


Our Parents

by hudsteith



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempted Sexual Assault, Ben as Roger's Son, Freddie is alive, Gay Bashing, Homophobia, Joe as John's Son, M/M, Past Drug Addiction, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2020-07-10 11:17:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 70,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19904857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hudsteith/pseuds/hudsteith
Summary: Joe and Ben's relationship makes the Deacon family and the Taylor family to finally meet. But their parents had a story before they were born.





	1. Chapter 1

The only perk of having your family close to your own home is that they can help you with a impulsive dinner you just set up three hours ago. Joe was going to have his boyfriend’s parents at his home because their plain to go to England had a tecnical problem and their one hour connection in LA turned out to be a over-night connection. Ben was thrilled to see his parents, that he hasn’t seen since Christmas, and Joe was pretty nervous because he had plans for this dinner.

Joe’s dad was still at work – and the ginger man texted him to go straight to his home after work – but his mother was happy to help him with the roast. As a british person she knew how to make a roast, even though she has lived in America since the nineties and she hasn’t cooked a roast very often.

“Ben said their parents like roast so much, mom.” Joe was all nerves with this dinner.

“They will probably make fun of american people trying to make a roast.” giggled Veronica.

“Did you miss England, mom?” the ginger man looked to her, who wore a sad smile.

“Only sometimes. But your grandparents are dead and my family is here now.” And she started to give more attention to the food, what Joe understood as a way to finish the conversation.

Joe received a text from Ben saying that he has just taken his parents at the airport, and they were going first to his apartment and then to Joe’s place. His heart was racing now. The moment he’s been waiting for is coming.

“Go shower, dude. You’re stinking.” said Luke, passing next to Joe without take his eyes off the phone.

“He’s right, Joe.” pointed his mom.

Joe ran to his bedroom, to take a shower and to change his clothes. He needed to be well dressed to the arrival of Ben’s parents. He’s only seen some pictures of them, and Joe must say he understood why the blond is so hot; even at their fourties Mr and Mrs Taylor are pretty gorgeous.

The ginger was combing his hair when the bell rang. His hands started to shake and he took some deep breaths. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” praised Joe, panicking, but when he looked at the mirror and said, serious: “You can do this, you idiot.”

Joe got out of his bedroom smiling, and he found Ben with his parents at the living room, being greeting by his mom and his other brother Cameron. They looked a bit tired; Mr Taylor was saying that they had been spending a week in Brazil and they were just going back home when the problem at the airport happened, but they weren’t angry with it. Mrs Taylor was kissing her son’s cheek while Ben was asking her to stop, between laughs.

“Joey!” exclaimed Ben with his strong british accent – Joe always mocks him for never losing it even though Ben has been living in LA for five years – and he saw his boyfriend staying still in the wall, so the blond walked to him, giving him a peck with a smile. “Come finally meet my parents.”

“Finally! We went to England during the press tour and I didn’t meet them. I thought you were hiding them from me.” teased Joe, more to try to break the tension inside him.

But it was okay, because Ben’s parents laughed with the ginger’s comment. “Nonsense. Ben talks everytime about you.” said Mrs Taylor.

“Big time.” added Mr Taylor, with a nod.

“It’s such a pleasure meet you two, Mr and Mrs Taylor.” Joe extended his hand, shaking quickly their hands.

“Stop it, boy. For you we are Roger” the blond man pointed to himself “and Debbie.” Roger pointed to his wife.

“Ben said to us you did a dinner. You didn’t have to, dear.” smiled Debbie.

“Correction: my mom did, I’m terrible at cooking.” cleared out Joe.

“Is it a break-up point, Benjamin?” teased Veronica.

“He has been saying this since the beginning, so I know where I was getting into, Mrs De-” but Ben was cut by his phone ringing. “It’s Gwil, I have to take it.”

Joe called Mr and Mrs Taylor to sit at the couch, asking them how was their trip to Brazil, they two getting pretty excited to talk about the beaches and the nights they spent at Salvador and Fortaleza, and saying next time Joe and Ben should go with them too.

After some minutes Ben sat along with them, next to Joe, hearing his parents’ stories about they trying to dance samba and forró and failing horribly, they four laughing with the way Mr Taylor was telling. Ben rested his head on Joe’s shoulder, pretty comfortable of being touchy with his boyfriend in front of his parents, the other one didn’t mind at all.

“The dinner is ready. Joe, can you please call Luke to come get dinner?” spoke Veronica.

“Be right back, guys. Please, feel yourselves at home.” Joe smiled and went out of his house.

His parents’ house was two blocks away from his. For most people it looks pretty lame to live next to their parents, but Joe never complained; his family is very close, and being around was just logical for him.

When Joe came at his parents’ house he didn’t knock at the front door, just getting in and calling “Luke, where are you? Dinner is ready.”

“Not hungry.” just said Luke, probably at his bedroom.

Joe took a deep breath. He fucking knew what this was about, and to be fair he wasn’t even shocked. But he was also not giving a fuck, because he was worried about bigger things, so Joe just said “Okay. I ask mom to get some for you later.”

“Nice.”

And Joe walked away.

When he was getting out of the house, he saw his dad parking his car in front of his house. Joe smiled when he saw the man getting out the car.

“Hi, Joseph. The dinner isn’t ready yet? I’m a bit hungry.” he asked, closing the car.

“It is, I was just calling Luke. He won’t come.” Joe shrugged.

Joe’s dad’s face changed, getting a red tone. “Let me have a word with him.”

But Joe grabbed on his dad’s arm. “Please, don’t. We can talk about it later. I just want to have a nice dinner. Ben’s parents are there and-”

“You didn’t say they are there.” he turned around and started to walk to Joe’s house, his son walking next to him.

And Joe started to explain the problem with their flight, and all the stories they said to him, and how he’s happy to meet them, and to his parents meet them.

Joe’s dad could, indeed, see the happiness on his son’s eyes. A shine that always has been on his eyes since Joe started to film the movie where he met Ben. He likes the blond; he’s polite and pretty charming.

He couldn’t pretend that he didn’t remind him someone from his own past.

“They seem pretty nice.” commented the man.

“Yes, Mr Deacon. They are. And this dinner will be amazing.” Joe assured, with a smile.

Joe asked his dad how it was at the studio today, and Mr Deacon answered, filling their walk to Joe’s house talking about new music projects the older man was getting into. The ginger knew how much he liked music, even though in some moments he thinks his father wasn’t completely happy, but he left this thoughts only to himself. He could be wrong after all.

When they arrived at Joe’s front door, his dad asked “Am I not too messy to this?”

“Not at all, dad. Let’s go meet Debbie and Roger Taylor.” Joe smiled softly to his dad.

And when he turned around to open the door he missed the older one gasping. “Who?”

But Joe didn’t notice, getting inside and taking his dad with him. “Guys, dad came with me. Mr and Mrs Taylor, meet my amazing dad, John Deacon.” announced Joe.

The same face John was wearing was printed on Roger’s: pure horror.  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @unicorndeaky on twitter and hudsteith on tumblr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even that Dealor is the major ship, Hardzzello will be a good plot in here, as a couple and as individuals

The others took a moment to understand there was something wrong. Roger Taylor and John Deacon were looking at each other like they were seeing a ghost. A pretty ugly and horrible ghost. Joe and Ben were smiling, but as soon as they saw their dad’s faces at each other, the happiness on their faces was replaced by a new feeling: confusion.

“What is wrong, guys?” Ben asked, looking at his boyfriend’s father and his own.

That probably made John pulled out from the cloudy place where his imagination was since he put his eyes on the older blond man. He slightly shook his head and looked to his son’s boyfriend. “Sorry, it’s just a terrible headache. Too much work.”

“Dad, that wasn’t your headache face.” pointed Joe, unconvinced.

“Joe, it wasn’t nice from you to argue with me in front of the guests.” John gave a warning smile to his son. “Where’s Veronica?”

“Veronica...How I didn’t notice?” whispered Roger, looking down.

“Dad, are you sure you’re okay?” Ben turned around to the man.

Roger looked at his son. He needed to play cool with him. “Yeah, just a bit tired.” said the blond.

“Rog, we need to talk.” Debbie grabbed her husband’s hand, but he slowly shoved it off.

“Not now, Debbie. I know, okay? But not now.” Roger spoke back, in a low tone.

“Can anybody, please, explain me what’s going on?” Cameron, who was the whole time listening music on his earphones, questioned.

But they heard the sound of a bottle being opened, and everybody looked at the kitchen. Veronica appeared with a bottle of red wine in her hands, smiling, unaware of what happened. “I thought it’d be nice to drink with the roast. Is that okay, Joe?”

“Of course, mom.” the ginger smiled, and then he looked again at his dad.

“I need to go to the bathroom. Can you show me, er...Sorry, I didn’t really catch your name.” Roger showed his best charming smile.

“John.” Joe’s dad said, in a bland tone.

“Can you show me, John?”

“Of course. Follow me.”

John walked to the hall that gives access to the guests’ bathroom, while everyone (unless Veronica) looked at both of them leaving with a weird feeling. They didn’t exchange a word while they were going to the bathroom’s door. Looking in each other’s eyes seemed too weird.

The brunet turned to the other, being calmer than before. “So, Roger, long time sin-”

“Please, cut this crap.” Roger sharply said. “Let’s do things simpler: We’ll say we were bandmates back in England and we had an argue and you left the band. We won’t tell any lie.”

“But...what If they ask more?” John panicked.

“We argued and I punched you.”

“You did punch me.”

“Can we not talk about it? Not now?”

And their eyes met. Almost twenty-two years since that grayish-green haven’t met the blue. And all these years haven’t made that look be less painful.

They grow old. They grow apart.

John scanned Roger’s face, trying to see what’s different since the last time they saw each other, in that rainy night. Yeah, Roger has some gray hair, like him, it’s shorter than before, and he gained some weight and a couple of wrinkles around his eyes. But he’s still Roger.

The blond man did the same, counting with his eyes what is new (at least for him) at John’s looks. He’s with a gray short hair, he looks more serious than he was in the old days, but he still remains with an etheral aura, and his wrinkles made his eyes look smaller. But he’s still John.

“You’re taking too long. Go back there.” Roger said, entering into the bathroom.

Roger closed the door and rested his back on it, shutting his eyes and breathing deeply. “Holy shit.” he spoke to himself, but not really believing. “Big trouble, big trouble.” And the blond felt a burning rising on his eyes. “No. You’re not gonna cry, you sucker.”

But it’s too late. The tears were already running on his face, making his cheeks wet. In his teen days Roger could punch the mirror of the sink, but he couldn’t anymore. He’s a fucking man. But what to do with the pain that’s filling his body?

He opened his eyes, turned the tap on and with one hand he gently throw water on his face. Roger couldn’t have a breakdown on Ben’s boyfriend’s house, he just couldn’t.

All the stupid things that happened should be in the past. It didn’t matter how his heart jumped when he saw John Deacon for the first time in almost three decades.

Looking to his own reflection, Roger murmured “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.”

He turned off the tap, cleaned his face with a towel and got out of the bathroom, like nothing had happened.

\---

The dinner was basically Joe and Ben telling to the others their funny stories in England, like when Joe met Rory and Tiger, Ben’s sisters, and they made the ginger sing Purple Rain in the karaoke. Mr and Mrs Taylor, Cameron and Veronica were listening to it with attention. John was pretty quiet, but it isn’t unusual, especially when he’s eating.

“I should say I’m glad you’re an actor, because if you were a singer you’d die of starvation.” teased Ben.

“Sorry if I don’t have the genes for singing, like you. Although my dad, Mr and Mrs Taylor, played the bass on a band when he was a teen.” Joe said, proudly. “He still plays it if we ask nicely, right dad?”

“I was better back then.” commented John, without lasting the talk.

Veronica, then, asked about Rory and Tiger, wanting to know more about them, and the Taylor family started talking about them. Ben had a nostalgic tone while talked about his siblings; he missed them a lot, and even If they see each other at least once a week by videochats he likes to hang out with them. They were the reason Ben had the guts to ask Joe out, and that’s why the ginger call them ‘guardian angels’.

When they finished eating, Veronica asked her husband to grab another bottle of wine, and he immediately stood up. Anything to be as far away from Roger.

Since the moment he put his eyes on the blond, John felt himself like a 18 years old again, and he could almost feel the rain drops that fell on him that days, years and years ago, touching his skin. He knew he couldn’t ask a better treatment by Roger, but the man at least expected the other wouldn’t have the resentment anymore. They weren’t teens anymore. They’re parents now, and their kids are together, so the least they could do was to be respectful with each other.

But, as John saw until now, Roger didn’t lose his bad temper.

The man was holding a nice bottle of wine and he was coming back to the table when he saw Joe standing up and putting his hand on his pocket, just to get on his knee and take out of his pocket a little box. When he opened it, everyone saw a shining ring.

Ben looked shocked to the ring and then to Joe, who was wearing a big smile, and then back to the ring.

“Benjamin, since the day I first saw you my heart just stopped. My first thought was that you weren’t real. But then, when we started to know each other, I realized you’re real and you’re around me. When you said I was your friend, I liked so much, but it isn’t good enough for me. I wanted more, and we waited to finish that damn movie and spended some months apart just to realize that we loved each other. Thank God you asked me out.” laughed Joe, between tears, and by now Ben was a mess too. “I swear to God I’d ask you out in the day after. But you did, and it was awesome. And everyday since you became my boyfriend is a bless, and I love you, like I never loved anyone else. And since you like to call me by my artistic name, I’ll call you by yours. Ben Hardy, would you marry me?”

The bottle of wine fell on the ground, making a noise of broken glass.

“Holy fuck.” John and Roger said, at the same time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @unicorndeaky at twitter
> 
> hudsteith at tumblr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to hate Luke Deacon :)

“John, are you okay?” asked Veronica, walking towards her husband, looking at the mess the wine made on the floor.

But John didn’t care about that but about the scene he has just witnessed. “You can’t marry him, Joe.” claimed John, his voice shaking.

Joe was standing up slowly, seeming pretty puzzled with his father’s behavior. He has accepted him since the day Joe came out of the closet, hugging him tight and saying that he’s proud for his son not being afraid to be himself. He met Ben months ago and they got along right away, John teasing about Ben’s strong accent right and then – even though he has never left his british accent himself – and Ben feeling comfortable enough to play back.

So his dad saying that he couldn’t marry the love of his life didn’t match with his preview acts.

“Is dad insane, mom?” asked Cameron, next to his mother.

“Ben, I think we should leave to let them talk. Just the family.” Roger spoke, looking directly to his son.

“No, please, stay.” Joe antecipated, raising his hands as asking them to stop. “I just need a word with my dad, just for five minutes.”

“He’s right, Joe. We need to discuss this.” John took two steps forward his son, who widened his eyes, shocked.

“Discuss what? I asked Ben to marry me, the only ones who need to discuss this is me and him.”

“Love, I think our dads are right.” Ben said, making his boyfriend devastated. “But my answer is yes. Of course I will marry you.” the blond smiled widely and wrapped his arms around Joe before they kissed.

John and Roger gasped before they saw their kids kissing, looking to each other and then back to them.

They were fucked.

“I love you so, so much.” whispered Joe, after the kiss.

“Me too, Joey.” Ben spoke, and opening his eyes he looked a bit more tense. “We can talk better later. In another dinner.”

And after that the Taylors awkwardly said goodbye to the Deacons and just left.

\---

John opened the front door wearing a tired face, followed by his wife and his two sons, with one of them still pretty upset with the scene at the dinner.

“Why don’t you finally tell me what is wrong with you, dad?” asked Joe.

John sighed loudly. “There’s nothing wrong with me! I just think you and Ben has just met too soon to make this step!”

“But it’s not your decision!”

“Jesus, what’s going on?” Luke appeared in the living room on his pijamas, annoyed with the noise his family were making.

“Joe proposed Ben.” said Cameron, thrilled.

But, of course, Joe’s other brother wasn’t. “You what?!?!”

“Please, Luke, not now.” Veronica rolled her eyes, already knowing the storm would be made on her roof.

“It’s already bad enough for me that you made that stupid gay film with him, and now you need to marry him?” shouted the boy.

“The problem is on you, Luke, you homophobic shit!” yelled Joe, and Cameron needed to step between the two or something could happen.

“Enough.” John said, in a warning tone that made his sons stop and stay quiet. “Luke, go to your room and don’t you dare to sleep. We need to have a really serious talk about your behavior. Cameron, please, go to your room as well. Your mom and I need to have a word with Joseph.”

The younger siblings went to their respective bedrooms, leaving Joe angry and stressed with their parents. John sat on his favorite chair, Veronica next to him, and Joe stayed standing, his arms crossed.

“Look, son-” John started, but soon was cut by the ginger.

“I just wanted to understand why it’s so hard for you to accept that I love Ben enough to spend the rest of my life with him.” Joe shot, exasperated. And he looked to his mom. “Say you don’t think the same, mom.”

Veronica looked first to her husband and then to Joe. “I don’t think it’s the best. I mean, you’re only twenty-one, dear!” she saw Joe rolling his eyes. “You’ve just made your first big movie, there’s so many things to explore and to do.”

“I can do all of this being married. You two married much younger than I am now.”

“Different times, different reasons.” John commented, in a low tone.

“Don’t play the ‘it was Joe’s fault’ card.”

“Joe, don’t say like that.” Joe knew he messed up when he heard his mother’s voice, and she was hurt.

“I didn’t mean like that, mom. I...I just love Ben so much. Everybody in the world wants to find somebody to love, and I found it very soon, just like you and dad.” Joe walked towards his mom and grabbed her hands, squeezing a little, and she showed up a small smile.

“But you aren’t estabilized in your careers, both of you. And marriage is love, but also means bills, children, all the package.” The older man pointed.

Joe was exhausted to argue with his dad. When he pictured that dinner, with him proposing to Ben, he imagined his father hugging they two right away, with a big smile on his face, maybe filming the whole thing. But he didn’t imagine, not even for a second, that his father could make things difficult.

He would never think to not marry Ben. This was off the table. But John’s support was pretty important for him too.

“We just want you to think a bit about it. Discuss with yourself if this isn’t just an impulse, you know.” John said, still worried. “Get some sleep, make a pros and cons list, do what you mind, and then come to us.”

“We love you and want you to be happy, but we also want you to make responsible choices.” Veronica argumented, John nodding after.

Joe just shook his head and started to walk to the front door. John got up and opened to his son, feeling pretty weird with the whole situation. He loved his son the so much, sometimes more than himself, but he really wanted that Joe not to marry Roger’s son.

“Please, don’t be mad at your old man.” John smiled a bit, when Joe passed through the open door.

“I’m not. I just thought this night would be different.” the ginger shrugged and walked away.

\--- 

“You what?” Ben wasn’t believing what he just heard.

“I don’t think you should marry just now.” commented Roger, getting into his and Debbie’s hotel room, his wife and son entering after him.

The older man just laid down in a bed, feeling suddenly tired. It was a hell of a day. Too many memories being revealed. And now his son was engaged with John’s son, and it couldn’t be worse.

Past met present and now everything’s a big shit.

“Dad, I really love you and I always hear your opinions, but this was never something I asked you for. Especially when I’m already legal to marry whoever I want.” Ben was pretty serious about it.

Before Roger could respond, Debbie’s phone started to ring, and she saw it was Tiger.

“Tiger, sweetie, can I call you later? Your father and I are with Ben right now and-” the blond woman was saying, but soon another female voice started to speak.

“Did he propose already? Joe proposed Ben?” the call was on speaker, and the entire room heard her.

“Did you know, you little bastard?” Ben laughed.

“Joe asked us weeks ago about your ring size, so we just did the math.” Rory’s voice was cheerful, and they heard the girls giggling.

“Girls, daddy loves you, but we need to finish a talk with your old brother.” Roger stood up and gently handed his wife’s phone.

“Dad, don’t hang-” but Roger already did.

Ben wasn’t recognizing his own dad. Roger never had a homophobic attitude – he’s a close friend of Freddie Mercury, one of the most flamboyant persons Ben has ever met, after all – and since Ben said he was having a crush for his movie partner he encouraged him to move forward and seemed pretty happy when Ben started to date Joe, even when they haven’t seen each other personally.

And he saying he didn’t want Ben to marry someone was making the young blond doubt his father.

“You seem pretty odd since the dinner, and now you don’t want me to marry Joe. I need explanations.” Ben was hurt, and his parents could see by his serious look. “Mom, please say you don’t agree with this.”

“I don’t totally disagree.” Debbie said, putting his hand on Roger’s shoulder. “You two are very young, this can be a hushed move, dear.”

“I bet you didn’t think that when it was your time.” The boy’s tone was sharpy.

“Watch it, kid. We are still your bloody parents.” Roger pointed his finger at Ben as a warning.

“How long have you met ? A year and a half? It’s too soon, Benjamin. It’s just our concern.” The blond woman finished.

“It’s still my decision, not yours.” Ben turned around, starting to feel his head aching.

For two bloody minutes he was the happiest man alive. In the moment he saw Joe getting down on his knees, saying those words to him, eyes wet of joy. His heart just jumped like crazy, and he knew that, since the moment he put his eyes on Joe the blond had a good feeling about him. And tonight, when the ginger asked him to be his husband, Ben was more sure about it. It seemed the end of a circle, just to begin a new one. And when Joe asked those four words, the world just stopped and they two got in a little bubble.

That was thrown away by their fathers.

“Hey, we are with you anyways. Just think a bit more about it, please.” Roger asked, making his son turned to look at him again.

“Please.” Added Debbie.

“I’m not okay with your attitude, dad, but I will think about it.” Ben nodded, in the end. “But we will attend a dinner for Joe’s family, in two days.”

“Ben, I need to go back to England tomorrow. I have a meeting-” Roger pointed, anxious. The least he wanted was to see John again this soon.

“Dad, I don’t give a damn. You made a big mess today, now you will stay to clean it up.”

The blond went to his own flat, leaving Roger and Debbie finally alone. The man laid down again in the bed, the woman watching him closing his eyes and scratch them.

“Now can we talk about it?” Debbie crossed her arms.

“Ugh, Deborah...Really?” groaned the blond man. He just wanted to sleep and pretend for some hours this day never happened.

But his wife was decided. “Yeah, really.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: FLASHBACK!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of everything.

_Roger was really tired of looking for new bassists. It’s the sixth that quit and honestly he’d not miss this one. The drummer knew how the rhythm sections needs to harmonize the song, so to this they need to have a connection, a good bonding. And he definitely didn’t have a good one with this guy._

_“He’s too hot-headed, and I barely handle my own hot head!” exclaimed the blond._

_“And now we need to go back to the bass player hunting again.” sighed Freddie._

_Roger couldn’t complain about Freddie. Like his old friend, he just wanted to be famous pretty soon. He couldn’t handle going to college and doing some boring major like Brian; to the guitar player it would be okay having a band and a degree, but Roger only wanted the first piece._

_Freddie Mercury chose the band name. First they were Smile, and now they are Queen. Roger couldn’t say he didn’t like the new name. It’s strong, and easier to stick in the people’s heads. The band already had an amazing front man, a skilled guitarist and a killer drummer. But they still needed someone to truly fit in the bass._

_When Brian said he found a person to audition to the band, Roger’s expectations were pretty low. The comings and goings in the band were frequent since last year, so until the bass player lasts at least for five months he wouldn’t win victory._

_In the day of the audition Roger was the first to arrive in the auditorium, and he laughed with himself about the fact that he arrived earlier than Brian, and he probably would tease his friend about it all day. Looking to his clock he saw he was half an hour earlier, so he could take a nap until his friends showed up._

_And he dreamed about one of his usual dreams: he, Freddie, Brian and someone else in front of a big crowd, everyone screaming their names and the name of Queen, singing their songs with passion and a lot of girls going hysterical when he waved to them at the end of the show. Roger always wanted to be famous, and he knew the potential of Queen, and the only reason they weren’t there yet was because the fourth part was still missing. The bassist that Queen needed wasn’t with them yet._

_“Wake up, blondie!” shouted Freddie, shaking his shoulders strongly._

_Roger raised his head in panick, not knowing at first where he was, and he could hear two people giggling with it, but he didn’t mind, and after a while he realized where he was and what he was doing there._

_“Great way to wake someone up. You’re the best friend.” Roger’s tone was sarcastic._

_“Anytime, lovie.” grinned Freddie._

_“I must say I’m shocked that you’re here, so I took a picture to remind this moment.” Brian said, showing his camera in hands._

_“I’m surrounded by amazing mates, definitely.”_

_“Don’t mind this annoying thing, John, he stays in the back, and we almost forget he’s there.” Freddie smiled to someone, and Roger finally looked up._

_The third person of the conversation was a brown haired boy that should be a year or two younger than him, probably still in sixth form, and his features were so serious, even though he was wearing a smile. His eyes were shining over a peculiar colour between green and gray, and they showed kindness. His hands were firmly holding a bass case and an amp._

_John – as Freddie called him – looked a nice boy, and instantly Roger felt that he needed to return the smile._

_“Hi, John, I’m Roger Taylor, the drummer and the most important member of Queen.” Roger stood up and extended his hand to the brown haired man._

_Freddie sighed in disbelief and Brian rolled his eyes._

_“I’m John Deacon, I’m trying to be a member of Queen, and maybe take your spot as the most important one.” The boy grinned, a red tone appearing over his cheeks._

_“Cheeky this little thing, hun?” Roger raised an eyebrow, amused._

_“_ _I’m taller than you.”_

_Freddie saw they’d be like this for a while if he let it, so the front man said that John could perform now, finishing their talk. Roger walked along his bandmates to sit in the auditorium seats. Now far away from him, the drummer could see that the brown haired man was nervous and anxious, and he really hoped that he was as good as Brian praised to him be._

_John’s shyness could fit with the bassist stereotype, and Queen couldn’t afford another big ego, or the band could explode._

_“When you’re ready, mate.” said Roger, and when John looked to him he gave a supportive smile, the boy nodding to thank him._

_The brown haired man took some deep breaths, his bass already tuned in the amp, and he closed his eyes, fingering lazily on the chords, just to feel them. And he started._

_As soon he started Roger saw something on him. John was a natural; he was younger – Brian just whispered he’s just 18 – but he knew how to play, he knew his bass so well. He’s playing just by the emotion, his eyes closed and feeling the vibration of the strands on his fingertips. Just a truly musician could do that, good ones at least. And John was a good one, that Roger was sure._

_Besides that, a new person embodied on the stage, a more confident boy._

_After John jamming for half a hour, he stopped and waited for the other three’s decision; they only accept a member if it’s a consence. Roger was thinking of ways to blackmailing Freddie and Brian if they didn’t say yes to John._

_“That was marvellous, John. I’d love to have you in the band. For me is a yes.” Freddie said, in pure ecstasy._

_“Me too. You’re insanely good, mate.” Brian smiled._

_John looked to Roger, biting his own lip._

_“Welcome to Queen, Deacon.” the drummer grinned._

**\---**

“When you will say the truth to our kids, Rog? Now you’re holding two secrets. There’s ours and by the way this night was you’re holding John’s too.” Debbie said, sitting with Roger’s feet on her lap, squeezing gently his leg.

“I don’t feel the urge to say none of them.” Roger said.

Debbie sighed, annoyed. “But I do. It isn’t that exciting to lie to our kids, you know.”

Roger knew that. He didn’t like it either. “Can we at least wait to see how this Ben’s engagment is going to end, and then we’ll see a good moment to talk about it.”

They let a silence stay in the room for a moment, each of them wrapped by their own thoughts. The day was really tiring, physically and emotionally.

“Do you wanna talk about today? About John?” asked Debbie, and she saw Roger’s face changing of colour when the other man was spoken.

“I want, but not today.” he simply said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be flashbacks of Dealor, but also flashbacks of Hardzzello :) Don't worry


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Hardzzello chapter to vanish the drama in the fandom :)

It was pretty early when Joe’s phone started to ring. The ginger groaned after he grabbed the phone and saw who was calling him, and the bad mood was replaced by a silly smile. “Hi, Ben.”

“Hi, babe. How was your talk with your parents?” asked Ben.

“It could’ve been better. They said we’re too young to marry.” And he groaned to show his anger to the blond.

“Mine too. They said we need to think this through.” 

“British people. Always so rational.” commented Joe, rolling his eyes.

“Your parents are british.” jested Ben, and Joe rolled his eyes, amused.

“But I was born here, in the beautiful country of America.”

“Stupid.”

“That loves you.”

“That I love as well.”

They giggled for some moments, enjoying their light chat, but as soon as their laughters died Joe got worried, and he knew Ben enough to know he was worried as well. They knew they could marry without their parents’ consent – they’re fucking adults and already made their own money, without any influences of them – but they loved them. It wouldn’t be the same without their support. 

And their dramatic minds – especially Joe’s – were imagining a empty chapel, without their families, just they two and a priest.

“I said to my parents we should have another dinner, with you and your parents, to settle things down. Last night dinner was weird.” Restarted the blond.

“I agree, about this two things. But...” Joe bit his own lip, nervous. “Are we still in the same page, right?”

Ben lingered for some moments, the call got silent, and then he answered “Of course, fiancée.” His tone evidencing joy for saying the last word.

Joe smiled, even though the other couldn’t see. “You little shit, I almost had a heart attack here with you holding me up.”

“‘You little shit’? This is how we’ll call each other now?” laughed the younger one. “Engagement really changed you.”

“Imagine when I put a ring on your left hand.” Joked the ginger, feeling his heart happier now. “Ben, how about we just tell them our decision only at the dinner?”

“To teach them a lesson?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s my future husband.”

Joe wanted to continue their call, but his mom was calling him, so he hung up on Ben to answer her. She asked him if he could take his brothers to school, and Joe accepted. He knew what this was about: his parents probably had a pretty long conversation with Luke and now they wanted they two to get along again.

When Joe came out to his family, including his two teen brothers, Luke didn’t matter at first. ‘Okay’ that was what he said after Joe’s long speech, focusing on his game again. But the problem began when he turned sixteen, and started to be popular at his school. He has friends from the football team, surrounded by cheerleaders and all pretty girls, and those people are bullies and scare the other students, especially LGBT+ ones. 

On the first time the older brother heard Luke call him ‘fag’ he thought he misheard, but his behavior started to change with Joe. He didn’t talk with the brother in public places, especially when someone from his school was there and sometimes Luke pretended he didn’t see Joe’s car parked to walk two blocks forwards so he could get in the car. But the most absurd thing was when he faked a fever so he couldn’t go to his brother’s movie premiere.

Only Cameron went with Joe, John and Veronica refusing to leave Luke and taking him to the hospital. Joe’s heart was broken that night, but – as his brother – he needed to fake all night.

Most of the time he didn’t mind about Luke, because the younger’s anger about his sexuality wouldn’t make Joe less gay, but still it’s someone he saw grow older, who Joe taught to ride a bike, who always comes to him when he’s scared of ghosts or of a horror movie. 

And six months ago Cameron came out as bissexual. Luke had an epic tantrum and John cut his allowance until the end of the year. Joe still has a good laugh when he recalled it.

After half an hour, Joe was in front of his parents’ house and worned his brothers, Cameron and Luke coming out of the house moments after. Cameron gave him a cheerful ‘Hi’ while Luke mouthed a quiet ‘Hey’.

“So, Joe, did you talk with Ben after that disaster?” asked Cameron, curious.

By the rearview, Joe saw Luke rolling his eyes.

“Yes.” Joe said.

“And...Are you gonna marry or not?” insisted the youngest brother.

“Can we talk about something else?” spoke Luke.

“Uh, someone is unhappy here. Did daddy cut your money to forever?” poked Joe, determined not to let his brother kill his mood.

“Just shut up.” and he put his earphones on.

Joe and Cameron looked at each other and giggled, not minding the other’s fury.

“Dad said to him that he should be ashamed of turning his back to his own brother but his straight privilege is blinding him.” Cameron gossiped, humoured.

“Sometimes I forget how dad’s woke.” Joe smiled, proud of his father. And this reminded him of their talk yesterday, his dad saying he couldn’t marry Ben just seconds ago after he proposed, and that he should wait.

The rest of the ride was Joe talking about some scripts he’s already reading. His performance in The Brokeback Mountain reboot was well appreciated by the critics and he’s taking advance of this moment that everyone knows his name in the industry. Most of them was still gay movies, but he wouldn’t discard the other ones; as an actor, being in his comfort zone wasn’t good enough for him. Cameron always loved to hear about his movies, giving him his honest opinions, the older one truly considering them.

When Joe parked on the school street, Luke didn’t even let Joe properly stop the car, getting out murmuring a ‘See ya’ to his brothers, and Cameron just sighed. He also received a piece of Luke’s anger, on his own way.

“Hey, Cam.” Joe spoke, before his brother get out of the car. “Luke or his friends never...did anything to you, right?” the ginger looked on Cameron’s eyes. “Don’t hide this to me.”

“No, they didn’t. I guess it’s because, deep down, Luke defends me, you know.” Cameron shurugged. They shared a silent moment, and then Cameron looked again to the school. “I should get going, or I’ll miss my first class.”

“Go. Have a nice day, Cam.”

Joe watched his brother getting out of the car and walking to the school, and Joe really wished he was telling him the truth.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I won't last this much again.

John felt relieved when Joe talked normally with him in the day after the proposal, because he only could sleep after 3 a.m. thinking of the whole mess that dinner was.   


No, he definetly didn’t lose his sleep because he saw Roger Taylor after twenty years. No, sir. It’s nothing to do with that.   


...Okay, some memories got back to his head. Some pretty fun and nice. Some pretty painful. But it’s Roger Taylor. If he crosses your life he left a mark, that’s for sure, and having a important person of his teenage years on his son’s house was a big shock to him.   


And Joe said to him about the dinner in the next two days. John really didn’t want to, but Joe said that wasn’t a choice, and to be fair he understood his son’s position. And, in some ways, he envied Joe’s bold behavior, because he thought he never was one brave person, and – unlike John – his son stayed strong with his decision, something that the brunet didn’t have in the past.   


So John knew what he had to do. With an unpretensious talk, John made Joe tell which hotel Roger was, and the man used his lunch time to go see him, because they need to have a proper talk.   


It’s a pretty good hotel, this was clear, and John wasn’t impressed. Even if didn’t remain friends with Roger, he did remain with Freddie and Brian, and he knew that Queen was a big sucess in the rock scenario, so money came with the it.    


He asked for Roger Taylor in the loob and the servent said he’s at the pool, and John walked to there.    


A really large pool with crystal clear water was in front of John, and he saw a man swimming on it. Just like a movie, the blond man was going to the edge to get out, climbing the steps of the pool.   


It seemed he’s in slow motion, moving his head to swing his wet hair out of his face, drops of water flying in the air. The water was also running down over his body, on his abs and some of the trails disappearing in his black trunks. John blinked twice over this view.   


Roger didn’t have a ugly body. Yeah, he’s fourty-two, all the flacid skin that it’d be in some places was there, but he’s still fit, and his rockstar features made him look more pretty. John always thought the blond would be pretty at his fourties. John needed to clear his throat after that.   


“John, wow. I didn’t think I’d see you here.” Roger spoke, catching some breath.   


“Yeah, I thought it’s time to a real talk. Just two of us.” John said, looking around, probably looking for Roger’s wife.   


Roger realized this right away, and he commented “Debbie isn’t here. She’s at the spa.” He looked down to his own body and stated “Yeah, not the best clothing to have ‘a real talk’, so just give me ten minutes.”   


John walked to sit on one of the tables was near the pool, enjoying the fresh wind that’s hitting his face. For some moments he imagined how his life it could be today if he never left Queen; actually he did this in some moments of his life, and he felt ashamed to admit that weren’t just a few times. He could stay in a hotel like this during tours, he could have a much more comfortable life that he had right now, he could be still dat...   


Yeah, it’d be a nice life, indeed, but that also meant that he wouldn’t have raised Joe, and probably Cameron and Luke would’ve never exited. And he loved Veronica, a lot. No, thinking of ‘what if’s of life wouldn’t help him right now. Especially when he’s about to talk about his first son’s future.   


Still in these thoughts John saw Roger going back to the pool, fully dressed, and with his hair less wet. “So, I’m here.” Said Roger, sitting in front of John.   


“Yes, you are.” Stated John, with a coy smile. “So, based on Ben’s age, I guess you knock Debbie up months after I quit from Queen.”   


Roger rolled his eyes, stressed. “Did you really make me dress to throw trash on me?”   


“ No, it’s just a comment. Also, he’s a good kid, Benjamin.” John genuinely smiled. “And before you think I don’t like your son, because I said to Joe not marry him, I have nothing against him. I just think-”   


“They are too young to marry, I know.” Roger agreed, and the brunet looked surprised. “What? We all are british. We’re always overthinking.”   


John tried to not giggle, but he didn’t take it, and for two seconds Roger admired John’s laugh, with his wrickles getting bigger with it, but in a pretty charming way tho.    


Roger looked to John with curiosity. “Then how the hell you didn’t know Ben was my son? I mean, I never hided him from the media.”   


“Let me say I never look up for Queen in the internet, and I asked to Freddie and Brian to not mention anything about you to me.” Answered John, calmly.   


“Those bastards!” the blond man hit the table loudly, making some people looking to them, but he didn’t care.  “They knew about Joe and Ben’s movie and dating. Why they never said anything to me?”   


“Because they thought it’s none of their business?” dared John.   


“Bullshit!” exclaimed Roger, and John felt intimidated with it when the other’s look fell on him. “And you, how did you manage to keep in touch with Freddie and Brian without me knowing? I’m with them almost everyday.”   


“There’s an amazing invention called cellphone, Roger.” pricked the brunet.   


“But I never saw you in any of Joe’s photos at social media or at the premiere.”   


“I still like to have my privacy, and I couldn’t go to the premiere.”   


“Me neither, Tiger made a emergency surgery, only Rory could go with Ben, and...Wait, why I’m telling you this? You’re not my friend.”   


The realization that Roger and him were now just strangers to each other was strong, and John lost his breath, feeling anxiety, an old friend, getting into his veins.    


Roger remember, like in a bad shot, the face John was wearing; he’s having an anxiety attack. His anger vanished and he got worried, so he grabbed John’s hands. “Sorry, Deaky, I didn’t mean it.”   


John’s iris wided when he heard that nickname. Only Roger used it, years and years ago, but just now the mention of it didn’t have the same effect it had in the past. “Don’t call me that. You’re right, we aren’t friends. We’re _nothing_ to each other.”   


And the brunet stood up, walking away to the other man.   


Roger could feel his heart painfully aching, and he took his wallet, opening and looking for something. A secret pocket, with an old and wrinkled photo that had John on it. He looked to that smile, so naive and beautiful, and he asked to himself if he’s still somewhere in the present John.   



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get used to it. And welcome the new kids.

Another request of Ben: his sisters. He picked them up in the airport, Rory and Tiger hugging them so tight, like they hadn’t seen each other weeks ago. They were at Freddie’s house since Roger and Debbie’s trip – something they loved, because ‘Freddie is the coolest uncle ever, please don’t say this to Uncle Brimi’ shooted Rory, when they were almost at the hotel their parents were – but now, with the current situation, the Queen drummer had to buy tickets to his teen daughters to fly to USA.

“Dads messed up pretty bad, hun?” asked Tiger, drinking his milkshake.

“He did. I mean...It’s like he has a problem with Joe, you know?” Ben sighed, tired.

“Who possibly can have a problem with him? He’s like a fly, he’s innofensive.” shrugged Rory, making her sister laugh.

“Was that a compliment?” giggled Ben. “If I didn’t know you, I’d say it’s not.”

“You should respect your future brother-in-law, Rory.” Tiger said firmly.

“Thank you, Ti.”

“Or he won’t buy those snickers he promised us at Christmas.”

The three siblings were laughing loudly when they parked the car in front of the hotel. Debbie was already waiting for her kids in the lounge, and he walked to greeting Tiger and Rory with welcoming hugs. She’s a cheesy mom, and the daughters pretend they don’t like the cute nicknames their mom calls them.

“Ty-Ty, Rawry-Bear, how was the flight?” Debbie asked, kissing their cheeks.

“Mom! We’re international models! Someone can recognize us and you’re calling us like we’re eight!” snorted Rory.

“You only modelling in England, you dingus.” teased Ben.

“Fuck you.” spilled Tiger.

“Language!” Debbie exclaimed.

“I love you too.” Ben messed his sister’s hair, laughing after. Looking to his mother, he said “Dinner at 7 pm. I will send the directions.”

\--- 

Something was burning at John’s stomach, and even he said a couple of times to his wife that everything is fine, Veronica knew John for more than twenty years. She knew when he’s not fine. And after some pressure, he said he’s a bit anxious of the dinner with the Taylors.

“Joe and Ben only will say what they decided, John.” spoke Veronica, putting up a black dress.

“But...What if we don’t like Ben’s family?” whispered John, like they were conspirating against someone, while he’s zipping up Veronica’s dress. “Ben is a good boy, but I don’t think we can fit with Mr and Mrs Taylor.”

“They are different than I tought. I mean, I already saw something about Queen and such, I imagined Roger Taylor being less...”

“‘Less’ what?” John felt his heart skipping a beat.

“Less something. I don’t know. He looks a different person out of the stage.”

The burning got bigger inside John. He needed an antiacid.

“Do I really need to go?” Luke showed up in his parents’ room without knocking.

“If you ask us one more time, I’ll assure that this will be the last time you’ll be out the house in this decade.” shot John, not looking to his son.

He didn’t know what he did wrong with Luke. He kinda feel responsible with the boy’s attitude. John never had that conversation about same-sex love. ‘What matters is not the person’s sexuality, but if they’re a good person or not’ isn’t what all parents do these days?

But in other hand...Why Joe and Cameron didn’t need it?

The boy just groaned in frustration and went out the bedroom. John and Veronica exchanged a tired glance.

When Joe picked his family, he looked calm, but serious. By his face his parents couldn’t know what he and Ben decided, but on John’s heart he already know their answer.

And that’s what makes him sick.

Ben picked a really good restaurant, and Joe said it’s where they had their first real date. Cameron sighed, murmuring how cute they are, and Veronica already warned Luke with a look if they only dared to roll his eyes.

Finding the requested table, the Deacons found the Taylor family already there, with the addiction of two blond girls that John assumed it’s Ben’s sisters.

“Good evening, everyone.” Joe showed a polite smile to the Taylor, a more warm smile directed to Rory and Tiger. “Hi, girls.” and he went there to hug them. “This is my family, that you already know from the photos, but anyway: My dad John, my mom Veronica, Luke and Cameron, my brothers.”

“Mr Deacon, Mrs Deacon, Cameron, Luke, these are my devious sisters I talked about the other day, Rory and Tiger.” Ben said, pointing to each one after their names.

Luke showed a really charming smile when he saw Tiger, but John whispered “Don’t even think about it.”, Cameron being closer enough to hear it and he laughed discretly.

\---

If the first dinner was awkward, this one was pretty silent. The families (besides Luke, of course) looked anxious to Ben and Joe, who were focused on their plates, eating in silence. Even they’re sitting next to each other, the two actors weren’t talking or interacting; it’s all part of the game they’re doing.

Debbie was seeing something else too: John was looking to Roger when the blond man wasn’t watching and his husband was doing the same with John. She could sense something more happened that she wasn’t knowing.

Joe was lingering his dessert when Cameron was tired enough and said “Okay, can you two please stop the bullshit and say to us what you decided?”

“Language, Cam!” spoke Veronica.

“Cameron is right. We’re dying to know if you’ll get married or not!” exclaimed Rory, Tiger nodding after.

Joe and Ben looked to each other. It’s time.

“So we decided...What we decided?” Ben looked to the ginger man, amused.

“We’ll still get married.” Joe smiled, grabbing Ben’s hand that’s on the dinner table.

Cameron, Tiger and Rory shouted excited, Luke just taking a deep breath but not daring to have another behavior right now.

John burried his face on his hands, pissed, even that he already knew this all along. He knew Joe wouldn’t take this down, he knew his son well enough to see his passionate look that he did to Ben in the moment they arrived.

“You still shouldn’t get married, son.” commented John, tired.

“Not again, dad...” Joe begged.

“Mr Deacon, I want to know what-” Ben started, but he was cut but his father.

“No, _I_ want to know what is wrong. Why they can't get married?” Roger asked, in the other side of the table. John looked to him, seeing the defying look on that blue eyes.

“They didn’t have much life experience.”

“And since when this means something? Young people can do smart choices, just as they can do dumb choices they can regret for the rest of his life.” Roger’s tone was sarcastic, and maybe only John and Debbie could understand why he did it. “Besides they are in love.”

“Being in love isn’t enough.”

“I know pretty well isn’t enough.”

The rest of the table was feeling something weird going on. The two old men were looking to each other with something close to anger, their neck veins popping up, John’s hands on fists, Roger with a pissed expression on his face.

“Dad, stop, please.” John only had a second to see Joe’s watery eyes, and after that the ginger turned around, going to the restaurent toilet.

Cameron, Tiger and Rory stood up, chasing after Joe to comfort him, and after a look of his mother Luke stood up too.

John and Roger knew they fucked it up when Ben looked to they two and said “Well done.” and went find Joe.

Yeah, they fucked it up.

Debbie got closer to Roger and whispered “You’re showing too much, dumbass.”

Veronica looked to his husband, who’s combing his gray hair nervously, and to Mr Taylor, who looked pretty upset what he just made, but she wouldn’t have no mercy of their misery. She’s angry as Ben; Joe didn’t deserve what they did, in front of both families, like their first son’s happiness wasn’t enough for them.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on here, but you two just have to suck it up, and you know why? Because we have a wedding to plan.” Veronica said, in a really threatening. John heard it a handful times in these twenty-two years together, and honestly, he’s kinda scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Veronica NKKDENIOCNWIFEOCNCWE


	8. Chapter 8

This time John and Roger did a big shit. Joe wasn’t talking to his dad and Ben wasn’t answering his father’s calls.

John knew he did something bad when Cam, who always liked to spend some time with him said something a sharpy “I don’t want to.” when he asked to go buy some ice cream with him. Roger never had a bad time with Rory, but the blond teenager was giving him bad looks.

They could be stubborn, but they loved their families, and they’d do anything to be in good terms with their kids.

John was in his office, talking with his secretary about the tasks in this month when he heard a knock on his door, and he saw Roger Taylor getting into the room. The young lady just opened her mouth when she saw the Queen drummer there, and he gave her his best charming smile when the employee said how much he loved his song, especially Queen first hit. Roger gave a quick look to John after that.

When the girl opened the door again, to get out of the room, John noted a lot of people looking to there, wanting to see the blond rockstar again.

“So you’re making a fuss in the office.” commented John, with no enthusiasm. He never liked to get attention.

“Sorry, it happens all the time.” The blond smirked, not looking really sorry.

“So, what made you come here?” and then something hit on him. “And how did you know where I work?”

“I have my sources.”

“Freddie, I’m sure.” John teased.

Roger sat in John’s couch, getting comfortable before the touchy subject. It’s still weird for him to look at John; sometimes he could see the boy he met at the seventies, with coy smile and soft cheeks, but then he remembered that he’s now this man, distant and cold.

“How is your kids with you?” asked Roger, scratching his arms over the couch.

“Treating me like I’m the worse father ever.” Replied John, tired.

“Welcome to the club.” Snorted the blond.

The shared a look. The last times they look into the other’s eyes it’s a odd feeling: anger, sadness, fear. But now they shared a empath look; they knew what the other was being thought.

Even that they have a story together, they raised a family they cared about.

“Let’s take a walk, John?” invited the drummer, standing up. “I mean, if you can.”

“Yes, most of my work here is done.” John walked to the door and opened, letting Roger cross it first.

When they’re out of the room the people of the office looked up again, some brave ones waving to Roger Taylor, who just nodded. Some whispers and some stares during their small walk to the elevator, and John could feel people thinking ‘How the hell John Deacon knows Roger Taylor from Queen?’.

_Only if they knew..._

Their ride until the park near John’s office was quiet, no one knowing what to talk. John knew he’s harsh to say to that Roger in the other day they’re nothing to each other, but they didn’t know each other anymore. They were just memories from other each.

And now they needed to know how to live close to each other again. For their kids’ sake. It’d be hard, but nothing that love couldn’t help.

_“Why did you call me?” asked John, already in the pub, sitting in front of his new bandmate._

_“Because I can see how shy you are, so I thought it’d be good to know you.” Roger just shrugged, and_ _he started to look around, trying to find a waiter. “And we’re the rhythm section, mate. We have to_ _know each other damn well, so we can know what the other is thinking.”_

_“You take this band project really serious, hun?” the drummer saw the brunet raising his eyebrows, a bit amused with his enthusiasm._

_“Of course I am, John! I want to be famous!” claimed him, seconds before the waiter come to their_ _booth._

_They asked for two beers and had a light talk about uni, the major they chose and why they did it for_ _some minutes. When the pub started to be crowded they two had to be closer, so they could hear_ _themselves. John wasn’t a fan of being this close to anyone, and he’s still knowing Roger, but by the_ _way the blond was treating you looked like he wasn’t feeling uncomfortable too._

_The brunet only had two rehearsals with Queen and he already knew some things about his new_ _bandmates: they like to touch. Freddie could hold your hand and talk about life all the time. Brian_ _could have big eyes and sit right next to him, shoulder to shoulder, when he talked about space (John_ _knew his major was about space or something). Roger could hug you while he’s drunk, even they met_ _hours ago, after John’s audition._

_But the band was alright and he could get used to it._

_“Dreaming too much, Deacon?” John blinked twice and saw Roger talking to him. “What were you_ _thinking?”_

_The blond was quite a lot, but John didn’t mind. “I was thinking about my former band.” Lied John. “I_ _know I’m a shy lad, and I can last a bit to feel myself at home with you.”_

_“Don’t be scared, we don’t bite.” Roger nodded, taking a sip of his beer._

_John hummed while he drank his own beer, and Roger thought the brunet was hiding something_ _there._

_“What?” asked Roger, puzzled._

_The younger boy lingered, thinking if he should say the truth. “It’s just I remembered the end of the_ _sentence. ‘Only if you want to.’”_

_Roger looked at him, amused. “You’re really cheeky.”_

_John just shrugged._

They walked in the park until they found a fountain, and John explained to the blond that people all over the city came to this place to make wishes. They really believe that they can get a better luck if they throw in the fountain a coin. Roger giggled and John understood; he didn’t believe either.

“If I was dumb enough I’d throw my penny in here. Because, you know, the circumstances.” Roger rolled his eyes.

“They’re serious about the wedding, Roger. They won’t quit. What are we gonna do?” John looked anxious, staring the his former bandmate.

“Get on board, of course. Joe and Ben are right, is their choice, not ours.” Roger put his hand on his pocket, and grabbed something without take it out. “We chose long time ago.”

John didn’t reply, but stared at the moviment inside Roger’s pocket, curious. “What is in your pocket?”

“Oh.” Roger didn’t consciously realize he’s grabbing something in his pocket. He took it out, showing to the brunet a cigarette case.

It looked familiar to John, and looking closer he saw a little “D” in the metal. “Is that...?”

“Yes.”

“Are you still smoking?”

“No. I quit 15 years ago, when Ben had pneumonia.” The drummer saw John just nodding. “It’s a behavior I have, grab this case when I get a little nervous.”

“And when you got nervous?”

“When I lose a battle.”

John felt his heart drop with the comment. He realized that Roger, somehow, will never forgive him, but that he’s up to at least let it slide the past. For their sons. Because the past didn’t matter now, but just the present, and about this thing they agree.

But he could also sense that something was setting now. Roger’s blue eyes had a strange shine, almost predatory, something that John didn’t need to deal with for so many years. A shiver run his spine, and, as always, he felt glued in the ground.

Damn Taylor and his power.

The blond took a step forward when his phone started to ring. Maybe because he’s thinking it’s Ben  
he answered too soon. “Hello?”

“Where the hell are you, Rog?” asked the voice.

“I’m in America, Freddie, you know this.” The blond frowned with the question.

“I know, dear, you told me days ago. I’m asking you where you are that you’re not in the hotel. I texted you a hour ago.” Freddie’s voice sounded exasperated.

Roger looked to his texts.

_It’s finally the time for the four of us reunite again. Brian and I just landed._

“Freddie and Brian are here.” Roger said to John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Queen will reunite again!


	9. Chapter 9

“Uncle Freddie! Uncle Bri!” Rory ran to hug the two Queen members when they arrived in the hotel.

“What are you doing here?”

“The news fly and we know there’s a wedding coming!” sang Freddie, smiling.

“Also Roger didn’t come to an important business meeting, so we need to talk with him.” Added Brian, opening his arms when Tiger found the group.

“Oh my god, you came. Finally some steam here.” Said the girl after the hug. “This place is a bit dead since Ben and Joe’s engagement dinner.

“Oh, we need details!” Freddie said, grabbing the girls’ hands and going to the elevator.

\---

“Boys, I think your fathers already learned their lessons.” Clapped Veronica, pausing the movie Ben and Joe were watching at Joe’s place. “Now go talk with them.”

“With all respect, Mrs Deacon, but Joe cried all night after that dinner. And he’s still a little upset.” Ben’s voice was firm. “I’m pissed too.”

With just a few days, but Joe was missing his father. All the jokes they had with each other, all the things they liked to do together. Joe’s father was an amazing party maker, so the engagement party, with their friends and such will be amazing if John was heading it. And the only thing that Joe liked to talk to when he’s upset was his father. But now he’s the person that upset Joe.

Ben, as well, was pretty mad at Roger. He always saw his dad as a superhero, because he knew how to be a rockstar and a damn good father, never missing any big moments of any of his three kids. Ben liked to hear Roger’s advice, to have good moments with him, travelling or even spending the day at the pool with the family. Their bonding was strong, but his father’s attitude was making him wonder if Roger was indeed a good parent.

So, they both were ignoring their fathers, they decided to watch movies or do anything they could to forget about their current unsolved problems.

“I know they said bad things, and they should be more supportive, but Debbie and I talked with them, and I’m sure they’re desperate to apologize to you.” Veronica tried to put some sense. She didn’t like to see her family separated like this.

Ben looked at Joe. They were both tired of fighting with their parents. “We can give them another chance, babe.”

“But they should come to us, not the contrary!” Whined Joe.

“I know, love, but I know that the moment your father sees you he’ll beg for you to forgive him.” Ben gave him a peck.

“He will,” assured Joe’s mom.

“Ok, ok, we will go to dad’s office,” Joe said, standing up from the couch.

Maybe the ginger man moving made Ben realize something. “Joe, but you need to shower first.” The blond muffled his nose.

“Both of you,” corrected Veronica.

\---

“They are in big trouble,” Commented Brian.

“Oh, they are,” agreed Freddie, still in shock.

The two men heard all that had happened since Joe and Ben got engaged, and even Rory and Tiger said that their dad and ‘Mr Deacon’ were pretty annoying about the whole ‘too young to marry thing.’ Freddie and Brian knew what was going on.

Debbie showed up and said to the girls that she’d spend some time at the mall and if they wanted to come with her. The teens said goodbye to them and followed their mother out of the room.

Brian texted Roger to say what room the two were – the type of conversation they needed to have couldn’t be done in some restaurant. They needed to be behind closed doors.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Brian said, wisely. “They won’t.”

“You can’t know.” Freddie sounded quizzical.

“I do, and you do too.” The curly-haired man watched Freddie rolling his eyes. “They love their sons too much to do this.”

Freddie would’ve replied if the door hadn’t opened, revealing the men they were talking about.

“My dear John. How long since I last saw you!” Freddie walked to hug the friend he hadn’t visited for almost two years.

Even talking everyday, seeing Freddie personally was way better. John smiled like he hadn’t done in the past few days. Their friendship didn’t get cold or shallow because the years they fell apart. The years made them get more mature, and they respected each other, even though they seemed to have opposite personalities.

“How are you, Freddie?” questioned John, feeling a bit happier.

And the brunet giggled when the Queen front man cupped his face, like he was his child – and Freddie was, indeed, protective with his friend, even when they were both in their fourties. “Now I’m better.”

“I’m here too, Freddie,” claimed Roger, trying to sound jealous.

“Oh, shut up, blondie.” Freddie rolled his eyes and waved on his direction.

“Hi, John,” Brian spoke, taking his old friend away from Freddie and hugging him too.

Even when John asked not to, Brian always sent him letters, when the technology wasn’t helpful enough to do otherwise. And since the guitarist was really keen to America, they always had the chance to meet John from time to time, the last time they saw each other being just a couple of months ago.

“Hi, Brian. It’s nice to see you again.” Smiled John, squeezing Brian’s shoulder.

Silence settled in the room. It had been more than twenty years since the four of them were together in the same space. It was a bit odd, but for some reason they looked at each other and felt the adrenaline. Some shots of the days they jammed together popped on their heads. More young and chilling days.

“So we heard about the engagement,” mentioned Brian.

“And that you two are shitting around.” Freddie crossed his arms.

Roger laughed, even that there was no humour in the moment. Of course Freddie would throw this in their faces as soon as he could. His friend was never someone to keep anything to himself.

Freddie could love John and Roger, but he knew they were doing what they were doing for the wrong reasons. And he needed to put some sense into their stupid heads.

“So did you two flight all the way from England to yell at us?” Roger asked, a little outraged.

“We did flight all the way from England because you never miss our meeting and we got worried,” Brian answered.

“I have a phone for that.”

Brian was tired of this bullshit. “But we got worried about this meeting too.” He pointed to the youngest men in the room. “We imagined that it could be stressful.”

“No, you can’t imagine,” murmured John.

“Something I can’t actually imagine is that you two put a dead issue above Joe and Ben,” Freddie said, disappointed with his friends. “If there’s something you want to say to each other, just say it.”

Roger and John shared a scared look. There was a lot to say – twenty-two years of silence choked up on their throats – but now, in front of each other, there was fear. What if they said what they wanted to say and everything they built during those years fell to the ground? Or worse, what if what they said wasn’t what they wanted to hear?

‘A dead issue’. It didn’t seem really dead to them.

John was feeling trapped, like the walls were closing and his heart was racing up. He needed to get out.

“I need some air.” John turned around, trying to find the door handle.

“No, you’re not gonna leave _again_!” Yelled Roger.

John didn’t care about it and opened the door, walking to the hotel hall, taking some deep breaths. He had to calm down.

“Deaky, come here,” asked Freddie, chasing him outside the room.

Brian and Roger followed the main singer, and they saw John with his hand on his chest, trying to breathe normally.

“Stop calling me ‘Deaky’. I’m not eighteen anymore,” John managed to say that, still gasping for air.

“Dad?”

The four men looked to the direction of the voice, and they saw Joe and Ben looking at them, puzzled.

As it sounded, John Deacon knew the Queen members.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lingering to update is my brandmark, sorry about that

John was lingering his drinking because he knew in the moment he rested the glass of water he’d need to answer some questions.

As it seemed, Joe and Ben heard more than they needed to, and now they knew John know Freddie and Brian. And Roger.

Joe remembered when he was a teen he started to like Queen and he showed to his dad some songs of the rock band. He knew it wasn’t his father’s music style, but they’re british too, so at least he could listen some songs. I mean, they have a lot of hits, but this didn’t impress John much.

Only if John had any social media, Joe could share something Queen relatable with his father and make him change his mind, so one day they could go to a Queen concert and meet the band.

But it seemed he didn’t have to.

“Hi, Ben.” Greeted Brian. “So this is your lovely boyfriend, Joe, right?” the man asked, like he didn’t see pictures of the boy since ever.

“Fiancee.” Corrected the blond.

“Nice to meet you, Mr May. It’s such an honour.” Joe extended his hand, shaking it when Brian grabbed it.

“Nice to meet you too. And this is Freddie Mercury.” Pointed the guitarist, smiling.

“The one and the only. Hi, Joe.” Freddie said, shaking hands with the ginger man. “You have a good eye, Ben.” Teased Freddie, looking to Roger’s son.

“As much as I’d like to extend the cheap chat, can you, please, explain what’s going on?” asked Ben, a bit concerned.

“We went to my dad’s office and they said you two were together, and you both didn’t pick up your phones, and when we came here to ask Debbie some information we found my dad with an anxiety attack being comforted by the Queen band.” Everything Joe said still sounded weird, even out loud.

“Dad, what’s happening?”

John looked to Freddie, and by the way the front man was looking him back he’s saying ‘It’s time’.

The brunet just shrugged; he never wanted the time to come.

“Can we have this conversation at home? Cameron and Luke deserve to know too.” Asked John.

Joe and Ben shared a look. Both were confused with the scene they witnessed, and now the ginger was scared with his father’s upcoming revelation. The blond just nodded.

“I guess we need to talk too, Ben.” Said Roger, and his son turned around to see his father. He seemed a bit ashamed, a look that wasn’t often on the drummer’s face.

“Yes, we do.” Ben agreed. And looking to Joe again, he said “Go talk with your father. I’ll text you latter, okay?”

“Okay.” Joe nodded. He looked to Freddie and Briand and smiled again. “I hope I see you again soon.”

“I guess you will.” Assured Brian, Freddie smiling back to the ginger.

\---

Already at home, John could see his hands wet. He’s nervous; he’d need to talk about a past he didn’t talk for so long. It wasn’t fully sad, but when time passes, even the happy parts turned a bit painful to talk about.

The family was reunited in the living room, the other four people staring to John with expectation.

John almost laughed; they didn’t have the slightest idea what’s expecting.

“So, Joe found me in the hotel the Taylors are with Freddie Mercury and Brian May.” Started John.

“Is Queen in town?” yelled Cameron, amazed.

“Just chill, Cam. That Freddie Mercury is a fa–” Luke was talking and he stopped himself when he realized what he’s about to say in front of his whole family.

“Freddie Mercury is a fabulous man, Luke, we all know.” Smirked Joe, making Cam giggle.

“Enough, boys.” Asked Veronica. “Go on, John.”

He knew what Luke’s about to say. _He didn’t fucking know_.

“Anyway, Joe asked to me what’s going on.” Continued John, trying to stay calm.

“Because dad was talking with fucking Queen like they know each other. Freddie called him ‘Deaky’. Is that a nickname?” Joe frowned.

“Yes, I remember some friends of John called him ‘Deaky’ at college, right?” Veronica smiled, remembering that time.

It’s the moment John never wanted to happen. But his family deserved to know.

“So...They’re so familiar with me because we really know each other. I was bassist of Queen.” John said, beaten.

“What?!?” that was an unisson.

“I just played with them in the first album, and after the album release I quit.” John remembered what Roger said to him in the first dinner. “I have a disagreement with Roger and we fought. He punched me and I quit the band. That’s the story.”

Veronica and her three sons were out of words, shocked. John Deacon had a big secret, something he never shared with his sons, with his wife.

_What else he could be hidden from them for all this time?_

“So you know Ben’s father? You treated him like you never met the man.” Commented Veronica, still stunned.

“I didn’t want to relive all the drama again.” John just shrugged, and he thought that it’s impossible.

Because the drama was still there, pulsing, alive.

“That’s why there’s a tension between you two.” Pointed Cameron. “Like a weird energy.”

John’s mouth was dry. Of course the family would notice something, because the little argue he and Roger had in front of everyone, but they didn’t suppose to exude ‘a weird energy’. Their families couldn’t know about any energy.

That’s what happens when Roger Taylor come to your life. He turns everything in a mess.

“Why did you never say anything to me?” asked Veronica, and by her eyes John could sense she’s hurt. “I mean, I know you’re in a band when I got pregnant and you quit, but I never imagined it was Queen and you quit because of a fight.”

“That’s a part of my past I rather forget.” John answered.

“You ‘rather forget’ that you’re part of one of the most famous bands of the world?” Cameron widened his eyes, thinking how insane his father was.

“At least you get a paycheck for the album you participated, right?” Luke questioned, typing on his phone, not really into that talk.

“That’s not the point.” John tried to remain the peace in the room.

“The point is that you took away from us the opportunity to meet amazing people like Freddie and  
Brian and Roger.” Joe pointed, a cold tone on his voice. “I could meet Ben since I was a kid.”

“It’s my life, okay? It wasn’t your choice to make!” exclaimed John, angrily.

And the man marched to his room, without looking back.

How could they think they have the right to say _what he should do with his own life_? They didn’t know what he’d been through, what he had to abdicate to be the head of this family, to live in America.

John said some no’s so he could be close to his family. He gave up on playing professionally in bands  
because he didn’t want to have again what he had with Queen. They rather be in a job in the music industry that wasn’t what he wanted to, that made him feel small. That’s what he did for this family.

The man was sitting in his bed when someone knocked the door, and John saw his older son showing his head, shyly. “Can I come inside?”

“Yes.” John said, with no emotion.

John only yelled at Joe a few times in all these twenty-one years, so when the ginger man saw his father raising his voice in the living room he got worried. He was too focused on his desires and that his dad needed to apologize with him that Joe didn’t think of what he’s feeling. The whole situation was clearly stressing him.

His father never was a open person. He’s supportive and kind and liked to please his family, but he never shared about his worries, if anything at work wasn’t well. Joe used to see John as a rock, but he needed to remember his father wasn’t a rock, that he’s a person. With flash and bones, imperfect.

Joe entered the room and walked to his father, sitting next to him. “Dad, I’m so sorry if I pushed you. It’s your history and anyone here needs to push you to say anything.” Apologized Joe.

“And I’m sorry for being difficult with your choice of marrying someone you love. I was too worried that something could get wrong in the future and forgot that I should stick with the present.” John said, putting his hands on his son’s shoulder.

John hugged Joe, the action being like they didn’t see each other for a long time. They’re finding each other again.

“Thanks, dad.” Said Joe, after the hug, a tear showing up on his eyes. “Cam and Luke seem fine with your choice of not telling us about it, but you should talk with mom.”

By the look Joe was showing John knew that Veronica was still hurt. Yeah, they shared a life together, but John rather not tell her the whole story of his life.

Some moments just needed to be buried.

\---

Ben was with his mouth open, surprised what he just heard.

So his future father-in-law was a former Queen bassist, and he met his father way before that dinner. That explained a lot.

“So why you two pretended you didn’t know each other?” asked Ben, still puzzled.

Roger exchanged a quick look with Freddie and Brian and then he replied “I realized that John never said a word to his family and I respected that.”

“And did you remember what’s the matter of your fight?”

“No.”

Freddie and Brian thought the same: ‘He’s playing a dangerous game.’

“And what happened next?” pressured Ben.

“We lost contact. Never heard of him after that.” Simply said the blond.

“But he could contact you. I mean...” and the man just waved both hands, showing his dad, Freddie and Brian, pointing they’re famous enough.

“I know, dear.” Smirked Freddie, proud of himself.

“But he didn’t want to, so...” Roger just shrugged. “Hey, Ben, I think I owe you an apologize.”

“Yeah, you do.” The blond crossed his arms, defensive. Roger was proud of his son; he teached him to be brave enough to defend his own battles, and he’s doing it right now.

“You know me, I think I’m always right, but this time I wasn’t. It’s your happiness we’re talking about and if you want to marry Joe, you should and you will have my full support.” Smiled Roger, touching his son’s arms. “I’m sorry if I showed in some moment that I wasn’t okay with this. I love you and I will love your future husband too.”

Ben just pulled his father into a hug, both clapping the other’s back. Their relationship was one of the treasures they both had on their lives, and feeling they’re right on track again was filling their hearts.

A buzz on Ben’s pocket made him pull out the hug, giving Roger time to wipe a tear over his face. He replied the text and looked again to Roger “Joe texted me to meet him again with his brother. Do you mind?”

“No, go have fun with them.” Roger shot a smile, flicking his wrist.

“Ok. Will you stay for a couple of days?” Ben asked to Freddie and Brian. “We need to catch up.”

“We will, Ben, don’t worry.” Said Brian.

Freddie waited the blond young man to get out of the room to call the service to bring some tea for three. Roger knew it wasn’t over yet.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update more often

Ben, Joe and Cam found Tiger and Rory with Debbie at the mall. When the boys told them the news, Rory and Tiger swore loudly, making some people turn around and stare at them, but they didn’t care.

Debbie, using her acting skills she always had, looked shocked, widening her beautiful eyes. “Roger will have to explain a lot to me.” Claimed the woman. She left her daughter with Ben, saying she needed to go back to the hotel, and left. 

At that, they decided to have some ice cream while they talked about the revelation they had that day.   
“Can you imagine? All of us could be like cousins.” Cameron shot, still a bit sad about it.

“You two could have met each other years and years ago.” pointed Rory, looking to her brother and then at Joe.

This crossed the blond’s mind, he couldn’t lie, but looking to his fiance right now, he didn’t regret the way they met at all, in the first table read for the movie.

_Ben was still a bit scared. He only had some small role in soap operas in England. The man never wanted his father’s influence on his career, or the pleasure to get a role would never be as good as it was. And now he was in a big production, and being in The Brokeback Mountain reboot meant a lot for him, because the movie was a mark for the LGBT+ cinematography and helped him to realize that was he felt for other men wasn’t a sin._

_The staff greeted him cordially, and the producer introduced him with the actors and actresses that were already there. Ben said how excited he’s to be there, and he wanted to learn with them._

_“We just need to wait for Joe. He said he’s nearby.” The producer said, and Ben looked to the plaque next to his own._

_Joe Mazzello. What a funny artistic name. He couldn’t say much. His family still makes fun with him because he chose Hardy was his last name._

_A ginger man opened the door loudly, making everyone turn back to look at him. Ben watched how messy his hair was, and his beard was growing. It suited him._

_“Sorry, guys, I had a problem to find the location, and the traffic was a mess.” He just said, and he looked to the table, trying to find his seat, and his eyes set on Ben, who just waved to him._

_Joe walked around the table, and pushed the chair next to Ben so he could sit on it. Moved aside, his extended his hand to the blond._

_“Hi, partner. I’m Joe. Nice to meet you.” Said Joe, smiling._

_His smile was cute enough to make Ben smile back to him. “Hi, mate. I’m Ben.”_

“Dad’s right. It’s their story, we don’t need to meddle. If they didn’t tell us, it’s because there’s a reason for it.” Commented Joe, making the other nod.

“But can you imagine?” insisted Cameron, and the engaged couple smiled. “Joe, we and Luke could have been behind the curtains watching all the Queen concerts whenever we wanted to.”

“Speaking of Luke, where is he?” asked Tiger.

“He’s ‘too straight’ to be here.” Cameron just shrugged, not giving a damn about his brother being missing.

“Straight people, am I right?”

“Hey!” protested Rory, crossing her arms.

“Ok, kiddo, you’re a cool one.” Teased Ben.

•••

Freddie, Brian and Roger were drinking tea in Roger’s room, discussing about the Queen meeting. Just trivial things, about touring and the new album they wanted to release next year, but Roger said he wanted to release just after his son’s wedding. He knew Ben, the blond would like to make the ceremony soon. The next months would be a bloody nightmare.

Debbie opened the door, with a lot of bags. “Hi, guys. There’s tea for me?”

“Always, darling.” Smiled Freddie.

She put the bags in the bed and went to the men, sitting in the spare chair, letting Roger fill a cup with tea for her, thanking him in the end.

“So what are you talking about?” asked the blond, taking a sip of her tea.

“Of how stupid your husbands are.” Said Freddie boldly, smirking.

“You need to be more specific of what stupidity he did, Freddie.”

Brian choked on his tea, giggling, and Roger just rolled his eyes.

“John?” guessed the woman.

“Yes.” Affirmed the Queen guitarist. “They two are trying to stop the unstoppable. John really thought that he could hide his past with Queen when his son is marrying Roger’s.”

“I told Roger to talk to him a bunch of times, so he could come clean to his family, but of course, he’s stubborn as this one.” Debbie pointed to her husband. “It doesn’t surprise me how much Roger lo–”

“Can we, please, talk about anything else?”

“Rog, dear, I love you and I love Deaky, but if you two don’t watch it, you’ll do big shit.” Advised the front man. “We know that you both have...issues with each other, but there’s something more important to deal with now.”

Roger looked down, touching his case in the jeans pocket. He wanted to look calm, but he wasn’t – how could he be with John around? The blond really wanted to be casual, to have a normal conversation with his former something, but their baggage was too heavy to be normal either way. It didn’t matter how long it’d take to see each other again.

It was Roger and John they were talking about. The rhythm section. The sonic volcano.

And now he was pissed at his bandmates.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were still in touch with him?” asked Roger, still without looking up.

Freddie snorted, a bit sadly. “You know why, Rog.”

 _Of course_. John asked them not to. He didn’t want to have any contact with him.

It was quite comical. He should have been the one who didn’t want to have any contact with John, but the brunet didn’t let him have the chance to say no. He cut the strand before him.

Smart.

•••

In twenty-two years of marriage Veronica had never slept alone because she wanted to, but yesterday she just grabbed her stuff and said she’d sleep at Joe’s house.

John had always had a strong relationship with his wife. They argued, of course, because they were two different individuals, but they never fought. And now they slept without talking to each other.

The man was drinking in the middle of the night when he saw his kid’s door open, revealing a sleepy Luke. He blinked as the kitchen’s light caught his eyes and saw his father in the badly lit room. The teen walked over there sleepily and sat next to his father.

“Did I wake you up?” asked John, worriedly.

“No. I just wanted to pee.” Luke explained as he stared at the glass on his father’s hand. “Why are you drinking in the middle of the night? Is this because of mom?”

“It’s because I don’t want tomorrow to come.” John took the last sip of the drink and set the glass down.

Luke stayed silent for a few seconds, but then he took a deep breath and said “She’s just upset because she likes to know everything, you know. I mean, you were that band’s bassist like 50 years ago, who cares? But somehow she does.”

John couldn’t control the laughter when he heard his son’s words. He looked at him, seeing in that moment the sweet and gentle boy he took care for all those years.

“Good night, dad.” and with that Luke stood up, walking to the bathroom.

The moment they share was now gone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's starting...

“I swear to God, Roger, I’m getting tired of this.” complained Debbie, after only five minutes of the drummer being awake.

“What a nice way to wake up.” Teased the man, scratching himself up.

As a reward he was hit in the face by a pillow.

“I’m gonna call Ben and the girls. We need to tell them the truth.” Debbie sounded exhausted, and as she walked to grab her phone, Roger reached to grab her hand.

“Don’t you dare.” Roger was serious, and he straightened up in the bed, his move forcing Debbie to sit up as well. “Ben needs to have his head in the wedding. And our family has to be there to help him, not to break him.”

“We’re not gonna break him.”

“Please, Debbie. Just wait. After the wedding.” His blue eyes never showed as much strength to her as they did in that moment.

Debbie was tired, but so was Roger. They hated to show to the world a lie. The couple of blonds wanted to be free, to be themselves, but up until now they couldn’t. From time to time Debbie called Roger out, asking him to end this shit, but the man always found reasons not to do it.

Too easy for him living this way.

A knock on the door interrupted their conversation. Roger set Debbie free as soon as the door opened, showing Ben smiling to them. “Morning.”

“Hey, kid.” welcomed the drummer.

“Please, don’t tell me you two are fighting too.” Ben walked into the room, sitting in a chair at the far corner, and when he saw the curious look on his father’s features, the blond actor added “Joe just texted me. Mrs Deacon didn’t react very well to his dad’s reveal.”

Debbie and Roger glanced briefly at each other. By the way of his husband’s eyes she knew what he was going to do.

“We are fine, my love.” Debbie smiled widely. “Actually we have an announcement to make.”

•••

John asked Joe if it was okay for him to come inside his house. The ginger just shrugged and said “The one who should ask this is right there.” And Joe pointed back at the living room.

Veronica was watching the news when she looked around and saw John. The brunet saw a glimpse of sadness on his wife’s expression. “Can I talk to you?” and he received just a nod as answer. But for him it was enough.

He walked to the living room, and sat next to Veronica, who turned off the TV, giving him her full attention. John suddenly didn’t know what to say – how to apologize for something he didn’t feel sorry for?

“Ronnie, I know we should be honest with each other.” Began John, looking down to his own lap.

“And I was always with you.” The woman’s tone was accusatory, because he didn’t do the same with her.

“It’s...I never wanted to remember what happened at that time. It’s too painful.” He said, his heart pounding in his chest.

“What was too painful? That you never said a word about being in Queen for your family?”

The man closed his eyes, and his mind got filled with memories: the rehearsals, the small gigs in pubs all over London and cities nearby, the conversations with Freddie, Brian and Roger while they were driving that uncomfortable old van, the discussions about everything – because they never agreed with anything, even about the colour of the sky – and especially how being in the band made him feel special.

When she noticed his husband wasn’t answering, Veronica added “Because you said you couldn’t remember why you quit the band.”

“Some teen memories are full of nostalgia, and I don’t like to feel nostalgic, that’s all.” He wasn’t lying.

But that wasn’t the real answer.

“Do you regret choosing us over Queen?” Veronica questioned, and by her voice the rest of the room could notice how afraid she was to know the answer.

And John could never say the truth to her.

“Being in this family is a treasure I can’t ever put out in words, Ronnie.” John touched Veronica’s hand, the woman accepting, and he squeezed it, looking into her eyes. A tiny smile showed up.

Joe felt a bit awkward seeing that scene. In some way they were talking about him, about the reason his dad married his mom. The ginger never knew the whole story, but he knew they had a one-night thing and Veronica got pregnant and John asked her to marry him. Even his parents never said it out loud, Joe sometimes thought he was responsible for their marriage.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you with my past. It wasn’t my intention.” John whispered, shifting closer, and he wrapped his other arm around Veronica’s shoulders.

“I know I overreacted –” Veronica wiped a tear quickly.

“You did not.”

“– but I don’t want to have secrets between us, John. That’s not us.” She continued, and allowed herself to rest her head on John’s shoulder.

The man’s throat hurt. Is it a good time to tell the rest of the story?

But before John could open his mouth the doorbell rang. Joe frowned; he wasn’t expecting anybody, but he went to open the door. And he got surprised when he saw the person that was standing there. “Mr Taylor?”

John was wearing a smile, but it quickly dropped after hearing that name.

“Hi, Joe. Are your parents here? Your brother Cameron said they were.” Roger smiled politely, and Joe nodded. “And what I said about you calling me ‘Mr Taylor’?”

“Please, come inside, Roger.” Joe gave space for the blond to get inside.

Roger went to the living room, finding the couple on the couch, his eyes landing on their linked hands.

“Ben just told me about the argument and I kinda feel responsible.” Roger started, with a husky voice.

John looked over at Joe – he never liked sharing his personal life with anyone, especially not now with his former bandmate – but his son just said “I like to share my problems with my fiance.”

Ouch.

“But why do you feel responsible, Roger?” Veronica looked puzzled at the Queen drummer.

“Because I pretended that I didn’t know him in front of you. It’s his secret, so I didn’t have the right to come out and spill it.” John rolled his eyes at Roger’s comment; he was still a joker. “And I want to talk with you, John.”

First, John looked to Roger, then at Joe and finally to his wife. And there was something on Veronica’s features that made him say “Anything you want to tell me you can say it in front of my family.”

Roger showed a hard smile. A bold move of him, but whatever.

“Ok, then.” Roger took a chair and sat in front of the couple, closer to John.

He needed to take a deep breath; he needed to remember he wasn’t doing that for him or for John. He was doing it for Ben and for Joe.

Pride wasn’t something he could choose to have now.

“I don’t remember why the fuck we fought and why I hit you in the face, and right now it doesn’t matter. What matters now is that we’ll be family.” Roger put his hand on John’s knee. “And if you say yes, we can forget all the drama and be mates again. Like nothing ever happened.”

A bunch of things crossed John’s mind: that he forgot how much of a touchy person Roger, always with his hands over him; how many lies Roger had said in less than a minute; and that he knew how Roger and himself couldn’t pretend that anything had happened between them.

But most importantly, the realization that they would be in the same family. The thought had already popped in his head, once, during the night Joe proposed, but now it just came back and slapped him in the face. He was going to be Roger’s son’s father-in-law. Roger was going to be the father-in-law of his son.

 _So fucking insane_.

It was comical how Roger was looking at him without cracking up. He was being damn serious, but he couldn’t believe a single word he had just said. That was definitely not the Roger he knew, and John was pretty sure he hadn’t changed that much.

“Are you sure you can be around?” John raised his eyebrows, trying to make Roger understand what he meant without saying the words. “I mean, you’re a bit...”

“Stubborn?” Roger smirked. “Yeah, I still am. But I propose that we go out to have a talk. A real and honest talk.”

At that he gave John’s knee a squeeze. A movement so subtle that only them two noticed it.

“Besides we just rented a house in town.” At his words, Roger saw John’s chin drop.

“You did what?” John’s mouth went dry in an instant.

He couldn’t be serious. John didn’t have neither the strength nor the nerve to deal with Roger Taylor for so long. He imagined they had to have the talk they just had, said their goodbyes and just see each other again at the wedding.

Having Roger around couldn’t be a good thing for him.

“I thought it’d be good for us, because Ben and Joe will need help with the planning and all, and Debbie is amazing with it.” Roger explained, tilting his head. “Ben loved to know that he’ll have his sisters around.”

“But what about their schools?” asked Veronica, curious.

“They have personal teachers.” Joe answered that. “They’re models so it’s easier that way.”

John looked over at Roger. He was well fucked.

“So? Do you accept to go out with me just for us to settle things?” Roger stood up and offered his hand to John.

A weird feeling grew on John’s stomach; something about all that wasn’t right. He didn’t have to deal with this feeling for decades.

‘For Joe and Ben’ was what he thought before he took Roger’s hand and shook it. “I do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is pretty long (longer than IDWMF), so I need to know if you think I should keep going with it


	13. Chapter 13

“What do you think?” It had been a while since Freddie heard the anxious tone on John’s voice.

The brunet videochatted with the Queen frontman in his office. It was more private than talking at home.

He chickened out. He still wasn’t 100% open-hearted with Veronica.

John had always liked Freddie’s advice; he did before and he did now. His friend was wiser, more than he thought himself could be. And he was definitely wiser than John.

“I think it’s a good start, dear.” Freddie spoke, in his hotel room. “Besides, you two really need to stop this feud, indeed. It won’t help at all. And it’s been twenty-two years, John. He’ll let go.”

John balled up his hands in fists, pressing his fingers painfully. Would John let go though?

“I’m not sure, Freddie. And I don’t like to not be sure of something.” The brunet spilled out.

“Roger has a lot of flaws, but he loves his family, so if Ben needs you two to get along, he’ll do his best to achieve it.” Freddie said honestly.

And he saw John hiding his face in his hands; Freddie saw a scene similar to this one before, when John had to confess to Brian and Roger that he had knocked up a girl. John came to him first, crying, not knowing what the hell to do. And now, Freddie had the impression that John didn’t have any idea how to behave normally around the Queen drummer after being apart for too long.

“When will you come back to England?” John changed the subject out of the blue, trying to make his anxiety lower down.

“In two weeks. I miss my Jim.” Freddie gave him a passionate smile, and John smiled back. He met Jim once when the couple came to America, and he had trouble to like Jim at first – Freddie gave his heart in a silver tray to many wrong men along the way that John got a bit overprotective of his friend – but he saw Jim really loved Freddie as much his friend loved him. “But Brian will stay longer. Anita will come over to Roger’s house.”

In that moment, John got a text from Roger – yes, now they had each other’s numbers, what a progress – saying that he had arrived and it was better that he met him in the entrance, not to make another commotion. He bit his own lip. It was time.

“It’s him, Freddie. Wish me luck.” John muttered, nervous.

“You got along once. You can find that way again.” Freddie smiled and ended the call with no more words spoken.

That that was John was afraid of.

\---

_The gig was amazing and John felt it was one of their best. Freddie, Brian, Roger and him decided to celebrate, and they drank too much. He felt they were lucky enough to have made it home alive, because Roger was the drunkest one and he was the one driving. But he managed not to kill anyone or themselves. Due to the fact that Roger’s flat was nearby, the four decided to sleep there, saving them time and risk._

_Climbing the stairs was a hard task, because they were hitting or missing the steps and giggling loudly after that. They didn’t know when but at some point Freddie started singing some opera._

_John thought he was sober enough to take care of his mates, so when Roger finally found the lock and opened the door, the bass player walked straight to the kitchen to fill three cups of water._

_“Mates, you need to drin–” but when he came back again to the living room he saw Freddie sitting asleep on the couch, snoring, with Brian sleeping with his head on his lap._

_He heard a weird sound coming from Roger’s bedroom, so he went there and discovered that the drummer was actually throwing up in the bathroom. The brunet felt uncomfortable about going in there; they weren’t friends enough to see nasty moments like that of each other. The blond was going to need the water, so he put the glass in the nightstand._

_When the sound was over, John cleared his throat and asked “Do you want any help, Rog?”_

_“Just help me go to bed. My legs are weak out of a sudden.” Roger sounded weak as well._

_John walked to the bathroom, finding the blond cleaning his mouth at the sink, and he smirked at him, like nothing even happened, only stretching an arm for John to hold him; the brunet doing it right away._

_He had a bit of trouble carrying Roger to the bed, even though it was a short walk, not because Roger was heavy, but because the drummer was leaning against him, giggling and exhaling all the beer he had thrown up just now. When he laid Roger down on the bed, he almost fell over him with the strength of the blond’s grip on him._

_“Roger, drink this glass of water, mate.” John handed said glass to him, the man was thirsty and drank it all in one go. “That’s it. Let me go to the couch before Freddie and Brian take all the spots.”_

_“Sleep here with me, John.” Babbled Roger, too tired to open his eyes to look at John._

_“There’s no room for me.” John wasn’t too fond of the idea to sleep in a small bed with his bandmate._

_Roger shifted in the bed until he reached the corner before speaking up again. “There. Plenty of room, mate. Come on, don’t be shy.”_

_The tiredness of the day hit the brunet and he didn’t find the courage to argue, so he just took off his shirt and laid down in the mattress. Roger lazily opened his blue eyes, scanning John’s face, and when the bass player was settled he smiled, proud of himself from convincing him._

_“You’re a good mate, John.” The blond murmured, weakly patting John’s arm._

_“You too, Rog.” John yawned and closed his eyes._

\---

They went to a bar that Roger said he found during his trips alone through the city. It was almost empty at that time, and for them it was for the best. John commented that Roger already knew the city better than him which made a smirk grow on Roger’s lips.

“What?” John frowned.

“Nothing.” Roger grabbed his beer that was just brought to the table and took a sip. When he glanced back at the brunet, he was still waiting. “Just memories.”

“Oh.” John flushed, drinking from his beer as well. And then he remembered something too. “ _Oh_.”

Roger nodded, feeling John’s thoughts were in the same place as his. He felt embarrassed; he shouldn’t feel this way. Twenty-two years and he still feel the same way when the rain came and got them wet.

“John.” The drummer calling his name made the man look up again. “I meant it when I said I want us to be okay. I don’t want us to be best buddies or something we can’t be anymore. But I want to know you, to know your life.” Roger held John’s wrist.

Blue met green. An awaited reunion. A long encounter. The shine got stronger on Roger’s eyes when John used the same hand to hold Roger’s wrist too.

His eyes looked down to the touch, and John could see his lips trembling. John felt bad to do that movement, it didn’t feel right with Roger. They promised to start over, but he had the ability to make everything more difficult.

John tried to slightly undo the hold, but Roger grabbed him tighter. “Don’t let go.” The drummer whispered.

He waited for Roger to have his moment. He saw his shoulders raising up and down a few times, the man taking deep breaths. If today was hard for him he couldn’t imagine how it’d been for Roger. The blond always was hot-headed but also very emotional. Roger giving him a truce was a big step for them.

“I wanna know about how is your life here, since you arrived. How it was to be in a different country and to build a life and a family in America.” Roger glanced again back to John.

And John obeyed. He talked for almost an hour about his life, since the beginning. He knew which topics he must avoid, making the monologue lighter. Of course, at some point Roger had some questions to make, curious to know about how Joe discovered his acting skills, or how old he was when he taught Luke to play bass and when Cam started his own youtube channel.

After the odd start, their chat was nice, with some laughter as well. Roger started to talk about Ben confessing he wanted to be an actor, even that he was a drummer good enough to replace him someday at Queen, how Rory and Tiger liked to customize their own clothing until they tried to do modelling and it worked for both of them. The blond also felt he shouldn’t talk about some things with John, to not change the mood, so he was fine talking about those things for now.

Beers came and got empty, some snacks eaten in between, and they finally started to show each other pictures of their children when they were kids. Of course they had those ridiculous photos. John kept a cute picture of his sons wearing a matching costume of The Three Musketeers, and Roger showed three blond children unwrapping their presents close to a Christmas tree – he was not religious, but Debbie was.

And then John was telling Roger a story of the first time he took his kids to Disney and they went to a scary roller coaster. They loved it but in the end the blond man had to find the nearest trash can and vomited in front of his sons, which made Roger laugh loudly, his whole body shaking in the process, moving backwards and then forwards, to rest his forehead on John’s shoulder.

John needed a couple of moments to realize how close Roger was, the drummer noticing his action just when he touched John’s skin. The blond sat back, sitting straight on his chair, looking quite embarrassed. Was he crossing a line there?

Always touchy, needy, _affectionate_ Roger Taylor.

“We had a good life, right?” pointed the drummer, smiling fondly.

“Yes, we did have.” John nodded.

“Do you miss Queen?” what a stupid question he just made.

“I do. Every single day.” John shrugged. He promised to never talk about it, and now he was breaking another promise.

“This weekend it’s the house warming party. Just us, Freddie and Brian. Bring your family. We can jam a little. It must be a little lonely playing your bass alone.”

Roger knew John would never play again in another band. More than playing music, John liked the energy the other people that played with him exuded.

He still knew him, after all.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting the year with a nice chapter :)

The house, of course, it was a mansion. Enough rooms to acomode Ben’s and Joe’s families to the wedding reception, and Roger and Debbie confessed that that was what they thought when they rented the house. They wanted the wedding to be held there, now that the grooms said they didn’t want a wedding at a church, which smashed Debbie’s and Veronica’s hearts, but they accepted either way.

Joe and Ben loved the place and didn’t wait to ask them to have it there twice.

But one thing that also made Roger want the mansion was that there was a mini studio in the basement. It was one of a kind. Roger asked the Queen staff to deliver his drums from London, which were there in a week.

Debbie said there was a really nice pool in the yard, so if the Deacons wanted to swim, they could bring their swimming attire. They were making a nice barbecue, ‘just like the americans’.

But the only thing John could think of was about him with Freddie, Brian and Roger, the four of them together again. He felt like an idiot holding his bass case with a small amp. On these days, Luke used the bass more than him.

When the Deacons arrived and was greeted by Brian, the curly-haired man welcomed John with a warm smile. “Deaky, it’s like traveling at time.”

“Stop it.” John got red with the comment.

“Are you nervous?” Brian asked when everyone got inside the house, leaving the others behind. John just blinked. “We didn’t play together in two decades, so not being in sync is the minimum we can hope for.”

“Thanks for the reminder.”

Already in the yard, Cameron walked over to talk with Tiger and Rory, while Joe went to Ben to kiss his fiance. The blond smiled during the peck as he saw Luke rolling his eyes. Most of the time he didn’t complain about it – only because he was Joe’s brother and they should get along – but the kid was bloody awful.

“Is he gonna be like this every time we are together, Joe?” asked Ben, looking back at Luke.

Joe didn’t understand at first, but he saw who Ben was looking at and he sighed. “Someday he’ll get over it.”

“Are you sure? Because I’m not too thrilled about having someone at my wedding sending bad vibes to me and my husband.”

“Honestly, with the last events in our families, Luke isn’t my prior concern of the day.” The ginger caressed Ben’s hair.

“Do you think they are really okay now?”

“Dad said they showed our childhood pictures to each other.”

“Oh, God.” Ben giggled.

“I think our dads are finally getting each other.” Joe smiled, leaning in to kiss the blond again, but they heard the sound of someone falling in the pool, and a strong splash of water hitting them both.

They got surprised, but they soon saw Luke emerge from the pool, a smirk on his lips.

“Luke, you’re not ten!” exclaimed Veronica, irritated. “You can get into the pool like a normal person!”

“More fun like that.” He just said, and he turned around where Tiger, Cam and Rory were. “Hi, Tiger.” Luke said, winking to her.

“Hi, homophobe.” Tiger said, annoyed.

“I heard that you’re bi. Cool.” The boy showed a naughty smile.

“Now are you sexualizing me?” she gave him the middle finger. “Just stay away from me.”

\---

At that point almost everyone was in the pool, minus John, Roger, Freddie and Ben. The younger blond was chatting with Freddie about what he was planning for his ceremony – the singer and Jim got married merely two years ago, so he could have some tips for him – and Roger was just listening to them. John was quietly putting on sunblock, humming some song, and he saw the Queen drummer smirking.

“What?” asked John.

“This song. It’s quite familiar.” Roger sounded sassy, and John just rolled his eyes.

“Shut up. It still plays in the radio and I’m a passive listener.”

And with that John took off his shirt. Roger swallowed dry when he saw that as John had a fine body for a man in his forties. He was getting old, of course, it was not the same as before, but he was still in good shape.

“Ben, do you mind?” John asked, showing his back.

“Not at all.” The blond stood up and took the sunblock, putting some in his hand to spread over the other’s back.

Ben couldn’t not notice the big tattoo his future father-in-law had close to the shoulder – and it was quite a surprise; he never imagined Mr Deacon being a tattoo person.

_I want to hush headlong into this ecstasy_

Something on this phrase was ticking on his head. He knew this from somewhere, but right now he couldn’t remember from where. And then he remembered the song Joe’s father was humming during his talk with Freddie. A light turned on in his head.

“That’s my dad’s song.” Commented Ben after he finished his work. John turned around, frowning, and the actor clarified “On your back. That’s a verse from Breakthru, right? Queen’s first hit.”

“Oh my God, you’re right!” exclaimed Cameron, who just got off the pool, looking at his dad’s back. “I always wanted to know what this tattoo meant, but dad never said.”

Roger, who was talking with Freddie about Queen business, was overhearing the conversation since Ben said something about one of his songs. His eyes found John’s, and the man looked scared. Roger stood up and walked to see John’s back, and in the moment he saw the phrase tattooed on the man’s back he recognized the song.

He touched John’s back, his fingertips brushing over the skin.

“That was my idea, dears.” Everyone turned to see Freddie speaking. “After Breakthru becoming a hit two weeks after the album release, Brian, John and I were drunk and promised we would make a surprise for Rog, getting a tattoo with the song lyrics.”

John and Roger shared a look. Freddie could be so persuasive when telling a lie.

“And this sentence was strong, because it’s our first album, we could be big.” Freddie smiled brightly. “But I guess poor John believed so much in a drunk promise.”

“Then why you never tried to remove it?” asked Ben, politely.

“Too painful.” John replied, willing to sustain the false story. “Now if you excuse me, I need to grab some water.”

The brunet walked to the cooler to grab a bottle of water, still too nervous with the moment. He was so used to the tattoo that sometimes he forgot about it. And he only really remembered it when he heard the song that inspired being played on the radio.

He was so mindless that he didn’t notice Roger walking to him until John turned to grab his bottle. “Fuck, Roger.” The blond was staring at him without blinking, so John questioned “What?”

“When?” his voice cracked. And because John looked confused to him he added “When you did the tattoo?”

“A day before the fight.”

“And why did you never remove it?”

“Honestly? Because it reminds me that everything wasn’t a dream.”

Roger wasn’t sure if he was talking about Queen only, and he didn’t want to be sure. So he just nodded and went to the bathroom.

\---

After lunch they spent some time in the living room, because it was cozier than being outside. Joe and Ben watched their families talking with each other – Rory and Tiger let Luke play some board game with them and Cameron – and both smiled proudly.

“Dad, I heard we’ll have a private concert today.” Commented Joe, his head resting on Ben’s shoulder.

Joe and Cameron (and even Luke, but he wouldn’t ever admit it) were excited to see their father play with the band. Ben, Rory and Tiger weren’t as thrilled as them; of course, they could watch Queen whenever they wanted, and maybe because they were so used to it that they didn’t get the chills anymore when they watched their dad playing the drums.

“We just got lunch, Joe. I don’t think –” John started but he was cut off by Brian.

“I’m ready, mate.” The guitar player smiled. “Roger? Freddie?”

“Let’s do this!” Freddie shouted, standing up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot happened here


	15. Chapter 15

A discrete tingling was present on John’s hands. He hadn’t felt anxious since the day Luke was born, but, of course, the anxiety right now was different in some way. He was going to play with Queen, twenty-two years since the last time that happened.

He heard from his sons multiple times that it makes no sense playing bass in his house alone, and Luke, the one who he shared the interest of the instrument with, said he should find some guys so they could play together. John knew he could find those guys, especially working in a music managing agency, a drummer, a guitarist and a singer, but none of them could be Roger Taylor, Brian May or Freddie Mercury.

Queen ruined music for him forever.

The mini studio was small but pretty good for a home studio. Brian and Roger were testing the acoustics and Freddie had already tested the microphone when he walked close to John with a smile. “Are you okay?”

“I am, Freddie. Thank you.” John nodded, humbly.

“Guys, just be gentle with us.” Requested Brian. “John didn’t play with us for so long, so not being perfect as it should is normal.”

John looked at Veronica. She seemed happy to see him play again, and she waved at him; Roger seeing the exchange.

“What song, then?” asked the drummer, playing with the sticks over his fingers.

“I like ‘Ride the Wild Wind’, dads.” Said Rory.

“Do you remember it, Deaky?”

“By heart.” John was too focused on adjusting his bass the right way and plugging it on the amp that he didn’t see the smiles on the faces of the other three.

The Taylor family but Roger found interesting seeing John licking his index and middle fingertips, but the rest of the room didn’t bother; the brunet never liked to play with picks.

John took a deep breath, his heart was speeding up; somehow he saw himself ready to enter a stage ain London with Queen again. He could hear Freddie warming up his voice, Brian clapping to take the stress out and a whisper from Roger on his ear.

He looked to the others and nodded. He was ready.

Brian started, with a small guitar riff, followed by John, and Freddie positioned against the mic singing the first verse. When Roger banged his drums, the bass player finally realised they were really playing together.

Of course it wasn’t perfect. Freddie, Brian and Roger changed their ways to play and to sing the song, while John was playing it by the way he had learned, years and years ago. Sometimes he turned around to watch Roger play; they were the rhythm section, so they should care more about if they are on sync than on how Brian was playing and Freddie was singing.

Ironic, huh?

Roger was so used to play this song, one of Queen’s first album’s hits, that at these days he just knew the moves without thinking much. He felt John’s eyes on him, sometimes paying attention to his playing so he could tune in the same beat, sometimes looking back up at him. He allowed to shoot a smile or two at him, John smiling back.

Some things didn’t change: the drummer saw that the brunet still had the tic to shake his head according to the beat, sometimes tapping his foot. But Freddie and Brian smirked when they saw John moving slowly to the flow of the music.

“Your dad is dancing.” Whispered Tiger to Joe, finding it amusing.

“I’m seeing that.” Joe whispered back, a bit surprised.

John was lost in the beat; he could feel the blood running through his veins, like he hadn’t alive like this for so long. He was just surviving, and even when he knew it was a selfish thought, the brunet didn’t let it destroy his vibe.

At the guitar solo, John went closer to Brian, the two playing in front of each other, the curly-haired man smiling proudly at him. And at the final part, in the drums part, the bass player turned around to appreciate the view of Roger doing what he did best. And to finish up, Freddie pointed to the crowd, who just shouted “Hey, hey, hey!”

The room was filled with claps, the acoustics making the sound appear bigger than it was. Freddie and Brian bowed to their viewers, Roger shouted, still excited and John just breathed like he just ran a marathon.

John rested his bass in a stand next to him and put his hands on his face, half smiling, half gasping. An ocean of feelings were drowning him right at that moment, and he was afraid to collapse in front of everyone. Before he could do anything else, he felt a hand pushing him into a hug. He only realized who was hugging him when he heard a soft voice saying “You did great, Deaky.”

“I did not, Roger. I barely stayed on tempo.” John was blushing.

“Fuck tempo. You didn’t play with us in ages, and you still look like a natural.”

“Neil is an amazing bassist, but he’ll never be like John.” praised Freddie.

John asked where the bathroom was and Ben indicated the way to him. The brunet was taking deep breaths, trying to contain himself, but when he reached the bathroom and closed the door, he muffled his mouth and cried.

He hated himself, because he felt great at playing again with Freddie, Brian and Roger. He felt great with jamming with Roger, with sharing looks with him and to be in sync, to watch him drumming. He felt great being with Queen again.

_The rehearsal was, by far, the best one they had. It was like they were meant to play together, and Freddie mentioned this twice today. Even Brian, who was really hard to compliment the band, said they were good. Roger claimed they could rule the world one day, and he was ready for the fame._

_John giggled at his bandmates’ enthusiasm. He was not that excited to be famous; getting some money with Queen and having the three guys in his life was good enough for him. And Roger knew how low the bass player’s expectations were. “Don’t be so humble, Deaky. You can think bigger.” Said Roger, as he drove John home._

_“What did you just call me?” John raised his eyebrow. He never had a nickname before._

_“Deaky. Did you like it?”_

_John thought for a few seconds. “I can live with that.”_

_“Oi! Don’t be so excited, mate.” Roger giggled. “But, seriously. Queen will be famous, and you’ll be in every bass specialized magazine. You’ll see.”_

_“Ok.” John simple replied as he jumped off Roger’s van. “When the day comes, I’ll thank you for the prediction.”_

A knock on the door made John get out of his memories. He turned on the tap and threw some water on his face. Another knock. “John?” Veronica called him.

“Yes?” John answered.

“Are you okay?”

_No_. “Yeah. Just a bit tired. It took off all my energy.”

“Too bad, because the kids are asking for you to play another song.”

John opened the door, his face wiped off the tears, and he smiled. “Ok. I guess I can play one more.”

Veronica took his hand when John started to walk back to the studio. “I like to see this smile on your face.”

The brunet wondered if he ever wore that smile for her.


	16. Chapter 16

The visit of Rami Malek, Gwilym Lee and Lucy Boynton was unexpected, but welcomed. Even though Joe and Ben talked with them basically everyday in the small group chat they did during The Brokeback Mountain filming, they missed their friends’ daily company. And now they were really focused on the wedding planning, they could help them.

“What do you mean you didn’t hire an agency?” Lucy was shocked. “Are you mad?”

“We just want a small wedding. Fifty people tops.” Ben defended himself.

“We thought we wouldn’t need to hire anyone.” Joe bit his own lip. Of course they were wrong.

“You two are nuts. My wedding only will be at the end of the next year and Dana already has an agency helping her.” Commented Gwilym.

“Did she not ask you to help her?” asked Rami, confused.

“No. She said that my only concern is to be at the altar at the right date.”

“At least she knows you.” Teased Lucy.

They laughed with it. It was nice to have them around. Unfortunately, with everyone’s agenda, Joe and Ben knew they’d probably see their friends again at the wedding ceremony. But they’d enjoy the few days they had together.

The Taylors front door was open, to reveal John and Roger talking non-stop about one of the first gigs they did, where apparently Freddie tried to sing a high note and lost his voice. It seemed too be very funny, because the pair was laughing with enthusiasm. 

Joe looked to the scene having an odd feeling. He didn’t say anything because he prefered to keep this to his own – ‘to not jinx’ as he said to himself – but it wass just...weird.

“Ben, would I be selfish if I say that it’s more normal for me when they’re fighting?” the ginger whispered to his fiancee.

The blond actor looked at his father and future father-in-law and frowned. “Why do you say this?”

“I don’t know. Dad was never too open with anyone, not like this.”

“He’s just trying to make up for the time they lost. This is nice, don’t you think?”

“Hi, kids.” Greeted Roger, with his charming smile. “Trying to help those two grooms?”

“They are hopeless, Mr Taylor.” Joked Rami.

“Dad, I guess you didn’t meet Gwilym yet.” Joe came closer to his friend, who stood up from the sofa to extend his hand to John, the man grabbing it and shaking it politely. “Gwilym, this is my dad, John Deacon.”

“Nice to meet you, Gwilym.” John smiled to the tall man. “Joe made good comments about you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Mr Deacon.” Gwilym smiled back, and for some seconds he looked to Joe and then again to John, maybe debating internally about something. After some seconds of silence the brunet said “I must say your bass riff on Liar is remarkable.”

John’s cheeks got red, Roger finding it quite interesting how the blush looked so good on the man, – but not saying out loud – the brunet looked to his son. “You didn’t keep your mouth shut, did you?”

“I didn’t talk with the press, if that’s your concern.” Joe smirked.

“Oh, now I’m relieved.” 

“Knowing John, he wouldn’t survive a day.” The Queen drummer poked John’s side, who looked back with his eyebrows up. “Okay, let’s let the kids alone.” The two men walked to the home studio.

Rami looked to them until they disappeared and looked back to his friends. “They didn’t look like you said to us.”

“Oh, that’s because you weren’t here in the middle of the storm.” Spoke Joe, Ben nodding.

\---

Rory didn’t have much to study that day, and she was too exhausted to see Joe, Ben and their friends talking about cakes and chairs and other wedding stuff. When she’s about to go to the kitchen she heard some noises coming from the mini studio, she walked to the booth, the mirror covering her, and she smiled when she saw her father and John jamming together. To be honest it was more her dad watching John playing the bass that anything else.

“Hi there.” Called Debbie. The woman walked in. “What are you doing here?”

“Just watching dad and Joe’s dad playing together.” Rory said, excited.

Debbie starred at the mirror. Roger’s smile was brighter than ever, even through the opaque glass.

“John’s bass was here since that day when we all had lunch together.” Rory stopped to think properly. “I guess he’s here almost every day, right, mom?”

“He is, indeed.” Debbie put her hand over her chin, looking straight to the men.

\---

Inside the studio, Roger was lost over the vision of John fingering his bass. He had the thought that with the years the man would lose his cleverness with the instrument, but he had clearly been wrong. John still knew pretty much how to play, and amazed him every time he stopped by to jam a little.

“You’re spoiling me, Rog, letting me play in this studio.” John spoke in a low tone, his ears burning.

“Better than playing at home, without the proper acoustics, am I right?” smirked Roger, slapping softly the other’s back.

John nodded, still feeling awkward with the situation. A month ago they were barely speaking with each other, and now he was going to Roger’s house like they...

_Like they were friends._

They were now. Sort of. He still asked many times during the day when he could stopping by and if Debbie wouldn’t bother, Roger always saying it’s okay. 

Actually John was giving him something to do during the days when Freddie was away. They were about to start the writing process, and they liked to do it when they were together. The singer promised they’d be in America next week. Until there the drummer’s head would explode with ideas.

About that, he called John, making the man stop playing and look to him. It was still a bit hard for Roger to look to those eyes. Fucking grayish-green eyes.

“I’m writing a new song, and since Neil isn’t here to help me with the bass riff I was wondering...” Roger kept the question in the air.

“Still terrible asking for help, Taylor?” teased John.

“You just need to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’, Deacon.” The drummer played along.

“Just give me the lyrics and go to the drums.” 

Roger gave him the lyrics – in the top of the paper was written ‘Rock it (Prime Jive)’ and the blond sat behind the drums.

Now was the time for John to watch. Roger positioned the microphone close to the drums, so he could drum and sing. He still had on his memory of Roger singing, the peachy voice that went on high notes, a thing the blond had very pride of.

Of course, with plus twenty years, Roger’s voice couldn’t reach notes as his young self, but in the beginning of the song the blond started to sing acapella and John noted how good his voice still was. A bit more husky, but still good for the ears.

The drumming started and John payed more attention to the beat, trying to imagine the right riff to get together with it. Of course both parts of the rhythm section were important, but John knew Roger was asking him to follow the drum beat, not the contrary.

It was different. John hadn’t needed to deal with for years. Just for fun he created some bass riffs, when he was fooling around alone at the weekends. Luke even asked for some help with some basslines for him, John gladly assisting him, feeling himself useful. But now it was another thing – his riff ideas could be in an album. A Queen album.

He could feel the blood running through his veins, the excitement building up in his body, and it looked like his brain was working on his maximum. The possibilities were popping in his head, and in a second he was discarding some of them with the next beat Roger was producing. His fingers started to move, not really touching the bass strands, but mimicking the notes he needed to product.

When Roger finished the song John was still working, his mind getting back to the beginning, trying to imagine what he could do. His ears were buzzing, even that the noise of the drums stopped.

“John?” he only heard after the third time. And Roger smiled. “You’re really far gone.”

“Sorry, I was thinking. Can you...?” John extended his hand, looking to Roger’s pen on his pocket. The drummer grabbed it and handed to the brunet. “I was thinking of the bass starting here” John marked the page, above a word “with some similar pauses, and coming again here, here and here.” 

Roger heard John’s energetic tone, like he was enjoying very much to help him.

Maybe that was the problem. Because John _really_ was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Debbie...jealous?


	17. Chapter 17

  
Freddie finally came, and he took Jim and Anita with him. The couple and Brian’s wife were more than welcomed on the Taylor's house, and Roger begged during the first dinner of the Queen members together – where only the adults were because Tiger and Rory was with Ben in a siblings movie night – they could start the writing process and the choose of the songs.

“I’m really bored here.” Claimed the blond.

“If you helped me with planning, you wouldn’t.” Debbie pointed, with a grin.

“Your taste is better than mine about those things, honey.” He blowed her a kiss.

“I wasn’t informed you were bored here, dear Roger.” Freddie said, before drinking a glass of water.

“And what were you informed?” 

“That you’re passing too much time in the studio.” 

Roger and Freddie shared a look. The singer knew too much, and the drummer wasn’t ready to hear his worries about his renewed friendship.

“Debbie never lost her taste for gossip.” Commented Roger.

“To be fair, Roger, I was worried too. You’re too close.” Helped Anita. 

“Me too.” Added Jim.

Yes, Debbie, Jim and Anita were so fucking closed, just like their partners.

Brian sensed his friend was about to have a tantrum when he raised his voice. “What everyone is thinking is if it’s really okay to be so attached with John just now. You were apart for two decades, Rog, and now you’re inseparable. Veronica must have noticed already.”

“He’s not complaining.” The blond just shrugged.

“ _Exactly_.” 

Roger was tired of this. First they were complaining about their arguing, now they were complaining about they’re together. What the hell they wanted anyway? 

They were doing this because of Joe and Ben, and now they must do what? Go backwards and just ignore each other? Roger thought he could, but right now it was impossible.

John was back in his life. And this time it was for good.

“I need some rest. Mates, you know your rooms. Good night.” Roger put his napkin on the table, and before anyone could stop him he stood up and walked to his bedroom.

A couple of hours later, Debbie got into their bedroom, and found Roger reading a book. He was too into that he only noticed her when she sat on the bed.

“Look, if you’re starting with all that again...” warned the drummer.

“I saw you two at the studio some times, by the booth mirror.” Confessed Debbie, with no shame.

“Spying on me, honey? It’s not your type.” 

“Oh, give me a break, Rog. You know why I was there.”

He hated to know why she’s there. It was pretty obvious, and to be fair he knew the whole talk would be had at some point.

He knew he couldn’t be too close to John, or else bad things could happen. Things he’d never forgive himself. Or worse: more punches could be exchanged by them.

“I know it’s nice to remember the times you two played together and such, but it’s no turning back, Rog.” Debbie grabbed Roger’s hand, squeezing it.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Roger snorted, bitterly. “But it’s nice to be someone for him, you know?”

Debbie wanted to say that he was already someone for John – his future son-in-law’s father – but she didn’t have the heart to it, so she just nodded.

\---

“I’m really excited to meet Brian’s and Freddie’s partners.” Commented Veronica, combing her hair with her hands. “I mean, at least I won’t be alone with Debbie.” John frowned, and Veronica completed “She stares too much.”

John smiled and rang the Taylors’ house’s doorbell. He was excited too, but for a different reason as Veronica; Freddie and Brian could finally hear the riff he imagined for Prime Jive. He got back his bass to practice at home so he could find the perfect complement for Roger’s drumming, and he thought he got it.

“It’s nice that you and Roger got along.” Veronica said in a light tone. John looked to his wife, not knowing if he should say something or not. “I mean, I’m not thrilled that you came here so often after work, but still.”

“Sorry, Ronnie.” John blushed. Fuck, he was getting too obvious. “It’s just...”

“I know. You two are finding each other. It’s nice, dear, it really is.” 

And during the small peck Veronica and John were sharing, it was the moment Roger decided to open the door. The couple jumped over the appearance, Roger didn’t look happy for some seconds, but he restored the smile again.

“Hello, folks.” Roger said, opening more the door and resting at the side. “Come get inside.”

John introduced Anita and Jim to Veronica, letting them talk when Roger called him, Freddie and Brian to the studio. 

\---

The brunet was nervous. He just played with Roger his song, now with the bass riff included. Freddie and Brian whispered things to each other during it, moving their hands and nodding sometimes, and he could swear he saw Brian looking to him and Roger and smiling about something.

“What do you guys think?” asked John, his heart beating like crazy.

Freddie looked to John and then to Brian just to look back to John again. And in the end he smiled “It’s wonderful, darling!”

John breathed out, letting the anxiety get out from his mouth, and he looked at Roger, who winked to him.

“Did you do this riff only by yourself?” Brian questioned, curious.

“Yeah, yeah.” Nodded John, still too electric to control, his own body. “I always creat some riffs, just for me, you know, so it wasn’t really hard to do something now.”

“So...Shall we start to think together, right? I must say that I see myself singing just the first part, Roger. What do you say?” Freddie turned to glance to the drummer.

“Fine by me.” The blond said, happy with the idea his voice staying in this track.

“So let’s work, mates.” Called out Brian.

They spent two hours talking about the song, Freddie and Brian giving their contributions, Roger saying how he pictured their parts, and John staying out of the discussing.

_As John didn’t contribute with any songs to the gigs, he thought he shouldn’t be in the middle of the arguing. Yeah, he’s the quarter of the band, but he liked to be the bassist stereotype – the quiet lad who’s helping the rhythm part. And, to be honest, sometimes he got bored with Freddie and Brian arguing about guitar solos and which song comes first._

_“It’s like a cat fight.” Whispered Roger, out of nowhere._

_“You scared me, you wanker.” Shot John, looking at him from the couch._

_“Sorry, princess.” Roger jumped from behind the couch so he could land next to John. “When will you stand up and say to those two to shut up? I know you’re annoyed with it as much as I am.”_

_“It’s easy for you to say. You know them for years. I’m still the newest guy.”_

_“You always will be the newest guy, Deaky.” Smirked Roger, making John roll his eyes at him being a smartass. “But don’t worry. Freddie already liked you, and Brian thinks you’re the best bassist we ever had. So you’re not going anywhere.”_

John knew what he was feeling was wrong. He shouldn’t feel that great about playing with his former bandmates, to wait impatiently to go to Roger’s house to jam with him, like he was in a real band. He shouldn’t hate that his life didn’t have music enough for his own consideration.

Yeah, he worked with music, in a agency that discovered artists from times to times. But it wasn’t what he wanted. Being behind the curtains, just watching the things being done never was his thing. He’s shy, but he never was a passive person.

So seeing Queen creating was like bondage for John. A pain that he wanted so desperately to feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second turning point is coming soon


	18. Chapter 18

For a weird luck, all the boys were out, so Veronica thought it’d be a nice moment to have some quality time with her husband. 

So, she wore a dress she knew John liked a lot and made his favorite meal, and even though she knew she didn’t need to seduce her own husband, it was nice to make a dinner just for the two of them.

She even texted him and asked John to come straight home. At the moment, he was too close to Roger Taylor and always spent at least 30 minutes at the Queen drummer’s house before going home.

“What’s this about, honey?” John asked when he came home, looking at the home-made dinner and how fancy his wife was. He gave her a kiss in the cheek before he rested his bag on the couch.

“Oh, nothing, John.” Smiled Veronica, arranging the food in the dinner table. “Just want to enjoy some time with my husband, can’t I?”

“Thank God.” The brunet let out a relaxed gasp. “I thought I forgot an important date.” They both laughed.

As always, John didn’t talked much during dinner, enjoying the good food Veronica made and only speaking to compliment the hard work Veronica did. 

A buzz on his pocket made John look to his phone. A text from Roger.

 **Roger Taylor:** Something happened? You didn’t show up.

John typed fast; he knew Veronica didn’t like to be replaced by a phone, specially when it came from him.

 **John Deacon:** Sorry. Ronnie made a special dinner today. I will go there tomorrow :)

John felt weird after he sent the text. He was not an emoji man.

 **Roger Taylor:** Oh. Okay.

 **Roger Taylor:** See you tomorrow.

The man never liked to analyze texts, but those ones seemed dry. Did he make Roger sad?

“Something fun there?” asked Veronica, making John look at her again. She was wearing a passive-aggressive smile, and John instinctively locked up his phone and put it on the table.

“Just Roger asking why I didn’t go there today.” Answered John, starting to eat again.

“He’s a grown man. He can live a day without you.” Veronica spoke in a soft voice, almost giggling.

After the dinner they went to the living room with a bottle of the finest whisky they had. John asked how was for Ronnie meeting Jim Hutton and Anita Dobson; he had never questioned what his wife thought about them.

“They are nice.” Veronica said after a long silence. “Jim likes to listen more than to talk, and he laughs a lot, and Anita is very sparkly. Also they seem to be pretty bonded with each other, it’s really nice.”

“Freddie and Brian were really worried they don’t get along with you.” Commented John, taking a large sip of his drink.

“That’s okay. You know me, it takes me a little to open up with someone, but we’ll get there, I’m sure. I can see why Freddie and Brian love them.”

“What do you mean?” John asked, a bit curious. 

“Well, Freddie is very enthusiastic, and Jim is a person that slows him down, while Brian is very chill, so Anita can put some adrenaline on his life. That’s how people say: sometimes the opposites attract each other.”

The brunet man thought of it. Was that sentence right all the time?

“I mean, just sometimes, since I think we are pretty similar.” Veronica glanced to John.

She took John’s glass and put hers and John’s on the table, before she placed a kiss on her husband’s lips. It started as a very long peck, and then John realized Veronica wasn’t moving away, so he landed his hands on her neck, opening his lips to deepen the contact.

John let her guide the kiss, leaning many times on him, growling sounds of pleasure. Then she put his hand over her breast. With it, John pushed her to sit on his lap, making out with excitement. Her dress lift up, and he could feel Veronica rutting against him. Her mouth left his and started to kiss John’s neck, biting slowly the skin. Veronica’s hands went to the buttons of his shirt, undoing them as fast as possible.

And then the woman noticed something; Despite the fact that John was kissing her here and there, she wasn’t feeling the same enthusiasm on his other parts. She kept moving on his lap, let a gasp out her mouth when John squeezed her thighs, and she asked “Do you need help?” and she looked to his pants.

“Just give me a minute.” John said between a kiss and another.

Even the man wasn’t understanding. He was enjoying making out with her, so why he was not getting hard?  
With Veronica out of his lap, he unbelted his pants, unzipping it quickly, and started to manipulate himself, as fast as he could. Veronica tried to help, whispering things on his ear.

After some minutes his cock wasn’t showing signs it’d harden.

“Let me...” Veronica took off John’s hand to replace for her own.

Her hand was softer but still firm as John’s, and she kept kissing him, doing everything she could to make him feel good, but after some time working out, she realized it wouldn’t make any difference.

John’s face was burning with shame. “Maybe it was the alcohol?”

“Maybe you just need to take a pill.” Veronica said, condescendantly.

“A what???” now the man’s eyes wided up.

“That’s totally fine. Men on your age –”

“‘Men on your age’? Are you calling me old?”

Veronica giggled softly, but it wasn’t the right time, because John just growled and got up, doing his pants again. “Sorry, John. It’s just...It’s normal. At some point you’d need it.”

“I just got on my fourties! It’s not normal!”

“I’m not a doctor, I don’t know when it started, but I bet it isn’t in the same age for every man. Maybe it just came earlier for you.”

John just blowed out and sat again in the couch, Veronica hugging him. On the first times he had sex he came too early, and now he couldn’t even manage to get his dick hard? He was really living a man’s nightmare.

“Don’t worry. I can text the boys and ask them to sleep on Joe’s and we can try again. How does this sound?” Veronica gave him a peck and then rested her head on his shoulder.

\---

Of course Roger would laugh.

John really didn’t know how he had confessed this to the blond. This man didn’t change a bit.

The brunet was at the drummer’s house to compensate for the night before, where they didn’t see each other. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss being at Roger’s studio, playing with him.

Twenty-two years without exchanging a word and now they couldn’t be apart for a day. How adorable.

When John arrived Roger had asked him if today was an important occasion for them, and for some stupid reason John felt he could have an advice for the drummer without Roger mocking him first. 

John waited for Roger to finish the moment, but everytime the older man looked to the other he restart to laugh, hurting the brunet’s pride more and more.

“Ok, I think I’m leaving.” John got up, grabbing his bass with him.

Roger stopped quickly and ran to be in front of John, to not let him go. John’s face was rigid, still mad with his friend’s reaction.

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry. It’s just...It’s funny, you can’t deny it.” Roger made his best to not laugh again.

“It’s not funny when it’s yourself.” John cut him off.

“Sorry again. But...Did this never happen with you?”

John didn’t want to discuss his sex life with Roger. Ok, getting advice was one thing, but opening up with Roger was way deeper. And John didn’t know if they were ready to be this kind of friends.

Maybe Roger sensed John being defensive, because he said “You don’t have to say it, but this happens when you start to get old. We’re not twenty-something anymore, to misfire every time.”

“You shithead!”

And this time they giggled together, with Roger singing the lyrics of John’s song that was never released, but that Roger liked to joke about.

“I can’t believe you still know the lyrics.” John hid his face with his hands.

“It’s a song too good to forget.”

“What song?”

They two looked to the door and saw Freddie smiling at them. He and Brian were with their partners shopping and they just went back, and when John arrived Roger said to the brunet Freddie asked for John to wait until they come back. Even though he asked four times to Roger what was the reason, the drummer didn’t say a word.

“Misfire.” Roger was still wearing a cocky smile, and John rolled his eyes.

“Oh, I love this song. So catchy, just like the theme of it.” Teased Brian.

“I hate all of you.” John said, but still smiling to them.

Freddie looked to Roger, who couldn’t tear his eyes apart from John.

“Roger said you wanted to talk with me about something.” The brunet looked to the Queen frontman and guitarist.

They two shared a glance with Roger, the blond nodding, and then Brian sat in the chair next to John, and with his softest tone, he started to talk “We are making a new album, you already know this.” He saw John nodding. “And we will record it here.”

“Which is crazy, since this is far shorter than ours in London, but this bitch is making us.” Freddie pointed to Roger.

“Because I want to be around to help Ben and Joe with the wedding!” Roger defended himself.

“Yeah, yeah, sure.”

“Anyway” Brian spoke a bit louder, to make himself be heard. “we have been thinking a lot, and we kinda wanted you to play in this album with us.”

John who was, until now, smiling politely to them, got caught off guard, surprised. He looked to the three men in front of him, all of them with a encourageous expression on their faces.

“I mean, you already will, since you made the bass riff for Prime Jive, and this is a good song for this album.” Added Freddie, when he saw John getting lost on his own mind.

Roger saw it as a window and he said “And maybe, if you want to you can go ba...” but before he could finish, Brian put his hand on his shoulder, and mouthed “Don’t”.

By the look John gave to the blond, he understood; maybe John wasn’t be ready to be in Queen again. Maybe he would never be.

John was deep in his thoughts, thinking how life could be if he did something musically again. 

It was too good, but also too bad. He still didn’t get up again for the only time he tried.   
  
So his first question that pops out his mind was “What about Niel?”

“Everyone in the band but us has a contract, that only tie them with Queen during the album making and the tours, so they are only on Queen when we call them.” Brian explained with calm. 

“So we can call Niel only to the tour, since I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like to play live again.” Freddie looked a bit sad, because he knew how John felt about it.

Roger really wished John had said something else, but the brunet agreed “Yeah, I wouldn’t.”

The drummer’s hand caressed John’s arm, squeezing a little, before he spoke “You never lost your touch, Deaky, and even though I really like Niel, we had never found a bass player like you.” 

John looked at him, and Roger saw a sparkle glowing on those eyes. “That’s why we want to play with you again, so can you please just give it a try?” 

John never imagined he would hear Roger talking like that to him again. This took him to a memory, never so vivid like right now, and his heart ached inside his chest. He shouldn’t say yes because deep down he knew he would get hurt at some point, by music or by Roger. 

But there was no other answer to give.

“Ok. Just give me a few days to say to my family and to reschedule my agenda.” and with it John received the warmest smile from the blond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think about John's...issue?  
> And you welcome :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big chapter just because :)

Joe, Ben and Lucy were on a cake store specialized on wedding cakes. The blonde actress said Rami and Gwilym were talking with their agents for new projects and they couldn’t be there, but Lucy was glad his boyfriend wasn’t there.

“So, boys, I was wondering what do you think about this?.” Lucy took a small box out of his purse.

The couple gasped, surprised, looking to the golden ring on the box and then looking back to their friend, who seemed emotional, tears rising on her eyes.

“Sorry, Lucy, but I’m already engaged.” Teased Joe, making the woman laugh.

“Please, you’re not even my type.” The blondie replied, cleaning her face.

“Lucy, of course Rami will say yes. He’s over heels for you. He was kinda annoying during the movie, stealing my fake wife when we should rehearsal our scenes.” Ben smiled, nodding.

“But, please, put this ceremony in a two years spare. Next year is Gwil’s and we can’t handle so many bachelor parties.” 

They were still laughing when the cakes came. That was one of the most difficult parts of the whole package, because Joe wanted a simple and modern menu, while Ben was asking for a traditional and fancy one. And the cake was at the top of their priorities right now; how the two little grooms in the top would be made it was the less of the problems.

The couple and Lucy were eating small portions of delicious cakes (to avoid getting full so quickly) when Ben got a notification of Tiger’s Finsta. He heard Joe saying how good the blueberry jam was on his cake when Ben’s cheeks got red of anger.

“Joe.” The blond called his fiancee, and without saying more he showed the picture to Joe, who gasped, and Lucy frowned when she saw it too.

“Is that...?” she asked, shocked.

“I’m gonna call my parents.” And Ben stood up, going outside.

\---  
  
Veronica was having a really good time with Debbie, Anita and Jim.

She never had many friends, even when she was at England, and having a full-time job as staying-home mom of three, she only had time for a book club, that could take her away from home sometimes. But even still she felt it was not the same.

So she was quite lonely.

And now she had three people to talk about anything. It was weird for her, specially because at first she thought Debbie was too close to her, even physically. But after all their husbands’ drama, they were good, and with Anita and Jim addition, Veronica could feel a light in the the air.

They talked everyday, by messages or personally. Anita was a wine person, always inviting them to go to some restaurant to try a new vintage wine. Jim liked to garden, enjoying to go to Veronica’s backyard and dream about the best species to plant there. Debbie was too focused on the wedding, always adding something on her list and sending or showing to Veronica, so the woman couldn’t feel left out.

Summarily, they were a good and diverse group.

But Veronica still had some questions.

“So how do you deal with your husbands’ fame?” she asked, during afternoon tea (she never could give up of this tradition). 

“It’s fine. Some paparazzis here and there, but they never answer any question about their families.” Replied Anita, before eating a biscuit.

“Ok, that’s not true, because Freddie talks a lot about our cats.” Jim smiled, proud. And with this he showed to Veronica a hundreds of pictures of their cats.

“Roger is the one who likes to expose more, because he likes to be the rockstar type.” Debbie shrugged.

Veronica felt a bit of resiment on the blondie’s statement, and after some seconds debating if she should ask, she questioned “Did you want him to be different?”

“Not even for a second, but he knows that being too public can have consequences.”

Now, more than ever, Veronica felt something was wrong, because the other three shared a look. But maybe it was just the outsider feeling; she couldn’t expect to feel like them so quickly.

Jim looked to Veronica energetic again and said “So, Veronica, I didn’t know exactly what John does for living.”

“Oh. He works in a music business company. Helping the company manager to find new artists.” She answered, glad to lighten the mood.

“That sounds fascinating. Like a doctor helping a child come to the world.” Anita commented, with an awe.

“Actually he does the hard work: listening the demos, watch some auditions, and make the reports to send to his superior. All the glory goes to him, not John, but he prefers it that way, as he says.”

Veronica doesn’t want to talk out loud, but John never felt that way; he looked like her father at the end of each day, coming back from the factory: tired and lifeless. She had always asked him to find a new job, because he had worked in the same place for more than twenty years and he didn’t have much ascension in the company, however, he said he couldn’t leave.

But, after discovering about John’s past with Queen she could understand: something happened there to make him feel he deserved that limbo.

John wasn’t miserable on Veronica’s eyes, no. He loved his family and to spend time with them, and he liked to read and to play video games in the weekends with his kids, but…

She saw a different sparkle on his eyes while he had been playing that day with Freddie, Brian and Roger. And she saw an energy between John and…

No, no. She was just getting crazy. Damn, she should’ve agreed with Anita and buy wine instead of tea.

“Oh-oh. Someone is far away from here.” Sang Debbie, and she smiled when Veronica blinked in confusion to her. “What’s up in your head, dear?”

Veronica smiled back. “Just thoughts.”

“Care to share?” 

But before Veronica could think of sharing her thoughts or not, Debbie’s phone started buzzing, and she answered. “Hi, Ben. Shouldn’t you be...? Wait, slow down. Ok, ok, I’m going home, but can you at least...? Ok, son, I’m coming.” Debbie ended the confused call and looked to her friends. “It looks I’m in a big trouble.”

\---  
  
Roger was with Freddie and Brian in the studio, each one showing some ideas for the album. The drummer said he was writing at least five songs in the moment. For his friends that was impressive.

“You weren’t so participative with the song writing since the first album, Rog, I must say.” Pointed Freddie, with thoughtful eyes on the blond man.

“I know.” Roger looked away; he knew his friend’s intention.

“Can you imagine what’s similar between those two albuns, dear?” insisted the lead singer.

“I cannot.”

“Roger, we know you well enough to know when you’re lying.” Brian commented.

The drummer was about to give a sharp reply to his friend when they heard a loud bang in the front door. Whoever wanted to enter the house sounded angry.

The three men walked upstairs, Roger going to open the door, finding a furious Ben looking at him, Joe on his side, wearing a worried expression. “I thought today was the cake day.” He was intrigued.

With a good timing Debbie was just arriving on her car, going out quickly. She looked as confused as her husband. 

“It was, until I saw this.” Ben showed his phone screen, a picture of Rory and Tiger. Debbie just came next to them and looked closer to the photo.

“Are they vaping?” Debbie made a rhetorical question, because it was pretty clear, since each one was holding colorful vape pens and a white smoke was getting out their mouths.

“Yeah, they are.” Ben went into the house, not knowing where he wanted to go, just that he was angry as hell with his parents. All that meant one thing. “Did you never talk with them about my problem?”

Joe looked anxiously at his fiancee, afraid of him having a breakdown. “Ben, calm down, please, babe.”

“No, I can’t, Joe, because apparently my parents never spoke a word with my little sisters that they should be out of drugs!”

“Benjamin, that looks like those fruit flavours vapes, they’re harmless.” Debbie tried to put some sense on her son.

“They are not! First is this, then actual cigars, and then weed, and then another drugs!” Ben gasped, outrageous. He never imagined he’d need to speak with them about it.

Roger was quiet, which is unusual. But he could feel he was feeling deeply guilty about it.

“Hey, son, we can talk with them about it, but they are teens, of course they want to experiment things.” Debbie tried again.

“Mom, what the hell are you saying? They can’t ‘experiment things’ like this, ever!” Ben’s green eyes were getting watery, and the first strand of tears rolled when he looked to his father. “Why have you never told them, dad?”

Roger’s heart hurt with his son’s voice. “I...I don’t know why.”

“You’re stupid, both of you!”

“Hey! You can’t talk with me like this, boy! I’m your damn father!” Roger pointed his finger to Ben.

That was the moment Joe realized he needed to interfere, so he put himself between the two blond men. Freddie and Brian went to Roger’s side, trying to calm him down, while Debbie was in the corner of the living room, crying in silence.

The ginger actor took a deep breath and said, looking from Ben to Roger “What Ben poorly tried to say is that Rory and Tiger are teens but also mature enough to handle a conversation like this. Especially if they knew what Ben had been through.” And he looked again to his lover. “Right?”

The blond drummer looked to his future son-in-law a bit impressed. Something about his calm voice and behavior during a crisis reminded him of Joe’s father.  
Ben needed some air to chill out again. He loved his father and his mother, but how could they not say to their two daughters that he had been on a rehab clinic?

_Joe needed a pizza, and not a really healthy pizza. He needed those ones with a lot of fat and cheese. He’d already had with his lactose intolerance pills, so he could eat as much as he want to. And he knew the perfect place for it._

_He was halfway there when he saw a blond man getting into a church. Joe was puzzled; he didn’t know Ben was a religious person, and even though he knew he shouldn’t peak his movie partner’s personal life he got curious after six more persons got into the church just like Ben, with a bag of food._

_The ginger parked his car and walked to the church’s side door (so he couldn’t be noticed at first), and then he saw everyone hugging each other and chatting, Ben remaining a bit away from everyone else, looking shy, and after some minutes they sat in circle. A nun showed a smile and said “Welcome, everyone. Everyone here knows that’s a safe space to talk about your day and your own struggles, even you’re catholic or not. I’m seeing new faces here, so I’d like to hear you first.”_

_Ben stood up with his hands on his pockets. “Hi, my name is Ben, and I used to use heroin and cocaine, and I’ve been clean for six months. I guess that’s all for tonight.”_

_“Welcome, Ben.” Everyone in the circle spoke in one time and gave a single clap._

_Joe opened his mouth, surprised. Ben looked so healthy and such, but it looks he has his own monsters as anybody._

_\---_   
  
_The day after Joe was on set, next to the food table, talking with Gwil about their last scene, because he thought he wasn’t good enough, and they should ask for another shot. Then he saw Ben getting next to the table too, taking a sandwich, and for some reason he got nervous._

_Gwil said he needed to text his girlfriend and let them two alone. Joe thought he should say something._

_When he turned around to talk with Ben, the blond spoke first. “I saw you last night.”_

_Joe got off guard. “What?!?”_

_“Last night, at the church.” Joe tried to form words, and it seemed amusing for the other actor, who just continued “You’re ginger, mate. You can’t be hidden.”_

_“I’m so sorry, Ben. I wasn’t there to gossip about you.” Joe got nervous, wanting to explain everything._

_“I know.”_

_“But that’s also okay if you want to, you know, talk about it with me.” Joe bit his own lower lip. “I mean, I’m not a support group, but I’m a good listener.”_

_Ben smiled. It seems he’ll have a great partner at this movie._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not in self-isolation yet bc the mayor doesn't want to :))))   
> But I think in April I will go home and then I will write more  
> So pls be safe and all the writers will provide some good stuff during this pandemic


	20. Chapter 20

“Your wedding story sounds like a movie!” chanted Cameron, on the dinner table.   


Joe thought it’d be better to talk to his family about what happened earlier over dinner, at his parents’ house. John was wanting to tell them news too, and accepted the invitation.   


“Hey, and what happened with your head, Cam?” asked Joe, seeing a purple bruise on his brother’s head.   


“Oh. This was...I fell over today at class. You know me, I’m clumsy.” And the boy turned his attention again to his food.   


Then the ginger actor eyed his other brother, who’s just eating his smashed potato and rice quietly, which is unusual. “Are you okay, Luke? Cam’s just commented about my wedding and you didn’t throw your plate against the wall.”   


“Joe, don’t poke at him.” Asked Veronica, tired with this feud.   


John looked up at the exact moment Luke gave a scary look to Joe, but the teenager didn’t say a word. The man thought that maybe it was time for another talk with his youngest son.   


“Can we, please, talk about something more light?” Veronica tried, after some moments of silence.   


“I have some news.” John cleared his throat, and four pairs of eyes stared at him. He was nervous, even though he didn’t need to.   


It was nothing too serious, so he didn’t have to be afraid. After all he’s an adult, he could do whatever he wanted with his life. But that’s not the problem. What’s really worrying him was what came after speaking.   


Because it’d make everything real. Him being back with Queen would be real.   


And everything he worked so much on, to build his life could turn into dust in a blink of an eye.   


“Brian, Freddie and Roger made me an offer to play with them in their next album. And I accepted it.” John spoke, trying to be neutral.    


Veronica blinked to him, in shock, like she never saw this side of her husband before. Her sons were puzzled, a bit intrigued with the upcoming news.   


“But you never looked interested to play again.” Commented Cam. “Dad, you never played in another band.”   


“And coming back to Queen looks a little...too much.” Added Joe.   


“Relax.” Smiled John. “I’m not going on tour with them. It’s just bass riffs, that’s all.”   


“John.” The couple looked at each other, and John sensed the worry on his wife’s face. “Are you sure it’s a good idea?”   


_I know it’s not_. “It’s just to chill, to remember the old times. A friends’ reunion, nothing else.”   


He knew Veronica would comment more later, because she only wiggled her eyebrows, unbelieving, and restarted to eat. With no more remarks, the dinner continued.   


John was scared as hell with the unknown problems that his choice could contain, but with the same strength he felt a force pulling him to play again with Freddie, with Brian and with Roger.    


The sonic volcano would have a rebound. Musically, of course.   


And John waited for Veronica to go to bed and Joe to go to his own house so he could knock on Luke’s bedroom’s door. He hated all the times he had to have this conversation with his son, especially because he never thought he’d have to have it. But before he could wonder again what happened with Luke to go to the wrong side, John heard a “I’m busy.” from the other side of the door.   


“It’s me, Luke.” Called John.   


“Oh, gosh.” Groaned in a low tone for the boy, but John heard it anyway. And in a louder voice he added “Come on in, then.”   


John entered the room with a plain expression. Luke was laid down on his bed, his laptop on his lap, and the older man heard a man talking about Greek History before Luke paused it.   


From all three kids, John knew Luke was the smartest – of course he never said it out loud. The boy worked hard in class and he’s always one of the best of his grade. That’s the condition his parents made for him to play in a high school band. Luke’s band was good for a high school band; the members were average, maybe because none of them besides Luke was craving something professionally.   


John sat in a chair, in front of Luke, while he stayed sat on his own bed.   


“I see you’re trying to make an effort to not fight with Joe.” John started. “And I’m proud of you, but it looks like it isn’t enough for you to change your mind about his marriage.”   


“Not this talk again!” whined the boy, looking for his earphones.   


John noticed him trying and caught the earphones before Luke. “Yes, this talk again. Because, Luke, in this family we don’t turn our backs on anyone. That’s not what we taught you.”   


It was clear that Luke was uncomfortable, and he had something to say about it but he didn’t want to. Eiterway, John understood he would speak at some point so he waited for him, patiently, and as he grew up in their house Luke knew his dad wouldn’t give up easily. John stayed there, calm and unshakable.   


“Dad, you don’t understand what I need to hear at my school.” Luke claimed.   


“So help me to understand.” Interjected John.   


Luke rolled his eyes, knowing it’s a lost battle. “They joke about Joe’s movie. Because he was naked, and made out...with another man.”   


“Did you support your brother?”   


“Dad! People would think I’m gay too!”   


“Are you?”   


“No!”   


“Then what are you worried about?”   


Luke looked down to his own knees, closing his hands on fists. He knew his father wouldn’t understand him.   


“People stopped to make fun of me because I’m british just now. I got popular now, people know me, so I don’t want something to happen for me to lose it.”   


“But these people you want to know you will be out of your lives in a couple of years. But you will be brother of Joe and Cam forever. So choose wisely in what team you want to be on.” John leaned to kiss Luke’s forehead.   


With this he got up and got out of the room, leaving Luke with an awkward feeling in his stomach.   


\---

  
Ben was in the kitchen with Roger, waiting for Rory and Tiger’s class to be over, so he could have a serious talk with his sisters. Meanwhile, his father said his news about John playing in the new album with Queen.   


Roger imagined that his son’s reaction would be more enthusiastic than it was.   


“Did you not enjoy the idea?” asked Roger, still surprised with the lack of emotion from Ben.   


“No, dad, I think it’s great.” Nodded the actor. “Mr Deacon is a good bassist and it looks like you four have a great chemistry together.”   


Chemistry. That’s a word Roger didn’t hear about him and John for a while. He forced himself to not smirk.   


“So what? You’re not thrilled with the news either.”   


“I’m just...a bit worried.” Ben frowned, trying to pick the right words. He knew his father’s temper, especially when it was about Queen. “You two restarted to get along just now. Maybe it’s a too forward step to make?”   


Roger’d be lying if he said he’s not worried too. Being around John was a ticking bomb, and if he didn’t push the right strands everyone around them could explode.    


He needed to be careful this time, because now they weren’t the only ones who could get hurt with it. Ben said about being too forward...but at the same time Roger wanted to be more forward.   


“I’m not saying it isn’t nice to see Queen’s original formation, I’m just saying to you both be careful, you know?” Ben complemented.   


“We didn’t force him to accept, son. He’s doing it on his own will. Besides we probably won’t have the same opportunity again.”   


“Now you sound like you’ll die after my wedding.” Ben giggled.   


“Maybe, because you’ll live permanently here, and will forget your old father here in England.”   


“Now we know where Ben got his acting skills.” Laughed Rory, getting into the kitchen with Tiger.   


Tiger was putting an apple on her mouth when she felt Ben’s eyes on him. He was hearing a serious glance, that one he wore every time he wanted to lecture her and Rory.   


Even with their parents as a constant presence in their lives, Ben always had a soft spot in their hearts. He was the best big brother anyone could want for: fun, supportive, who made adventures with them and never got tired with the tea parties and make-up moments. He knew how to talk with them, even being more old than them and was the best confidant of his sisters.   


“Uh, uh, Rory. I think we are in trouble.” Said Tiger, still with a mocking tone.   


“Yes, you are.” Ben crossed his arms, nodding.   


“Go talk with them in their bedroom.” Advised Roger.   


Ben knew that being a big brother meant he needed to lecture his sisters sometimes – of course he’d have to do that sometimes, they’re teenagers, they made mistakes. But in general they were good girls and they didn’t get into too much trouble. But right now he needed to have a real talk with them.   


To be honest he wished that his parents did this before because he wanted to avoid the expressions the blond knew Rory and Tiger would wear: surprise and disappointment. Ben knew how they would think of him, as someone perfect, flawless. And break this misconception would be hard for him too.   


After all, reminding them about all these horrible years, that he wasted almost all his teen years with meaningless feelings of freedom, was still hard for him. But only this way he could help his sisters not to go to the same way.   


He cried during the talk with them, saying how much he regretted letting the drugs control him like that, to make him go to a clinic to clean himself. He wanted to talk about the overdose that almost killed him, but the actor didn’t have the courage to.   


“I know people say that’s just vaping, but it’s not.” Ben wiped the tears from his face. “Please, promise me you will never put this in your mouths.”   


Rory went to the bedroom wardrobe and took two pink filters, walked to Ben and handed it to him. “Take them. We won’t use them again.”   


“I know you’re smart.” Ben smiled, opening his arms, and Rory and Tiger hugged him.   


“Of course we are.” Said Tiger, making all three of them laugh.   


They talked a bit more, now about lighter stuff, and Ben said he needed to talk with their mother, and went out the room.   


Tiger waited a moment and opened the bedroom door, to see if Ben was really gone, and she shut the door one more time, looking surprised to see her sister. “Ben really thinks we didn’t know about all this?”   


“I guess.” Rory shrugged. “I mean, he spent six months away and he thought we never noticed? He’s nuts.”   


Tiger crouched next to her bed and took out a box from under it. “So what are we going to do with this weed? Throw it away?”   


“Of course not. Weed can’t hurt us like cocaine hurt Ben. We’re good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teens are stupid


	21. Chapter 21

John had a day off and wanted to have lunch alone with Veronica, and maybe try again at some action – since the last few weeks were disastrous – but she was with the Taylors. 

He giggled by himself; she complained at first but now his wife was at their house all the time.   


Both had excuses for it, of course.   


When he parked his car in front of the Queen drummer’s house, everyone already knew about him coming, and he was greeted by Freddie, saying that everyone was waiting for him to eat.   


Debbie and Veronica were focused on the blondie’s tablet, looking for cigarettes for the grooms, and John kissed his wife’s forehead. Ben and Joe were close, trying to be included; the actors liked to joke about it.   


“I’d like to have an opinion about my own wedding, you know?” teased Ben.   


“We’re trying to filter the better options, dear.” Veronica said, still with her eyes in the tablet.   


“But how do you want to pick chairs if you didn’t choose the flowers yet?” meddled Freddie, serious. “Do I really need to enter in on the wedding planning force?”   


“Oh, that’s true. The flowers need to match.” Debbie bit her lower lip, recognizing her fault.   


“It’s one of the first things Jim and I chose in our wedding.” Freddie showed a nostalgic smile, recording the day. “Helps to choose the rest.”   


“By the way your wedding was flawless, Freddie.” Pointed out Joe. “I mean, I wasn’t there, but I saw the photos on the internet. You have great taste.”   


“I knew you’d think that. After all you chose my godson, which shows the good taste you have.” Freddie winked at him, making the couple laugh.   


Brian and Anita showed up in the living room, the guitar player had a suffering expression. “Are you going to eat or not? I’m starving.”   


“You’re always starving, Brian.” Jested John, with a smirk.   


“Shut up.”   


Finally the group went to the kitchen table to eat, part of them still discussing Freddie’s wedding (Joe being the only one who wasn’t physically there) and the rest of them were listening to Roger complaining about the USA’s weather.   


“It’s always sunny and hot.” The blond man said between a chew and another. “We’ve been there a couple of times, but not long enough to realize it’s annoyingly hot.”   


“Don’t be so whiny, Roger.” Anita waved her hand. “In two months it will be more cold.”   


“Two months? Oh god!”   


“Then why don’t you go back to England, Roger?” John asked in a playful tone.   


They shared an intimate look. At this time Roger didn’t feel attacked by John’s words anymore – they were in another moment of their...The drummer didn’t want to name them. But he knew they were better than before.   


“Are you trying to get rid of me, Deaky?” Roger went along with the teasing.   


That stupid nickname.   


Brian and Freddie (who was, still now, focused more on his wedding talk) noticed John’s cheeks get redder over his old nickname and they quickly exchanged a knowing glance.   


“I’m just thinking about the best for you.” John defended himself, still smiling.   


“Too bad for you, but I’m not going, because I don’t trust you three with making this album without my supervision.” Roger said, shamelessly winking to the others, making John giggle.   


“More than 20 years of partnership to hear this from you. Cheers, Roger.” Brian showed the middle finger, and the table burst in laughs.   


\---   


With all the discretion he could, John was calling Veronica to go home, but the woman was more interested to talk about the dancing rehearsals Ben and Joe should have, pointing out that her son wasn’t the best dancer and he should use some practice to not embarrass himself during the couple’s waltz. The ginger man strongly rolled his eyes when Ben engrossed his future mother-in-law’s comment.   


Seeing he wouldn’t have what he wanted today, the brunet man got closer to Brian, Freddie and Roger, who were talking about the band’s finances, and how they should talk with Miami about the new album’s art. Almost all of the songs were already made, so they had the album concept, which helped the art department to show some ideas to  them.   


“I remember that John helped with the finances in the first album.” Called Brian. “He was always calling us out about ‘stupid expenses’”.   


“Because it was stupid indeed.” John said, raising his eyebrows. “Giving floppy disks for the crowd. You were out of your minds.”   


“We are smarter now, Deaky.” Promised Roger, with a laptop in front of him. He took it from your lap and stood up, going to the kitchen. “Brian, I bought that apple juice you like so much.”   


“And why did you say that just now, mate?” The curly-haired man got up too, going to the same room.   


John sighed, sitting next to Freddie. The older man noticed something under the small act. His friend looked tired, even though most of the time today he hid it very well.   


“Something is bothering you, dear?” asked Freddie.   


He looked to Freddie, thinking if he should say, especially with Veronica so close to them. So he shifted a bit more and answered in a low tone “Veronica. As much as I liked our day here, I wanted to be at home by now. To enjoy a bit of my day off with her.”   


“Oh.” Freddie’s face lightened up, and then he giggled. “Straight sex. I see.”   


“Shut up.”   


“I imagined that having two of three kids at home can make things harder to happen. That’s why I only have cats.”   


“You’re unbelievable.” John slapped Freddie’s shoulder, gushing. “But...Let’s say we’re not getting along that much lately. In this area.”   


“Why?”   


John got red in a second. Why did he start this topic anyway? “I...I can’t.”   


Freddie covered his mouth, out of words. With some seconds he found courage to question “Since when, if I can ask? I mean, you remember when was the last time?”   


With a quick working out, John said “Two days before that barbecue here. When we played Ride the Wild Wind.”   


There’s something on Freddie’s expression that John couldn’t clearly read, like his friend could see something that he wasn’t able to. Before he could ask Freddie about it, his phone rang. An email from work.   


He was still in the middle of the e-mail when his phone died. John knew his boss was being stressed these days and could be very annoying if he didn’t point out he received the email right away. And then he looked to Roger’s laptop.   


“Roger, can I use your laptop to see my emails?” John was already grabbing the laptop; he thought he could based on how Roger never was selfish with his things.   


“Of course, Deaky.” He heard the drummer yelling from the kitchen. And in ten seconds he screamed “No!”   


The whole group could hear Roger running back to the living room, and everyone but John looked to him when they heard the noise. John stayed still.   


Roger’s laptop was opened on the man’s own email. And John didn’t even want to look at it – he never was a nosy person – but before he could open a new tab, something caught his attention. An email with the subject ‘John Deacon’s monthly paycheck’, sent by the band manager, Jim Miami.   


He clicked on the email. It wasn’t sent to Brian or Freddie or anyone else. Only to Roger.   


Ten slow seconds.   


John looked to Roger, who looked terrified to him.   


Something hot and dark started to boil inside of John, and with shaking hands he closed the laptop, putting it on the small table in front of him.   


“John.” Called Roger. By the face John was wearing he saw it.   


Fuck. Just now when they...   


“John.” The blond called again, in an almost-crying tone.   


“Please, explain.” John’s nostrils are large now and he’s buffing.   


“It’s just...Look, I...” Roger felt his lips trembling, knowing he couldn’t explain shit.   


“What’s going on?” Joe looked from Roger to his father, and then to anyone else who could answer his question.   


“‘John Deacon’s monthly paycheck’? Every month I receive an email from the band’s manager about my part of the first album’s royalties. But he sent to you and only to you about my paycheck too. So something is odd here. Why did he send this to you?” John got up, arms crossed.   


Some people in that room knew that body language, especially Veronica and Roger. John was highly pissed.   


Roger glanced at Freddie and Brian. They knew he was fucked, but it was time to let John know.   


“Say to him, darling.” Encouraged Freddie, and Brian nodded.   


Back to John, the brunet stayed the same, and Roger felt his stomach twirl. He was about to be sick.   


“Breakthru. Half of the song’s money is sent to you.” Roger swallowed hard. “Every month Miami signalized to me that the transition was made.”   


The realization hit John, his face showing how shocked he was. The man was feeling betrayed, that’s for sure; years receiving money from Roger without knowing! But deep down, inside caps and layers of pride, there’s another and very different feeling.    


But John couldn’t let it rise.   


“I should have suspected it. I always thought the paycheck was too big, but I never imagined or asked why.” John rolled his eyes, annoyed. And then his eyes went to Roger. “You had the time to tell me this. We were friends again, you could’ve told me.”   


‘We were’. That crossed Roger’s heart more painfully than it shoul have.   


“I thought to tell you!” the drummer’s voice came out peachy, with fear. “But I know how you are.”   


“And how am I, Roger Taylor?” everyone could hear the impedent tone from John.   


His eyes were dark, his eyebrows curved down, making him look pretentious. Roger never liked this side of John.   


“You’re a stupid arrogant man that would never accept the money if you knew where it’s coming from!” Roger spoke each word louder than the last one, and in the end he was yelling.   


“Dad!” warned Ben, making the two men look at him. Maybe for some moments they forgot they weren’t alone. “You can’t talk with Joe’s father like that. With _my_ father-in-law.”   


“Veronica, we’re leaving.” John passed Roger without looking.   


“No, we are not.” Veronica said.   


John looked back, not believing his wife wouldn’t back him up on this. Maybe Debbie and Ben didn’t know clearly about the reason for the fight, but they were hiding it better than Veronica and Joe. The ginger actor was still with a puzzled expression, being comforted by his fiancee.   


“Ronnie...” John called her, in a smoother way.   


“No, John. You two can’t end things like that anymore.” Veronica was tough with them, staring from him to Roger. “We are family now, whether you want it or not.”   


“Ben and I can’t go back there, guys.” Begged Joe, with a sad expression. “We can’t.”   


John and Roger looked to each other again. There was so much resentment there, especially because of that song.   


That song that John haunted his dreams so many years.   


“One thing I want to understand, Roger.” Veronica spoke again. “For some reason I know this song is credited to you. Then why did John want half of the money?”    


For the first time since the beginning of the fight John wore a scared look. He started to think quickly. Which good excuse could he give to his wife and son?   


“Because” John could have broken his neck at how fast he looked into Roger’s direction. “he helped me with the harmonies and with the chorus.”   


“A bit too expensive chorus.” Joe sounded like he didn’t believe much.   


“Then, John, since you helped a lot in the song’s creation, why wouldn’t you accept the song’s money?”   


Yes, he helped a lot.   


_ But it’s because of the meaning, Ronnie. _   


“Because I don’t want his charity!” John couldn’t stay there. He needed to think properly, so he marched towards the front door and left the house.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More secrets...


	22. Chapter 22

The Queen drummer went upstairs to his room, to find some peace. Maybe a pill to help him to sleep without dreaming. 

He’s been chased even on his dreams.

But when he just took a pill his bedroom door was opened, Ben entering with a furious look. 

“Dad, what the hell? Do you want to blow up my marriage before it even happen?” Ben barfed, his fists hitting his own sides.

Seconds later Debbie, Freddie and Brian were there too.

“Can’t I have a second of calm in this house?” groaned Roger, shutting his eyes.

“Ben, let his father sleep a bit.” Debbie asked, touching her son’s upper arm, but he shook her off.

“I don’t. Dad, please.” With this Roger opened his eyes again. Ben seemed hurt. “Go talk with him. You two got along again, so it’s not over between you two.”

That’s the real problem.

“Benjamin, if I can give my opinion.” Brian spoke with his soft and polite voice, qnd the blond actor looked at him. “John won’t hear Roger with a clear mind. He will need a day or two to breath and to think about it. I can go and talk a bit with him.”

“Son.” Roger grabbed his son’s hand, and this time Ben didn’t shove off. “We are a family, and family fights all the time.”

“You fooled him, dad. That’s way different.” Ben clarifyed.

“I will apologize to him, don’t worry. You and Joe won’t be affected by us.”

“I hope so.”

The pill was already showing effect, and Ben, Brian and Freddie got out of the room, letting Debbie with her husband. 

Roger moved in the bed, trying to get himself more cozy, and with heavy eyes he looked at her.

“You two don’t learn a thing.” Commented Debbie, caressing Roger’s blond hair. “Being careless again.”

“What do you mean?” the drummer whispered. Right now it’s so hard to talk.

“Fighting like two teens! Anyone could cut the tension with a knife.”

“You’re crazy.”

Roger exhaled calmly, closing his eyes. Debbie kissed his forehead, worried. “I wish I was. But I know what I saw.”

\---

Joe was driving his mom to home. He could feel she was ashamed with his dad’s childish behavior, but there was something else in a bigger proportion.

“Mom, do you wanna talk about it?” asked Joe, worried with her.

His parents always were to private, even for their sons. Joe, Cam and Luke never saw them fight or arguing or even looking bad to the other, but the actor was way old to know that no relationship can be this long and not having any problems. Yes, he could describe his parents as the politest couple on Earth, but they must have issues.

And since Joe’s future parents-in-law showed up he discovered that they indeed had.

“Are you still mad with the whole former rockstar life of dad?” insisted the man.

“No, Joe. I barely remember this.” Veronica breathed. _Yes, she still remembers_ , once or twice, that her husband had a secret from her for too long, but she wouldn’t let this break her family.

They were happy, after all. _After this_.

“Then...?” Joe pushed a bit more.

“I don’t like how John reacts when it’s something related to Queen.” The woman confessed, and she slowly licked her lips. “It’s too deep, too personal for him. And now he will make an album with them.”

“I’m not sure about that. Not after this fight.”

Veronica snorted, almost laughing with the thought. “Your father is silly, Joe. He wants to play with them.”

When Joe stopped in front of his parents’ house, he turned to his mom, still overthinking. “Dad should call Roger. I can’t stand they fighting again.”

“They won’t, baby. They reconnected because of you and Ben, and they surely will do again.” Veronica kissed his son’s cheek and they got out the car.

When they entered the house, John was walking in the living room, clearly torn. He looked with the sound of door being opened and showed a weird smile to Veronica. Maybe he was scared that she should’ve got mad with what he did.

And she was.

“Ronnie, I’m so sorry. I just let myself be hit by the moment.” he walked to her, but when he was two steps to her, Veronica raised her hand, and he stopped.

“You should apologize to your son.” She pointed to Joe, who’s a bit scared, a bit sad with the situation in front of him. “You attacked his fiancee’s father, and I really don’t care if he’s right or wrong. You made mistakes too, and we already forgave you.”

John got back to his secrets. His wife knew...well, almost all of them.

“After we knew about your participation on Queen, I kinda understood why you had more money than your coworkers.” Joe spoke, a bit shy. “I mean, at first I thought it’d be some money from grandpa, but then everything made more...sense.”

“And we past that.” Veronica made it very clear. “But we can’t get back to the time when you and Roger back chat. I won’t allow it.”

“Me neither.” Assured Joe, firmly now. “And Ben won’t too.”

John shook his head. He ashamed his own family, arguing like a spoiled kid. He’s an adult man and he couldn’t forget that. 

But he knew why that hit him hardly.

“I’m sorry, Joe. I know I had a poor behavior in front of Ben’s family.” John moved closer to Joe and cupped his son’s face, almost tearing.

“Just don’t do it again, okay? I know you need some time to talk with Roger again, but promise me you two will be friends again.” Joe asked, suffering for his father, his mother and for himself.

“I’ll try my best.”

“That’s great, then.” Joe smiled again. “Now, excuse me, but I need to use the bathroom.”

The ginger man walked away to the commom bathroom, and John cleansed his face and he looked at his wife again. By the face she’s wearing, she still had some doubts.

Veronica let Joe disappeared to speak again “Look, John, just be more careful this time. I know you don’t want to hurt Joe or Ben.”

“I don’t.” nodded John.

“I just...” Veronica bit her own lip, indecided. “I just don’t like how you behave around Roger.”

John’s heart skipped a beat, and he could feel the air leaving his lungs. He’s probably dying.

“What do you mean?” he dared to ask.

“Roger is an amazing man, and I’m glad you two were talking again, but...He bring up your worse side.”

The brunet blinked, trying to absorve what Veronica was saying.

“He brought up the best of you, but also the worst. And that’s what I’m afraid of.”

That’s what John was afraid of too.

\---

Brian let be a reasonable hour for visit someone to go to John’s house. Anita went too because she wanted to chat with Veronica.

When John opened the door to him he looked like he didn’t sleep much last night, but soon he wore a smile to his friend and greated the couple, giving space for them to get in. John said to Anita that Veronica was in their bedroom folding clothing, and she could be free to go there, and the woman went to that room.

To be honest John expected Freddie to be there; he always were the biggest band conciliator, trying to see everyone’s point. But this time it was Brian – John couldn’t complain, because they were great friends and Brian knew how to calm down any situation.

“Roger sent you here?” John tried to mock about it, but to be fair he was missing him already.

Oh, God. Look where they were now.

“No, I came here for my own will.” Brian smiled with serenity. John envyed Brian’s halo, so peaceful. “You know, Freddie and I don’t like to see you two fighting. We never did.”

“I’m sorry.” John looked down. 

He realized how many times he needed to apologize since Roger came back to his life, how everything go upside down. Everything was calmer, some things hidden, so he didn’t have to touch it.

Now he have to.

“I never had trouble to keep our friendship in secret to Roger, even that I wanted you two to talk again. I just knew it wasn’t the time.” Brian restarted.

“I don’t think it’ll ever be a good time.” John sighed.

“Don’t say that. You two proved it wrong earlier, being good friends again.” Brian gave him an emphatic look. “You just need to talk. Settle things up.”

“Brian...” John shook his head to avoid the thought. “We definetly shouldn’t settle things up.”

“John, the past...”

“I don’t want to think about it. I can’t handle it...and he probably can’t too.”

“So just make the present better. Let him be around one more time.” 

The youngest man tilted his head, thinking. “Okay, I’ll try.” and with a harder look he added “Ronnie said Roger brings up my best and my worse.”

Brian smiled, knowingly. “And what do you think?”

John _definetly_ didn’t want to think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very keen with the idea of starting the fic over just to write more about the families' relationships  
> I kinda think it wasn't much worked out here  
> Tell me what y'all think


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, listen Rule the World by Take That and The One by Sir Elton John  
> Not just bc the songs are in the chapter and they kinda give the mood of it, but also bc are amazing songs (two of my all-time fav songs)

With Joe’s new project in the beginning, he’s having small windows to wedding planning, so he was using all the time he had to solve things out. 

In that week he, Ben and their parents would traine the wedding waltz at Ben’s flat. Also it’d be a nice way for John and Roger to see each other again and restart their friendship.

John was stupidly nervous about it, which was silly, since it’s not a big of a deal this encounter with Roger. To be more specific, Roger _wasn’t_ a big of a deal.

Or he wanted to believe that. 

Roger also begged for news from John for Freddie and Brian, but they didn’t get any. He’s in the dark once again. Maybe it was them saying to control himself and not being a prick as he was before.

He will at least try to.

The Queen drummer entered his son’s flat without asking, seeing the grooms talking with John, the brunet man smiling over some joke his son said.

Light, strong, John.

“Hi, dad.” Ben said over there, taking Roger out of his trance. 

The man waved and walked until them, smiling to them. Joe and Ben mutely shared a glance and gave some space for their fathers to talk a bit. John was sitting in the couch, his spine now curled, making him look smaller.

“Hey.” Called Roger, nervous. 

“Hi, Roger.” John looked up, finding Roger’s eyes again.

Clear, vicious, Roger.

“Can I talk first?” John blinked to get out of his dream, and he nodded. “So, John, I’m sorry, for that day. I shouldn’t as those things about you, and of course I shouldn’t hide about the paycheck.”

“I shouldn’t be immature either. We can’t act like that. I should stay and talk with you like an adult.” John said.

Roger’s hand reached John’s arm, a delicate yet firm squeeze made. John looked to the touch, in silence. “I just got a bit afraid of...Well, of losing you.”

The brunet felt his throat getting dry. Fuck, it was less than a week, but he missed Roger so much. His energy, his silly jokes...

His smile.

John wanted to say, for few feverous seconds, that he’d never lose him.

“So...We’re even?” Roger gave him a insecure smile, and John nodded, more chill. The blond exhaled, relieved. “Thanks, John. I’ll be sincere with you from now on?”

John bit his own lip. They _shouldn’t_ be sincere.

“Are you still up with Queen album, right?” Roger questioned, expectingly.

“Yes. I won’t give up.” John answered. Roger felt lighter.

“Where’s Ronnie?” asked the blond man, trying to started lighter.

“She’s with a flu. I asked Joe to reschedule, but he said we should at least not waste today.” John now scanned the room, and frowned. “And where’s Debbie?”

“Period. It gets her really bad, can’t get out of bed in those days.” Explained Roger, and in the end of the sentence he realized something.

And so John. “So that means...”

“Are you ready for the rehearsal? I already found the song.” Joe sounded happy, now that Bem’s father and his were good again.

“Joe, Roger and I are going to dance...together?” John spoke slowly, trying to show his point.

The grooms looked at each other and grinned mockingly. “Straight people.” Teased Ben.

“I know, right?” Joe laughed.

“It’s only because mom and Mrs Deacon aren’t here today. We’ll dance two songs, since we couldn’t agree only at one” Ben poked his fiancee, making Joe roll his eyes with the inside teasing “so both can lead.”

That’s hardly the problem.

The two pairs went to the space Ben and Joe emptied in the living room so they could dance. “This time is just for you two be okay around each other, and then we will say about the moviments.” Said Joe.

“Er...” Roger spoke, not having the strength to look directly into John’s eyes. “Do you mind if I lead in this song?”

“Oh.” It’s like John finally understood that it was real, he wasn’t hallucinating. “Yeah, okay.”

With some awkwardness, Roger let his hand found John’s low back, and he felt John putting his hand on his shoulder. The other two hands met in the other side, the two men admiring with a strange feeling how the brunet’s fingertips touch the drummer’s knucles. 

It felt...surprisingly pleseant.

A piano melody filled the room, the the older men lookd to the other couple. They seemed more familiar with the song, smiling over the harmony – of course, the song meant something on their love story.

Roger and John should be dancing, but they stayed still, seeing Joe leaning his head to rest on Ben’s shoulder and closing his eyes, content. The actors were in the happiness buble, dancing and enjoying the song without a care. Their fathers smiled without noticing.

“I like Joe.” The oldest blond man commented, making John look again to him. “He’s funny, and smart and incredibly good. He cares about Ben about his family, and I value this in a person.” John’s heart got bigger, proud of Roger praising his son. 

“I like Ben too.” John felt the need to point it out too. “He wanted to get along with us since the first moment, he’s polite and thoughtful, and he’s handling Luke’s situation very well, so I know he’s right for my son.” And the brunet saw the known Roger’s smirk that he showed when he’s proud of something.

“They will be happy, won’t they?” Roger asked, almost as a whisper.

“I hope so. They deserve.”

“At least them.”

John pretended he didn’t hear this.

Without realizing the song ended and Joe and Ben shared a quick kiss, and then they looked to their parents, still with shining eyes to them.

“What?” asked Joe, blushing.

Joe was too happy. Still had a lot of things to do until the wedding day, but damn, he was dancing the song it was playing at the radio when he first real-kissed Ben. He’s a sap, and he couldn’t believe how perfect the song fit with them (he surely forgot the “girl” part in the chorus), because if Ben is with him they can indeed rule the world.

Ben smiled when he watched Joe happily dancing their song. And somehow the rehearsal made him feel that he’s truly gettin married. Sure, they were doing all the planning for a reason, but dancing one of their waltzs stroke him the reality that, in some months, Joe will be his husband.

“Just admiring our sons. We can’t?” Roger wided his smile.

Something inside John dropped heavily when he heard ‘our sons’ coming out of the blond’s mouth. He wasn’t saying any lie, but then why it sounded weird to him?

“Now let’s teach you the moviments.” Ben happily clapped.

It was a hard task. John was a natural dancer, especially with pair-dancing, so he learned the steps quickly, but Roger never liked to dance much – at least not sober. Normally Ben would mock his dancing skills, but not today; it’s his damn wedding rehearsal.

When John and Roger were united again, the drummer felt more pressure. He didn’t want to look (more) like a fool. Joe and Ben watched closely the two men swinging, giving some tips. Roger was doing his best, leading the dance and gripping John’s back, tighting their hands hold to comand the waltz, the other man’s expression unreadable.

Like it was nothing.

After the hundredth time of the song playing, John was running again around Roger, just to stop back in front of him. Roger started to sing “ _You saved my soul_ ” while grabbed John’s hands to put around his own neck. Half hipnotized, half in automatic pilot, he let his hands slide to Roger’s chest when he sang “ _Don’t live me now, don’t live me now, o-oh!_ ”

He felt Roger’s heart against his palm.

The blond man saw John blinked nervously and grinned “What? I know the song by now.”

It’s not because of that.

He hated how smooth Roger’s voice was sometimes.

“Dad, it was too fast!” Joe pouted, putting John back to reality.

“I’m sorry. I’m a bit tired, son.” John grew the best fake smile, a quick response.

“They don’t need to be flawless today, love.” Ben tried to calm down the ginger. “At least not today, folks.” And the older men giggled after this.

The couple decided to give a quick rest for the other pair. Ben went to the kitchen to pick some leftovers for Joe and Roger, while John said he needed a cigarette. To be honest he just needed to be a bit away. He liked to be around, to be part of it, but sometimes was...too much.

He promised to himself not swim too deep, but that’s happening even without his consent.

When he couldn’t linger more time, John got back to the flat, where Roger was watching Joe and Ben saying about some date they had where the waiter slipped and threw pasta over Ben’s lap. It was a stupid story, but they were laughing.

Joe’s eyes found John. “Finally, dad! Are you very tired or we can try this song?” tried the man.

“Okay, let’s dance.” John smiled tirely. “At least this time I will lead. Less chances for Roger to smash my foot.”

“Oh, shut up.” Roger rolled his eyes, walking until he was in front of John again.

John pulled Roger closer, making his mocking expression become a confused one. The youngest man’s finger caressed the blond’s back for two seconds, the latter still so mesmerized with John’s action that almost didn’t feel him taking his other hand.

“Let me teach you a lesson or two about dancing, Meddows.” A sassy smile appeared, and Roger smiled back, not being able to be bland over his middle name on John’s mouth.

“Fuck off.” Roger couldn’t giggle. Not now. Not in front of his own son and John’s.

“I think you both will like this song, since you made Ben and I listen to it our whole childhood. Such a weird coincidence.” Joe grabbed his phone to look for the song.

“It’s not weird. Sir Elton John is british, and we like our own artists.” Defended Ben.

Roger and John seemed confused for some seconds, and then Joe played the song.

When the first notes started, clarity drown both men.

_“I’m tired of Scrabble!” whined Roger, after losing poorly from Freddie._

_“Oh my, you don’t chance, do you, blondie?” teased the Queen main singer, poking Roger’s belly. The drummer angrily shoved his hands away from him._

_“If you don’t know how to lose, you shouldn’t play.” Adviced Brian, with a smirk._

_John was giggling silently, still focusing on his college paper. He should keep his work in order if he wanted to stay in the band; as much as he loved to play, his education came first._

_“I know what we will do. Let’s dance!” declared Freddie, lifting his arms._

_“You know I can’t dance.” Brian commented, flatly._

_“Not having me as a pair.” Freddie flicked his wrist, giving no much attention, and tuned the radio, picking the first station._

_All four showed different expressions when they recognized the song: Freddie was amazed, Brian was confused, John was amused and Roger was disgusted._

_“I’m not gonna dance a romantic song with any of you.” Roger pointed, looking deadly serious._

_“It’s a dance, you moron, not sex.” Freddie walked to Brian, extending his hand. “Do you give me this dance, my lord?”_

_“You stupid.” But Brian took his hand stood up from the couch, envolving Freddie in a hug, both swinging in the song’s rhythm._

_John looked with hilarity his two bandmates dancing Elton John’s song, laughing quietly when he heard Freddie yelling with Brian because he step on his foot. And then he saw a hand extended to him._

_Looking up, he saw Roger with a tired expression, maybe only a façade to pretend he didn’t want to do it. “I guess we have to dance?”_

_“If you step in my foot, I’ll kick your ass.” John stood up and took Roger’s hand._

_They found a place between the telly and the center table to dance. It wasn’t an elaborated dance, they were just moving according the tempo; they were good at it, by the way._

_Just for precaution John decided to lead, his hands around Roger’s waist, and the drummer put his around John’s neck. Before they could chat, Freddie yelled with Brian again, and the two youngest men glanced to each other and giggled together._

_The bass player sighed, a content sound, and Roger scanned his face. “Are you enjoying being with the misfits?”_

_John saw the other pair again, but now they were chatting normally, and he turned back to the blond. He was happy there. “I’m good.”_

_And with an unexpected move, Roger got closer and rested his head on John’s chest, fitting perfectly behind his chin. John sighed again._

Roger and John blinked to each other when Sir Elton John, in the present, was singing “ _For each man in his time is Cain until he walks along the beach...And sees his future in the water, a long lost heart withing his reach..._ ”

The brunet man took a couple of steps away from Roger, and made a painful expression. “Joe, I’m a bit tired. I think the smoking didn’t help.”

“Are you sure you can’t stay a bit and try to recompose yourself, Mr Deacon?” Ben asked, a bit disappointed.

Roger, who’s until now looking ablazed to John, get back to his normal self, and put his hands on his pockets. “I think we should end the day. I’m also worried with your mom since I got here. She’s there alone, she must be need me.”

“Alright, I think there’s no way we finish this today.” Joe gave up. “But can you, please, show the steps of Rule the World to mom and Debbie?”

They agreed, and without linger too much, they left, John too busy on his own mind to share a word or to look to the other

He entered in his car and left without saying good bye to Roger. The blond, in other hand, looked petrified, like he couldn’t move. He was still living in the moment when he was listening to The One at Ben’s flat.

And remembering the face John Deacon was wearing.

Roger thought too much, too many times, but he’s right. There’s not turning back.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update bc I'm on fire

Cameron said weeks ago he had an essay from his music class about how music could change a person’s life, and he thought it’d be a nice excuse to interview Roger, Brian and Freddie – and also make this interview a video for his Youtube channel.

“Cam, you are not using your privilege of knowing a real band to have a big score in your class, and to boost your channel, right?” John raised his eyebrows, already knowing his son’s mind.

“There’s no harm in doing it, John.” Freddie said, confidently winking at Cameron.

“And for that you can be the first to answer the individual questions.” Smiled the boy.

“Wonderful!”

They were at John’s house, and Veronica was making snacks for everybody. Roger watched the woman for some minutes, seeing her moving between the refrigerator and the kitchen balcony. His blue eyes trying to analyze her. He heard someone clearing their throat next to him, and when he turned around he saw Brian looking at him.

“What?” the drummer questioned.

“You’re doing it. Again.” Brian pointed, his voice a tone below his usual. He was serious.

“And?”

“And it’s John’s wife. What the hell?”

Roger seriously couldn’t believe what his friend was suggesting. “Brian, please.”

Brian giggled, amused. “Christ, it’s not about that. You’re trying to figure why she’s special.”

“Fuck off.”

“I’ve made mini-sandwiches and juice, if someone fancy.” Veronica said, putting the food on the table in front of them.

“Thank you, Veronica. You’re so kind.” Brian thanked, and took a snack.

“Roger?”

The drummer silently sighed before he turned around to talk with Veronica.

He didn’t hate her. Yeah, he kinda didn’t try to talk much with her, he just was polite enough when around to ask casual things here and there, specially when she’s helping Debbie with the wedding planning. But Roger didn’t want to be friends with her.

Because she took John away from Queen. And from him.

“I saw a book on your house, and that’s the book we’re reading in my book club.” Started the woman.

“Huh.” Said Roger, drinking his juice to justify his lack of response.

“Yeah. Heartburn, by Nora Ephron. It’s interesting. Who owns the book? I mean, in your house.” 

He realized she really wanted to talk, so he gave up.

“Me. Sometimes Debbie reads it too.”

“Really?” Veronica sounded very surprised. “Sorry, I just...it doesn’t fit with your attitude.”

“What? Reading books?” Roger frowned, bitterly.

“No, the theme. It talks about a woman’s perspective of his husband’s affair. I didn’t imagine you’d like it.” Veronica looked around. John, Brian, Freddie and Cameron were at the living room, talking about the video. “Also...I want to ask you another thing.”

Of course. Roger knew she didn’t want to talk about books. “Okay.”

“You and John seem to be very...close. It’s just a bit odd to me to believe that you’ve never wanted to find John again. I mean, you deposited every month in more than twenty years an amount of money for him.”

Roger stopped a bit to think what he should say to her. Once, many years ago, he had asked Jim Beach to find John’s address, without saying to the others. With John’s bank account and some money he could find where the former Queen bassist was. And a week later the manager gave an address to the blond.

United States of America. Very far away from him. He didn’t want to be found. He put an ocean between them, so that was more than an obvious answer. So he burned the paper with John’s address down. With time, he forgot about it.

But everytime they made a concert at the country, Roger thought ‘He’s somewhere here’.

“John made it very clear that he didn’t want to see my face again.” The drummer didn’t even flinch with the lie. “But I couldn’t be unfair with him and not let him receive the money he deserved.”

Veronica really didn’t want to talk more about it – because it made John annoyed about it – but she couldn’t stay shut. “Still seems odd. One fight and years of partnership gone.”

“You know John. He’s stubborn, and I’m not the most chill person.” Roger smiled. “I don’t like to talk about it either. We need to bury this and move on.”

Veronica understood and nodded, not saying another word.

But had someone actually moved on?

\---

Cameron was almost finishing his interview with Brian, talking more about his solos and how he made them. The man couldn’t be happier to answer him.

“Your son is very articulated, John.” Commented Freddie. “I already saw some of his videos, and they are fun.”

“I like the way he is, so dreamy and not afraid to do anything.” Smiled John. “He’s always asking me to buy things for his videos, like funny hats and outfits. He’s not harming anyone or messing with his school schedule, so why not?”

“Thank you so much, Brian.” Said Cameron, with a big smile. “Dad, can you pause the camera?”

He saw his dad nodding and touching the camera screen. “You’re next, Roger.”

“Coming.” Roger said, clapping excitedly.

John stopped a moment to watch his kid interacting with Roger. They looked fine, and Roger made some joke making Cameron laugh, his eyes closing tightly.

“Something on your mind, Deaky?” asked Brian.

“I just...” John shuffled, his stomach burning with the thought. “I just wanted Luke got along with you like Cam and Joe.”

“Do you think is because of me?” Freddie didn’t seem worried, but genuinely curious.

“Actually I don’t know. He’s a bit away from us.” John didn’t like this; he could remember that Joe loved to taking care with his brothers, even though he was too young to do it anyway. The three were very close when they were younger.

And now Luke couldn’t stay close to his oldest brother without saying something mean.

“Don’t bother, dear.” Freddie caressed John’s arm. “He’s young, he’ll make bad decisions and then someday he’ll come around.”

“I don’t want him to make bad decisions.” John looked worried.

“No parent wants that, my friend,” Brian had some laugh on his voice “but it happens either way.”

“Dad, can you press the play button in five?” asked Cameron. “Are you ready, Roger?”

“I was never a fan of interviews, to be honest...” said the blond man.

“And you said this just now?”

Roger giggled, light. “That’s fine, kid. I can handle. Let’s get an A for you.”

\---

Cameron was almost finishing the questions for Roger when Veronica came to the living room to watch. She stopped next to John. “How is it so far?”

“Cam said it must be a ten minutes video tops, so he’ll need to cut a lot of things here.” John answered. He touched his wife’s hair to put it behind her ear and whispered “How about after that we ask the kids to go to Joe’s and try again?”

Veronica looked at him with some reluctance. “Will you stop torturing yourself and try the pill?”

John blinked at her, not believing she was proposing it again, and looked away.

“So Roger, now it’s a fan question.” Spoke Cameron, looking to the man next to him. “I know for a fact that Breakthru was Queen’s first hit, written by you, and it clearly talks about love. But it was written way before you met your wife, so could you tell us to who you wrote that song?”

Veronica saw fear at Roger’s blue eyes, and for two long seconds his eyes found John’s...and then he looked to Brian and Freddie.

She got closer to the camera and paused the recording. “Son, it’s a very private question.”

“That’s fine, Veronica. I already answered this question lots of times before.” John could see how nervous Roger was just because of his eyebrows. They were doing an involuntary up and down movement.

“Okay. Let me unpause this then.”

When his mother unpaused the recording, Cameron asked the question again, and this time Roger did answer it.

“It’s about how I’d feel if I was in love. It’s about all the things I could do to please the person I love, to make them feel loved. It’s about my promises.” Roger showed a kind smile.

John turned around and walked quickly to the bathroom.

\---

Cameron asked for a quick break to eat something. He said the material was pretty good and he was confident he’d get a high score with it.

Meanwhile Freddie and Brian were talking to John’s son about his father’s audition and that after he confessed how nervous he was that day, even though he didn’t show much. John said his side of the story, talking about Freddie’s giant eyes over him, how Brian had looked like he was analyzing every move of him, and how Roger didn’t seem so convinced by him.

“But you got in the band, mate!” defended Brian himself.

“But I didn’t know that until you had said it.” Pointed the brunet. “Until then I thought the worst things.”

“In the end you got in and enjoyed it, right, dear?” smiled kindly Freddie.

John gave a smile, but if someone starred a bit longer at his eyes they could see some sadness on the grayish green eyes. Something that never left him.

“Wait, so today marks 26 years of dad’s audition?” Cameron questioned, almost sure.

“Oh God, it is!” exclaimed Veronica. 

John looked to his friends, they were looking as nostalgic as him. So many things had happened after that day they met, and decades later they were united again. Something warm and painful hit his chest, on his heart. 

A pain so close to pleasure that he didn’t mind the feeling.

The moment was cut by the front door getting opened, showing Luke coming back for his band rehearsal with his bass and amp. He looked to everyone, finding a bit odd his house with so many people.

“It’s someone’s birthday?” he asked.

“Just Cam recording a video with Queen.” Answered Veronica. “There’s mini sandwiches in the fridge.”

“Sweet.” 

He was about to put his bass and amp on the floor when Freddie said “John said you’re a bassist just like him. Did he teach you?”

Luke looked at him for some seconds and then he replied “Some things, but most of it I learned by myself.”

“How nice. And that’s the only instrument you how know to play?”

“A bit of guitar, and a bit of drums. But I like the bass more.”

“And I bet you want to be a professional. I know when I see one.”

The boy gave quick glances to his parents. He probably didn’t talk about it to them. “Maybe.”

“So how about you show us your bits? We have a professional band here...”

“A good one.” Added Roger, smirking.

“Yes, so we can give you tips.”

“Really?” Luke’s eyes glowed. John hadn’t seen it for a while.

“Of course. A bass player is very important for a band, but you already know this. Maybe when John gets too tired to play for the album you can play with us. He’s too old, anyways. Also we want to know about your band, of course!”

They laughed, including Luke. 

“Okay, Freddie. Let me just change my clothes and eat something.” The boy nodded and took his things, walking to his bedroom.

Cameron and his parents looked shocked with the interaction, and Freddie smiled coyly.

“See? He’s not totally lost.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts about Luke?


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check the chapter 24 too bc I updated 2 chapters today

The men were giving Luke some advice after he’d spent more than 30 minutes playing his bass. 

He looked very proud of himself and John was way more than him. And, despite the behavior he had always shown around, Luke was treating Freddie very well, and John felt relieved; he didn’t want to have another talk with his son right now.

“You should come see my band playing. It will be next month, in a family bar next to dad’s job.” Luke invited, happily.

“Just say the day and we’ll be there.” Brian smiled to the boy.

“Are you sure that they won’t start a fuss there?” John asked to Luke.

“Oh, I want them to make a fuss. And to say that they like us.” Grinned Luke, making the older men laugh.

“Your boy is a visionary, Deaky.” Commented Roger, clapping Luke’s shoulder.

“Luke, Cam, how about we sleep today at Joe’s so we can let your dad and his friends with the house tonight?” suggested Veronica. “After all they’re celebrating a birthday.”

John looked worried to his wife. What was this all about? Yeah, he’d love to spend some time with Freddie, Roger and Brian, but why had she said that? And – the mostly important thing – he didn’t want to celebrate anything. Because he didn’t want to remember he was, one day, a Queen member.

A bit hard to not remember when his three former bandmates were constantly around.

“Are you sure?” asked John, looking directly at Veronica’s eyes.

“I’m sure, John. Have fun.” Veronica kissed him and soon walked to their room, to grab some clothes for her.

John looked to his friends, that looked excited with the idea, specially Freddie. “Uh, a party!”

“Just four old men drinking together in a house isn’t a party, Freddie.” Pointed Brian, amused.

“It’s something that I can say out loud because there’s kids around.” Roger showed a mischievous smile.

“Fuck off.” 

Freddie and Brian witnessed the smile the drummer and ex-bass player shared for few seconds.

Before any of them could comment something about it, Veronica, Cameron and Luke showed at the living room again, ready to go to Joe’s house, and the woman affirmed that she had consulted him already.

“Guys, thank you so much for helping me out with my assignment.” Cameron said, looking to his dad’s friends, that smiled back. “When I edit the video, I’ll send to you.”

“We’re glad that we could help you, dear.” Freddie spoke, proud with himself.

They left the house and John was still smiling, feeling that maybe his life could be indeed good. It was weird – but also true – that he hadn’t felt like that for a while. Not that he was unhappy, but he never got this pique of happiness in a long time.

“Something on your mind, Deaky?” asked Brian.

“I just...” John was with watery eyes. “I always wanted to my sons to like you. Joe loves the band since ever, Cam is getting along just fine, and even Luke is talking with you. I’m...I’m just truly happy.”

Roger felt John’s eyes flickered towards him and then looking away. He could sense the brunet wanted to talk more, to talk why his sons hadn’t met Freddie and Brian way before, but they just restarted to talk with each other again, so he shut it down.

To be fair, the drummer imagined how would it be for Ben, Rory and Tiger to grow up around Joe, Cameron and Luke just like they did with Emily, Jimmy and Louise. First of all, Ben and Joe would be together for several years. But now Roger was divagating about a past that hadn’t happened, so there was no reason to torture himself with it.

“You’re being too emotional, so that means you need to get drunk.” Singed Freddie.

\--- 

They decided to buy some whiskey, since Roger said he hated the american whiskey and he needed to buy a scottish one he saw a week ago. The blond was in a car with Brian and John was driving his own, with Freddie as his passenger.

“I must say, John, I’m also very happy that we’re close to your kids.” The Queen main singer said. “I always thought of them as my godchildren.”

“You’re very kind, Freddie.” John smiled quickly to his friend. In another lifetime, Freddie definitely would have be Joe’s godfather.

“Now is way better than receiving photographs of then every month.” Freddie saw John snort with the teasing. “But I think nothing will happen to tear us away again, right?”

Freddie surely wanted an answer, but John just kept his eyes on the traffic, that wasn’t a big at that hour. He knew the younger man well enough to know he was avoiding the question.

“ _Right_ , John?” Freddie insisted. Still silence. The man rolled his eyes. “John, Roger is good right now, and he’s trying to be around, to not mess up, so promise me you’ll do the same.”

“And how I could mess up?” John challenged.

“You could break Roger again.”

Gladly they arrived at the store and John just opened the driver door, pulling out. Brian and Roger watched John walking alone to the store, and saw a tired look on Freddie.

“Something happened?” asked Roger

Freddie debated with himself if he should say the truth. The road John and Roger were taking could lead to places they’d regret, and he really wanted to believe he was devastatingly wrong. But normally he was not. Watching Roger’s soft expression – because he was indeed enjoying the four together again – the older man decided to save it for later. 

Today was a day to celebrate.

“No, dear.”

\---

At John’s again, they started to drink and talk again, remembering the first album recording, and how John still got a bit defensive next to them, his eyes full of shyness.

“I was just afraid to be kicked out by saying something wrong!” John defended himself, smiling in the end.

“Nonsense! The only thing that Brian loved in the band more than you was that guitar.” Said Freddie, smirking and looking to his friend’s direction.

“Still remains the same, right, Brian?” 

“Fuck off.” Brian drank a bit more.

“Once I dreamed I broke his Red Special, and I called him to apologize.” Mentioned Roger, making the other and himself laugh.

“You’re all jealous because you’ll never be loved that much.” Teased Brian.

It was pleasant to be there, sharing old stories about days from two decades ago; even though it looked so far away in the past, they still could feel the memory so fresh on their minds, and relive the senses of those moments. And the fact that John was there with them, some times that happened when they talked about the band made more special.

The youngest man could feel something heavy rising up on his chest, and to be fair he got a bit used with it since the four started to see each other every day. It was part of the game, feeling a bit sad for not being in fact a member of the band. Yes, he was recording an album with them, but in the end, when Freddie, Roger and Brian traveled around the world for the tour, he’d stay at USA, still being a meaningless employee in the music industry.

So he decided to drink two shots of vodka without breathing.

“Wow, someone wants to get drunk, apparently.” Signed Brian, half amused, half worried.

John smiled, feeling the liquid burning him inside. He sadly looked to the other three men. “It’s just...I like that you are here, I really do...But sometimes the memories hurt.”

The Queen members shared a look, and the guitar player decided to sat closer to John, put his hand softly on the man’s shoulder, comforting him. “Sorry. We’re trying to cheer you up, and we didn’t have idea...”

“No. That’s fine.” John nodded, to reassure his words. “It’s sometimes...I miss music, that’s all.”

“But you work in a music agency, Deaky.” Frowned Roger.

The brunet man always felt a bit odd to avoid talking about this subject with Freddie and Brian. They’d always asked about his work, and he’d always given short and unenthusiastic answers, and moved to the next topic. And _there was_ a reason for it.

“It’s far from the same, Roger.” John’s tone rose up a little. “Imagine having a wall between the backstage and the stage. You can’t cross it.” Something appeared at the men’s faces, and John felt they got it. “You can feel the energy, the excitement, but you can’t be really there to pick it. Because it’s not yours.”

“But I thought you liked your job.” Freddie spoke slowly.

“I like it, but like 30% of the time.” John looked down, feeling so small in that moment.

“For how long you have you been feeling like this?”

John snorted. “Since day one.”

“Then quit, dear.”

“Yeah.” Brian agreed, squeezing John’s shoulder. “No one must feel like this for so long.”

“You know who helped me to get this job, right?” Freddie and Brian nodded, while Roger shook his head. “Ronnie’s dad, to help us raise this family in America. This job means a lot to me because with it I bought this house, paid for my kids’ schools and the bills.”

“But you’re unhappy, John!” exclaimed Roger, more angry than he should be.

John looked to the blond. “I’m used to.” He looked to Freddie with a weird expression on his face, making the man get confused, and glanced back to the drummer. “But by the way, I want to tell you something.”

Roger’s pressure got up.

“Do you know Spread Your Wings, a song from the second album?” John could see from the corner of his eye Freddie opening his mouth surprised. Roger just nodded. “It’s mine. I wrote that song and sent to Freddie, asking for him to put in the album.”

_The song creation was hard for Roger this time. During the tour for the first album he could drink and get numb enough to forget his problems, but now, with the need of putting words in a paper and make new songs, he couldn’t hide away. Maybe the pain could be used, but the blond didn’t want to go there._

_It was too fresh yet._

_Brian and Freddie arrived at the studio, with excited voices, and Roger heard Brian saying something about the song he did about his dead cat and that could be used in the album. The blond breathed deeply and tried to put a better face. He already had to see everyday during the tour the worry on his bandmates’ faces._

_“So, dears, I have a new song.” Announced Freddie. “Of course I accept criticisms, but I can’t change a word.”_

_“Alright.” Laughed Brian, knowing how much his friend was overprotective with his creations._

_Freddie gave the paper to Brian, and Roger shifted closer, to read it too. He could hear Brian murmuring the lyrics, trying to see a harmony on the words, and Roger frowned with every line._

_He tried to imagine Freddie writing that, but he couldn’t picture it._

_“Mate, that doesn’t seem like your work.” Commented Roger, looking to the oldest man._

_“What are you trying to suggest, blondie?” Freddie raised an eyebrow challenging._

_“Nothing. I’m just saying that’s different than your lyrics, that’s all.”_

_Different was a soft word to it. Even though Freddie always tended to write about sadness, he always was a bit melodramatic in his words. This one in front of him was way more raw and overpowering. Roger wanted to cry with this song._

_Also Freddie never tried to bring a character on his songs, this seemed more like a thing that could be done by…_

_No. It’s not possible. He was not there anymore._

_“What do you think, my darlings?” asked Freddie, with a expectant smile._

_“I can work with it.” Said Brian, looking to Roger._

_“Let’s do this.”_

Roger blinked to John, without saying anything, probably processing the new revelation. It made so much sense now: normally Freddie loudly let everyone know when he was in a writing process (and when he wasn’t), and in a week he appeared with a whole song written, that was out of his zone.

Sensing that the blond man was still digesting what he just said, John added “That’s why I didn’t get more mad with the Breakthru thing. Because I kept this secret for many years.”

“John showed me the lyrics and I said him to sale it for another band, but he said he wanted for me to sing it.” Freddie spoke again, a bit emotional with the story. “And that’s why I took it. Just like Roger, I said to Miami to redirect the single’s money to John’s account.”

“Seems like Miami knows a lot of our secrets.” Giggled Brian, and the place got less heavy.

“And what does the lyrics mean?” Roger looked to John, way too firmly.

“It means what it means.” John broke the glance.

 _It means_ , John thought, _that I had to give up of my dreams to come to a foreign land to be away from everything and everyone I loved_.

\---

The more shots that were taken, the more loose the men were getting. The laughters were easier, the shouts got higher, and Brian tried to dance a weird song that Roger put on his phone. So yeah, they were drunk.

John got along with Brian and started to dance too. Freddie yelled encouraging them to keep dancing, and Roger just stayed still, admiring the brunet moving without a care.

He remembered how John used to dance with everything: during rehearsals, at stage, while he was watching some commercial in the telly, even when he was humming alone to a song. Music vibrated on his bones. It had been more than two months and that was the first time he saw John dancing; he needed to get a whole bottle of vodka empty to it.

Did he change this much?

“Disco Deaky is alive!” exclaimed Brian, moving around in circles.

“Very alive!” shouted back the man, with a excited smile on his face. A shine, so hard to see these days, glowed on his green eyes.

No, he didn’t change, but his life made him this way.

“Let me show you something.” John said out of nowhere, grabbed Roger’s hand and dragged him to his bedroom direction.

Freddie stopped and watched them disappearing in the hall corner. Before he could walk three steps Brian grabbed his arm, and he looked to his friend.

“Relax. It’s his house.” Brian said, more sober than ever.

“I don’t trust them.” Freddie was clearly worried, and he looked to the spot again. “They were so close to mess everything up.”

In the bedroom, John was looking for something while Roger sat at the bed. He childishly moved, jumping a little afterwards, and then he saw John holding a small and fancy bag.

Smiling, John sat next to Roger and handed the bag to the drummer. “I know your birthday will be next week, but now that you’re here.”

“You didn’t have to.” Roger blushed and unwrapped the gift. He smiled fondly when he saw a necklace with a small dolphin (Roger’s favorite animal) on it. “I can’t believe you remember!”

“It’s hard to forget when you had talked about this everyday, and I –” but John got cut by arms involving him on a hug.

Roger’s grip was strong, gluing their bodies together for two flatting seconds, and they lost the balance, falling down in the mattress. They pulled away and looked to each other, and soon they were hysterically laughing. There was nothing funny about it, but they were finding hard to stop the laughter.

The brunet remembered the morning of this day, the meaning of it for him, and he had thought it couldn’t be good. But he was wrong, because right now his ribs were hurting for laughing so many times.

John turned his face and saw Roger laughing softly, breathing calmer and calmer in each second, and then his blue eyes found his own. A calm silence rested between them, something that in some weeks ago would have been impossible.

They were in a good place. They didn’t want to move from that place...Probably a bit forward, but never more backwards.

“I know that I was a bit of a dick not trying to contact you like I did with Freddie and Brian, but believe me, you were here.” Confessed John, without blinking. “You were invisible, but you were here.”

“An invisible man.” Spitted Roger, somehow finding this amusing. “Hey, but right now I’m not invisible. Because I’m in your room, and in your bed.”

“Don’t get too excited, Rog.”

“Why didn’t you look for another band, John? I bet any rock band would have liked to have you, specially after they knew you’re the Queen former bassist.” Roger got serious in a moment, surprising John with the question.

How many times he’d thought about it. The urgent need of performing for people, even though he was the shy type. The praise after a concert, people recognizing him in the streets, he being one of a kind. He wanted that so badly.

“It wouldn’t have worked for me.” John said. “I mean, I’m glad that you found Neil and he got along with the band and such, but...I would never find someone like Freddie, Brian or you.”

John felt warmer when Roger got an inch closer.

“What we had was unique, and I’d never feel comfortable with other people.”

“If we called, would you come back to Queen?” Roger breathed in one go, scared enough to refrain himself in the middle of the sentence.

“I don’t which answer I fear the most to give you. Both are extremely hurtful to me.”

Roger leaned in slowly, and John closed his eyes. Soft lips touched the brunet’s forehead, and he let it be, enjoying the heat of Roger on him.

The blond thought several seconds, lingering in the contact for as long as he could, and after accepting their fate, Roger pulled away, stronger than ever. It was a now or never situation.

“John, I have to confess, I...”

But he couldn’t confess anything to John, because when he saw the brunet had dozen off, snoring lowly next to him. Roger smiled watching him breathing so peacefully, and caressed his cheek.

His eyes found a small office table at the bedroom, with a notebook and a pen on it. The blond didn’t think it twice before he stood up and walked to the table, sitting in the chair and opening the notebook.

At the top of a blank page he wrote: _The Invisible Man by Roger Taylor._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of information, I know
> 
> Google the lyrics of this song and tell if that's not a freaking love song lol jk


	26. Chapter 26

The warm temperature made John wake up. He had totally forgotten to turn on the air conditioner, and his mouth was dry. The man was still sleepy, but he needed a big glass of water right now.

He blinked a couple of times and saw someone sleeping next to him, and it took some moments to remember that his wife had slept at Joe’s house. Opening his eyes widely to see better, John realized that the person had blond short hair.

“Fuck!” yelled John, jumping up.

His shout made Roger wake up, squeezing his eyes a bit before lazily open up, confused. “What the hell, Deaky?”

“What are you doing in my bed?”

“Jesus, I just got tired and slept.” Roger yawned, and looked at the other man. John seemed worried with something, and Roger added “You dozed off suddenly and so did I. That was it.”

John still remained incredulous. “That was it?”

“Yes. Why? What more did you think it could happen?”

The brunet man kept silence, thinking if it was a good idea answering the Queen drummer, so instead he said “I need some water.” and got up, going to the bedroom door.

Outside the room, he could smell food getting made, and he saw it was still 9 a.m. Getting in the kitchen, John saw Brian and Freddie chatting lightly while the curly-haired man cooked some eggs. 

Freddie turned around and saw him, smiling after. “Hi, dear. I hope you don’t mind that we messed your kitchen up a bit. It was getting late and we’re starving.”

“Of course I don’t mind.” John carelessly waved. “By the way, did you say to Anita and Jim that you’d sleep here?”

“Of course, John. What do you think we are, animals?” joked Brian, putting the eggs and some toasts in a plate and handing to Freddie.

“So, John...” Freddie paused to take a bite of his breakfast. “How was your night? Did you get a nice sleep?”

John snorted with his friend trying to be subtle – the singer probably knew he was the opposite of it – and he noticed Brian paying attention to their conversation, so he replied “You two don’t need to worry. Nothing did happen, and nothing will.”

“You know we are just concerned for you and Roger, right?” Brian inquired, sitting next to Freddie, a plate in hands.

“No need to.”

“Are you sure?” Freddie asked.

Too many unwanted questions being made to John so early in the morning.

“Morning.” They got surprised when they heard Roger’s voice.

John moved, going to get the water he needed.

\---

After the Queen members got out of the house, John went to Joe’s house, and found his family watching a movie. They greeted him and the man sat close to Veronica, wrapping his arm on her shoulder, the woman resting on his chest. Something so usual to them, but right now John didn’t feel it was right.

“They are gone?” asked Veronica in a low tone.

“Just now. Cleaned all the mess.” Replied the brunet. “Thank you for give us space tonight.”

“Of course.”

John looked at his sons, so focused on the movie, and whispered at his wife’s ear “Let’s go home.”

“But you just...” and she saw a different shine on the grayish green eyes. “ _Oh_. Alright.” She smiled. “Joe, can the boys stay here this morning? Your dad and I need to clean the house after last night’s little party.”

The three boys made disgusted faces. Of course they knew they were lying. “We don’t need to know about this, mom!”

Both parents blushed and walked to the door in awkward silence.

John didn’t know why he needed to do this right now. He missed sex so much, but maybe the feeling of something heavy on his chest, that he’d been feeling since he woke up next to a blond man instead of his wife...it changed something.

Veronica only had the time to close their house’s front door before John pushed her against the door and kissed her. She got surprised, but pleasantly, with the action, and soon she held on John’s shoulders, gluing their mouths and deepening the kiss. Her skirt gave John a better access to her arse, his hands grabbing and squeezing it.

She moaned against John’s lips, showing how aroused she was getting. When their hips touched, Veronica’s mind lighten up, and she broke the kiss. “John...” Veronica breathed, a bit dizzy. “Are you sure you shouldn’t take a...?” she preferred not to say the name. “I know you don’t want to, but...”

“Let me try just one more time. If I can’t make it, we’ll try with your way.” John sounded firm, almost serious.

Veronica nodded, and leaned again, kissing John. It was immature, snogging like teens against a door, but it felt so good. She grabbed John’s hair, loving how John was taking her in a greedy way; normally he was gentle, but today he wanted her so badly.

John tried to reach every part of his wife’s body, to turn himself on. He needed that win, he needed to show he was able to be hard without something else. Veronica had always had an amazing body, beautiful legs, delicious breasts, juicy arse and pussy. Then why wasn’t his cock showing interest? He couldn’t believe it was because his age, he was still strong enough…

And then flashes got back of his mind...Moments of his life way too good for him to forget, a voice moaning his name, so needy...Someone crying out for more... _Fuck, John, more!_

John pulled away just to look at Veronica’s face, mesmerizing her traces, every piece of that face. And he kissed her one more time, with new desire, putting himself into, or really trying to. 

And than that voice was again on his mind, louder than before.

“John, keep going.” Veronica begged, between a kiss and another, and she lifted her leg, and started to brushed against John.

Then he realized that, after weeks trying, he was hard. Fully hard.

“Christ!” Veronica gasped when she felt her husband’s erection against her. “Let’s go to the bed.”

The bed that less than two hours ago someone else was on.

John didn’t want to elaborate much the thought. He wanted to have sex with Veronica. Even though she wasn’t the one that had made him hard now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, honey...


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The big turning point of this fic is soon so get ready

Today they decided to have a sun bath at Debbie’s house. Veronica actually found it very amusing realizing how much time it had been since she did a sun bath, and shared with the group.

“America screwed your british self, dear.” Teased Anita, putting her sunglasses and sitting on her chair.

“Well, I don’t like to sunbathe alone, so I can count with that.” Pointed Veronica, smiling.

It was almost sad that she’d already bonded with Debbie, Anita and Jim. Not that they were horrible people, no, but because she never allowed too much people to be emotionally close to her. Being british and having an introspective self made the woman only having John as confidant, but now she realized she could have more people around. It was a struggle going out of her comfort zone but it showed up to be really satisfactory.

After all, with all the ideas she and Debbie were having for their sons’ wedding, talking too much with each other was a must.

“People here always look like you’re crazy if you sunbath.” Commented Veronica. “Once I invited my neighbour and she laughed. In my face.”

“How rude.” Jim said, putting a cap to protect his face. “That’s why I love Europe. People there look for their own business.”

“Yes, sir.” Nodded Debbie.

“You don’t miss living there, Ronnie?” asked Anita, looking to her.

Veronica missed it like crazy. After having three kids, she never had the chance to go there, because it was too pricey to travel with her sons and husband. John always said that he was saving some money to make a trip at Cameron’s 16th birthday. A family trip at Europe would be the best for the woman.

It was crazy that, even after living there for 22 years, Veronica never felt at home in that country. John called her to begin a new life in another continent, and at first she thought it was crazy to cross an ocean, but either way she accepted. Now her kids were more than used living there, and Joe felt very american.

So maybe she only would go back to England after all her kids got married.

“I don’t know.” Veronica replied, a bit uncertain.  
“Freddie would never leave England.” Jim meddled. “Probably because he can’t use his fancy coats here.”

“Roger loves England too much. He probably will die if this marriage doesn’t come soon and he has to stay here until the end of the year.” Added Debbie.

“I got shocked when he rented this house, to be honest.” Jim commented.

“He said that after the wedding he’ll stay away from here for at least five years.”

“So dramatic.”

“Can I ask you something?” Veronica could hear her voice shaking. 

Three heads turned around to look at her. Some part of her didn’t want to ask them about anything, but their husbands were around John’s age, so they could help her to understand.

“But no one can know about this conversation.” The woman felt a bit childish saying this, but she was scared. It was a very private issue.

“Of course, darling.” Anita assured her.

“Well...” Veronica blushed, of course, taking a deep breath, she questioned. “Have one of your husbands already had problems having an erection?” now she was fully red.

Thankfully none of the other three seemed awkward with the topic. But after a moment Jim giggled.

“Well...That’s one of the perks of being in a gay relationship...Two penises.” He gave a shameless smirk, and Anita snapped his arm.

“I hate you.” Anita spoke, and she looked to the brunette. “Is this happening to John?”

That was what she didn’t want to deal with; of course it was about John, and she hadn’t known them for that long. In another time she’d have shut it down and would have tried to figure it out by herself, but right now – her marriage was going, with more ups and downs it ever had – she couldn’t do it alone. And who else she’d ask for advice? Joe?

“Yes.” Veronica bit her own lip, anxious. “I know it’s something about his age...”

“Of course, darling!” agreed Anita. “In the beginning, Brian and I were on fire. One touch and he was ready to business, and now he need some moments.”

That was the other part Veronica was afraid of: having to hear very private moments between the Queen couples.

“Oh, I remember that Freddie refused to take any energetic to help him.” Confessed Jim, scratching himself over the chair. “Which is fine, that means more foreplay time.”

They giggled with it and Anita, Jim and Veronica looked to Debbie, who was typing something on her phone. The blond woman felt the gazes on her, probably waiting her to share a story of her and Roger.

“Well, Roger and I never had problem with sex.” Debbie smirked, proud.

Anita and Jim laughed, confidently. Veronica felt a bit left out for some moments, but she couldn’t ask them to be more open than they already were with her – they had accepted her without thinking it twice, and they were now as close as they could be in such a short time.

She couldn’t repress the thought that, if John hadn’t hid all this time about his period with Queen, she could have been friends with Debbie, Anita and Jim for several years, and the woman could be laughing with that inside joke too. But, as she was discovering in the last weeks, John had done a lot of things behind her back, omitting huge parts of his own story.

Something that he shouldn’t do with his long-time partner.

 _No, Veronica_ , she thought, _you promised to move on. So move on._

“I was just worried because we did it last week, but...It has been a while, and we were trying.” Veronica decided to spill everything in the end.

“Before that, when was the last time?” questioned Jim.

“Well...” Veronica stopped a bit to think. “It was days before that barbecue we did here, before Anita and Jim arrived.”

Aware of the events during that day, Anita and Jim shared a look. A worried one, which didn’t pass unnoted by Veronica.

“What?” asked the brunette.

“Don’t mind them, Ronnie.” Debbie spoke loudly, to get their attention. “Maybe he was passing for some stress at work. It happens, and now he’s back in the game, so don’t let this fire turn off.”

Veronica smiled at her, nodding slightly, and out her sunglasses, resting on her chair.

Debbie scrolled the contact list, and found Roger’s name. She wondered if she should text him about it. Asking him to back off, or even to go back to England for a couple of weeks. It would help and not blow Veronica and John’s family.

Unfortunately, she just locked her phone and decided to enjoy the sun.

\---

Roger was with Rory and Tiger, they had said they needed an adult to pick Cameron so they could spend the afternoon at the amusement park. 

“I’m quite surprised that you made all your homework so fast.” Commented Roger, when they left their house street.

“Cam said the best shift in the park was at the afternoon, because they gave you more tickets to play.” Said Tiger. “Besides, Luke will stay more today at school, because of the american football practice.”

“Alright. And how dare americans call that game ‘football’, when the real football is ours.” Claimed Roger, amused.

Soon the three blondes were at the school, before they left the car Roger put a cap and sunglasses. The girls were giggling with his action. “What?” the blond man asked.

“Well, dad...We know you’re famous, but people here don’t make a fuss when they see someone famous.” Explained Rory, her sister nodding.

“I just don’t want high school girls throwing themselves at me and asking to marry me.”

“Ew, dad!”

They gave their identification at the administration and Rory sent a message to Cameron to meet them in the hall.

Five minutes later the boy showed up, and even though he was smiling Roger noticed that he was not at his usual self. He didn’t look happy.

“Something happened, Cameron?” asked Roger, concerned for the boy.

“It’s nothing.” Cameron’s cheeks burned, and when he saw Roger wouldn’t give up easily, he shared a quick look with Rory and Tiger, he sighed. “Just some stupid classmates saying homophobic things to me. I’m used to.”

“Hey, that’s something you shouldn’t be used to!” Roger exclaimed. Cameron just shrugged. 

“You never reported this to a teacher or the school concilier?” 

“It doesn’t matter. They won’t change.” Cameron held tighter his bag straps. “Let’s go.”

“Cameron.” The boy looked to the blond man’s direction. “I hope this doesn’t make you shut yourself down. You should be comfortable to show yourself anywhere, including here. Don’t let stupid people with small minds dictate who you are.” And Roger touched Cameron’s shoulder, giving him a warm smile.

Rory and Tiger smiled to each other. Roger accepted Ben and Tiger when they came out right away and always was proud to be their father, supporting them and going to LGBT+ parades.

Ben used to joke that his father was the ‘only cishet white man possible’.

“I know, Mr Taylor. Thank you.” Cameron felt touched with the Queen drummer’s speech.

“I’m here for you, mate.” Nodded Roger. “But right now I really need to go to the bathroom.”

Cameron Indicated the directions and Roger walked to the hall, disappearing soon.

Rory and Tiger now crossed their arms, looking to their friend with an accusatory glance.

“What now?” questioned the boy, intrigued.

“They were Luke’s friends, right? The ones who made the joke?” asked Tiger, her voice full of anger. Cameron already said to them how he had been bullied by some boys that used to hang out with his own brother.

“No.” Cameron’s tone gave him away immediately, and when Rory raised her eyebrow, the boy snorted, bitten. “Ok, yes. But, please, don’t tell your father.”

“Why not? He’d beat their arses with no time!” Rory exclaimed.

“And also he will tell my dad, and then my relationship with Luke will be ruined again. I’m almost sure he didn’t know about his friends’ behavior towards me, and we’re getting along nicely now.”

“And at what cost?”

Roger showed up at the corner again, looking more light, and Cameron looked to the two girls with something close to fear.

“Please, promise me.” Cameron begged.

They didn’t look thrilled, but Tiger groaned and said “Fine.” and she smiled when her father stopped next to them.

“Ready for an afternoon of fun?” Roger smiled, and the three teens nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the best chapter for today, but anyway...


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My bday gift from me to you :)
> 
> TW: Attempted Sexual Assault

Ben was starting to get worried about his fiancee. Joe had texted him yesterday that he was getting to the set of his new movie. It was still in the beginning of the shooting, and the ginger man was pretty excited, and the blond was helping him to rehearse the script. Joe knew that his last movie was a success but to survive in this business he needed to have more hits.

And then Joe never texted him again. It had been more than 24 hours. The british actor knew Joe’s process: sometimes he would spend hours in silence, trying to concentrate and to get in the character, but he always told him he was studying, and texted him after. However, now Joe wasn’t texting him at all.

They hadn’t had any fight or even a small disagreement at those days, which made everything weirder. Ben really wanted to give him space, but something on his guts was telling him to go see his lover.

He thought to not get right away there, so he’d stop first at Joe’s parents’ house. It was almost night when he knocked their front door, being answered quickly by John. 

“Hi, Ben.” John politely smiled. “Come on in.”

“Sorry for being here without asking” Ben showed an apologetic look, stepping in. “but Joe is here? I called him and I didn’t get any answer.”

John frowned, blinking with suspect. “Well, he texted me to meet him tonight. Something about buying Roger a gift for his upcoming birthday, but...” John took his phone and clicked at his messages. “Yeah, he never said anything else.”

Now Ben’s heart got more tight. Something was really wrong.

“Did you check his house?” John asked while he texted his son.

“His car is in front on the house, but I thought of checking here first.” The actor replied.

“Let’s go there.”

John and Ben walked to Joe’s place quicker than they had to. The oldest man was worried now; his son used to text him all the time, John teasing him sometimes he was too affectionate, but to be fair he liked that his son was like that.

Now at Joe’s front door, Ben seemed a bit afraid. One day without talking could sound nothing to some people, but not for him. Since they had started dating that was the first time Joe spent a day out of radar, so something was off.

John knocked his son’s door, waiting some moments to knock it again. Nothing.

“Joe, babe, please open the door.” Ben begged, his voice trembling because he couldn’t help to feel anxious.

“Joseph, open this door.” John sounded more demanding, even though he was also nervous.

After the fifth knock they heard someone getting close to the door the opening it.

When John and Ben looked to Joe they understood why they’re worried. The ginger man was wearing the same clothes as yesterday and his eyes were red from crying. And when Joe’s eyes landed at his fiancee, his lips trembled again and started crying again, jumping on the blond’s arms.

The other two men looked to each other, worried and intrigued with the scene, but Ben hugged the actor either way. “I got you, love.”

They got inside the house and closed the door, walking to the couch. John ran to the kitchen to get some water for his son. When he got back he saw Joe nesting at Ben’s chest. The british actor looked helplessly to his future father-in-law, who sat in the other couch spot. 

Ben caressed Joe’s hair, humming to calm him down, and the ginger was stopping his crying slowly.  
John handed the glass of water to his son and he drank it in one go. Seemed he didn’t do anything but cry God knows for how long.

“Joe, what happened?” asked John, looking to his son.

Joe cleansed his face, sniffing. “I’m so fucking embarrassed.”

“Babe, you need to tell us so we can help you.” Ben grabbed his hand, John reassuring with a strong nod.  
Joe loved the shooting day. Somehow he felt it’d be a good project. The movie cast was very good, and the script was one of the best he had read in awhile.

_The actor was taking his phone out of the pocket to text Ben about his day when the director called him to talk about a scene they should make tomorrow._

_They were chatting with enthusiasm about that day while they walked to the director room. Joe didn’t want to look too forward, but he had some things to say to the director. He always liked the movie making, and maybe someday he’d be down for being a director too; he’s a big Spielberg fan._

_The first thing he could notice was when the man locked the door. Joe was hyped with their talk to care._

_“So, I was thinking about –” Joe cut when the man grabbed by his shirt and pulling him into a kiss._

_Joe lingered some seconds to realized that his director – who he’s assumed was straight – was kissing him in the mouth, and then he put his hands on his chest and pulled him away strongly._

_“What the hell?” Joe passed his hand over his lips, disgusted._

_“Come on, Joe, I know you want this.” The man said, in a tone he’d judge as a sexy one._

_“I don’t! I’m engaged and you know that.” Joe was shocked. He respected the director until now._

_“Yup, I heard about that. You and Ben Hardy. That’s a very wet dream of mine.”_

_“Ugh, you’re disgusting!” Joe tried to walk to the door, but the man was blocking him._

_“Come on, man. Just a quick.” And he put his hand on Joe’s crotch, squeezing firmly the actor’s covered cock._

_He petrified. Joe never imagined he would pass through this, and all he wanted was to yell, but he couldn’t find his own voice._

_“I chose you because I wanted to get a piece of you. I have a thing for gingers” The man smirked, satisfied with himself. Joe started to hyperventilating. “Relax. This will stay between us.” and he leaned again._

_When he felt the director's lips on his again, Joe found his strength again and snapped his hand, making him take it away. With those few seconds of distraction Joe ran to the door and unlocked it._

_Joe was closing the door again and he heard “Hey. I meant it when I said this will stay between us.” Now the man’s tone was threatening. “Say a word about it and I will destroy your so-young career.”_

“I will kill this man!” yelled John, standing up from the couch.

“No, dad!” Joe was crying again, and grabbed his father’s arm, making him stop. “I can’t prove anything against him. We were alone.”

“But it’s not fair! He assaulted you!” John was out of his mind. And then he sat again and cupped his son’s face. “He harmed my boy.”

Joe left Ben’s embrace to hug his father, and he cried more.

He knew the industry had its dark side, with cases of alcoholism and illegal drugs till rape and abuse, but he never imagined he’d deal with something like that. And now he felt so naked, so...unprotected.

Ben and John didn’t know what to say, how to make Joe feel better. They wanted to make that sadness leave Joe, but he knew they didn’t have that power. As two persons that deeply love the ginger actor, they just wanted to take care of him.

Right now, it looked they had failed.

\--- 

Roger knocked the door while he was holding a big ice cream cake that Ben told it was Joe’s favorite. In the second knock his future son-in-law answered.

The blond man smiled at him, and in the same moment he understood. “Ben told you.” Joe stated, and he groaned, mad. “I told him to not say to anyone.”

“Hey, kid, don’t be angry with him.” Roger got into the house without Joe inviting him. “I realized something happened when I video chatted him and he seems sad. How about we talk a bit over two pieces of this beauty?”

Joe looked at him and then to the cake. So he closed the front door.

Roger noticed Joe looked thinner and paler. In fact Joe hadn’t been eating well for the last three days, only feeding himself when Ben made him to. The blond and his father were taking turns to be with him, which at first seemed annoying but deep down Joe was grateful for. Ben wasn’t there right now because he went to his flat to get some clean clothes.

Until now Joe thought the situation was only between he, Ben and his dad. He begged to not tell to his mother, and he even pretended he was with flu and asked Veronica to not visit him the next few days (a way to not fall in front of his mother). But it seemed his fiancee had to share with his father.

Just great.

Joe took two pieces of the cake and gave one to the Queen drummer. They ate most of it in silence, Joe trying to not bring the subject up. The less he talk about it the better.

“Joe, I like you because you’re Ben’s fiance and John’s son, but specially because I feel I can trust you.” That caught the ginger man’s attention, and he looked up. “So I’m going to tell you something that I never revealed to anyone, not even to my family, or to Freddie and Brian.”

“Okay.” Joe was curious now.

“So...When we got back to the studio for the second album, there was a new CEO, and he said he really liked our music and such, and then he started to stick around in the studio, watch the album recording and all.” Roger poked the cake distractingly with the spoon. “I knew something was odd, but I let it slide. It’s business.”

“Then he was talking with me, Freddie and Brian, trying to be friends. We liked, because according Brian we could make some demands and maybe he’d accept more easily. I thought it was too nice to be true.”

Roger snorted and then Joe noted how the story would end.

“One night I lingered at the studio for some stupid reason I don’t remember now, but anyway. He approached and started to cheap talk with me. Next thing I know he was with his hand on my thigh and asked me how much it’d cost for me to stay one night with him.” Roger finished, exhaling.

“So you understand me.” Joe pointed, seeing on Roger’s eyes what he was feeling now.

“But, unlike you, who were at least more polite, I kicked him in the balls.” Roger took a bite of the cake to his mouth.

Joe, without mean meaning, laughed. Maybe hearing that someone else did something made him feel a bit less sorry for himself.

“He deserved it.” Joe commented simply.

“Indeed, just like the man who assaulted you. Anyway, he never appeared at the studio again.” Roger said, clapping his hands. Seeing Joe’s eyes falling to his plate again, the blond said “At that time, twenty years ago, that’s what I could do, but the times are different now. You can accuse him formally.”

“I can’t. And it wouldn’t make any difference.” Joe sighed, tired.

Roger put his chair closer, feeling that Joe needed this. Someone who could make him do the right thing.

“It would, Joe. I bet you’re not the first one who he did this, and when you give the first step, other victims will appear.” Roger said, with an encouraging tone. “As you, they deserve to be heard.”

Joe bit his own lip. He knew that, but he was too afraid.

“But this will affect my career.” Joe commented.

“Probably, but it’ll also show how brave you are to step up for your own rights.”

A more sincere smile rose at Joe’s lips, and Roger felt he did something good there.

“I couldn’t ask for a better father-in-law.” Joe put it as a thank you.

“I’m glad you think that.” Roger blushed with the complement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a survivor, speak up about it is always the right thing to do.


	29. Chapter 29

The Queen drummer said this year he only wanted a cake, specially because of Joe (this part he didn’t say out loud), and of course Freddie ignored his friend’s asking and organized a big party, with a lot of food and drinks.

“Thanks for being so thoughtful about my desires when you’re a guest in my own house.” Roger smiled sarcastically.

“You can try to be passive-aggressive with me all you want, blondie, I don’t care.” Freddie winked and took a sip of his drink.

“Joe and his family are coming already? I’m hungry.” Rory cried.

Roger and Ben shared a look. Some days ago Joe was counting for this event – because he bought an amazing gift to the oldest man – but now he only got out of the house so his mother didn’t found it suspicious.

He didn’t want to alarm her until the bomb came. And by bomb it meant the sexual assault accusation he had done at Police some days ago.

“They will come soon.” And when Brian shut his mouth the bell was heard. 

The birthday man answered the door. And he smiled when he saw the Deacons, each one hugging him before step inside the door. Joe lingered his hug a bit more, trying to out all his gratitude at that display of affection.

“Happy birthday, Rog.” Said Joe when he pulled away.

“I’m glad you’re here.” The man didn’t say much because Veronica was behind them.

Veronica gave a quick hug and commented “I’m sorry my hands are empty, but my husband said he gave the gift without me.”

“Yeah, he did.” Roger pulled out the necklace he’s wearing. A delicate golden dolphin was hanging there. “Thank you, Veronica.”

“Don’t thank me. John said you’d like, even though I had my doubts, which shows I was clearly wrong.” She pointed to the necklace, politely smiling. “He said you liked dolphins so much.”

“They are fascinating animals. Smart, very easygoing and –”

“ – ‘and as cute as me’. He always said that.” John completed, stopping next to his wife.

“And I kept standing by that.” Roger smirked, proud.

John hated how Roger was aging so fine. The blond man was the personification of everything a rockstar wanted to be, with his perfect bone structure and sassy attitude, and he pulled it off easily. 

Veronica looked to them frowning, feeling odd seeing they sharing a too-long glance.

“Let’s get inside, honey?” asked Veronica.

“Yeah, folks, let’s start the party.” Roger said, with too much enthusiasm.

\---

The group was having dinner – which in the end Roger had to agree was great, making Freddie proudly say “You welcome, you old owl” – and the drummer was sensing the cake part was getting closer. So, before that, he needed to say some words.

He stood up and cleared his throat, getting everyone’s attention. “Well, I don’t like to talk much during birthdays because I get emotional, and I don’t look nice crying.” The guests and his family laughed. “But I think this year I have to. This year I’m thankful to be here, with all of you, and to be fair I’ve never been happier.” Roger’s blue eyes started to dangerously shine. “And this just happened because of these two.”

Roger pointed to his son and Joe. The two men smiled to each other and then to the drummer.

“This could be a disaster. We almost made a disaster, trying to tear you apart.” Roger laughed, almost crying. “But you two showed that love is strong, and can pass any barriers.”

Something at Brian’s head alarmed him, so he giggled and comment “Getting old gets you emotional, Roger.”

Sensing the same, Freddie added “You better not drink more, blondie.” And made some of them laugh too.

Anita could feel John holding his breath next to her.

“I know that sometimes having a big family, specially ours, with three uncles and one aunt as extra” Roger joked, signing to his bandmates and their partners “can be too much, and that’s why I made something.”

Roger took something from his pocket and handed to the grooms. Ben and Joe opened their mouths, shocked.

“A trip to Europe?” Joe thought he was dreaming.

“Just to take a break.” Roger said, almost coyly.

The two actors looked at him with acknowledgement. They knew it wasn’t about the wedding or about the families issues. It’s a way to take Joe out of there so he could breath.

“Rog, love, as much as I think they can travel anytime they want” Debbie spoke. “they shouldn’t be away just now. There’s tons of things to choose and to...”

“Debbie, it’s just for a week. Soon they will be back again.” Roger sounded too careless.

Debbie looked to Veronica, who clearly was thinking the same.

“Thank you, dad. You’re the best.” Ben turned around the table and hugged his father.

“You are the best, Rog. That’s very thoughtful.” Joe smiled, almost crying.

“Please, don’t boost his ego this much, or we won’t handle it.” Jim begged, making everyone laugh.

Freddie, who had escaped for two minutes of the dinner table without anyone noticing, was now holding a cake, singing Happy Birthday to his best friend. Everyone sang too, Rory shifting to his father and hugging him too, Roger welcoming her with a kiss on her hair.

John felt some pressure over his belly and legs watching Roger so bright, and the pressures found each other when he saw Roger blowing the candles.

Fuck, he couldn’t be h...No, not here, not right now.

“So, dad, what did you wish for?” asked Rory, curious.  
Roger turned his eyes until he found scared green ones. “Sometimes it’s better not wish for anything, honey. Some dreams are too dangerous if they come true.”

Veronica thought how unusual was for John to hold her tight just in that moment.

\---

She lied.

Veronica said she had with a big headache and needed to rest, John going with her. Ben assured them he would let Cameron and Luke at home after.

She had never liked to lie, but right now the woman wanted to.

And right now, with her tights around John’s waist while she kissed hungrily his lips, she didn’t mind.

Veronica had needs.

Her head got blank for few seconds when she felt John on her. She gasped with the pleasure. Twenty-two years together and still felt so good everytime he took her.

She was chasing John’s eyes, but he didn’t open them. Her husband always liked eye-contact, and right now he wasn’t making any.

John, right now, was focusing in a high pitched voice saying _harder, fuck me harder_. So there was no need to look at Veronica, or else he could lose his pace.

When Veronica came, it was a new sensation. Her whole body was satisfied, but her mind wasn’t.

Something was missing.

John giggled, his body so relaxed right now. And he saw Veronica walking to the bathroom, and just by her walk he could see something was wrong.

Missing and wrong.

Veronica was in the half of her bath when John wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her wet back. Maybe thinking about a second round. But now she was tired.

She turned around, breathing heavily, and John looked at her, waiting for her words.

“Do you still love me, John?” asked Veronica.

John blinked, surprised. “Where is this coming from?”

“It’s a very common question.”

“Which you have never asked me.”

Veronica took another deep breath. “Just answer me, John. Do you still love me?”

John felt trapped. Somehow he heard Roger yelling at him, months ago. _You’re not gonna leave again!_

He just kissed his wife, slowly and with passion. It was not an answer, but she let herself get deluded by it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trouble in paradise...


	30. Chapter 30

Before Joe could go to his trip, he needed to do something, so, after taking his breakfast, he went to his parents’ house, and found them still having breakfast. 

“Where are Cam and Luke?” asked Joe. The really didn’t want to talk about that in front of his brothers.

“I just drove them to school.” Replied Veronica.

“Everything is okay, dear? Lately you seem a bit...different.”

Damn right he was.

Joe sat next to Veronica and John, something on the ginger’s eyes made the oldest man realize what he was about to do.

“I have something to tell you, mom.” Joe closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. It was harder than he imagined.

“You don’t have to do this, Joe.” John whispered, confidently.

Veronica didn’t like that tone in her husband.

“But I have to.” Joe said, more firmly. “Mom, something happened.” Joe looked at her, and Veronica just nodded, even though she didn’t know what it was. “I’ve...I’ve got assaulted by my director.”

The woman got shocked in the next seconds, covering her mouth with her hand. The other one slowly landed at Joe’s wrist, gripping it with strength.

“I said first to dad and Ben, and then I pressed charges against him. The story will leak next week.” Joe spoke very fast, a mix of wanting to finish the story soon and to make his guilt for not telling his mother sooner disappear.

Veronica got up and walked to his son, and wrapped him on a hug. Joe felt secure around her arms, and let her caress his red hair and accept the kisses on his head.

“Joseph, I’m so sorry.” Veronica sounded emotional, and Joe thought it’d be best not to see his mom crying or he’d cry too. “I’d rather go through this myself than any of my kids.”

“Mom, don’t say this. Anyway” Joe felt better and looked up, with a weak smile. “I’m not in that production anymore, and this trip came in just a perfect time. I bet the reporters would hunt me down if I was here.”

Veronica kissed his forehead with caring. “But, Joe, are you sure this trip is good for you? That’s okay if you want skip that.” And then she remember a fact Joe told her. “John, you knew this?”

“Yeah, Ronnie, but Joe asked to not tell you.” John felt a bit guilt for not say anything for her.

“And no, mom. I want to go.” Joe assured. “Mr Taylor is being so good to me. By the way he actually helped to be brave enough to formally accuse him.”

“What?”

At this moment John knew they two were screwed. Veronica’s lips were just a tiny line, pressed one on the another.

“Roger knew about my story and he convinced me to not be silent about it.” Joe seemed so proud of himself that he didn’t even realize the way his mother was looking at him.

Veronica felt so small, with zero value. Just like she had felt in the last few months. She wasn’t worthed anything to her family anymore.

“So Roger Taylor knew about this but not me?” Veronica was trembling, and at this point she didn’t know if it’s out of anger or sadness.

Joe noticed he messed up. “Mom, it’s not like that. I didn’t tell...”

“Your father-in-law knew that all along but I, the person that gave you birth, didn’t.”

“Veronica, calm down.” Asked John, a bit alarmed. He knew all the levels of upsetness of his wife, and this one was very rare. 

And that’s why he was so scared to see its range.

“I can understand to tell to your father, and even to your fiance, but Roger?” Veronica made a disgusting face, and started to massage her temples.

“Joe didn’t tell him, Ronnie. He figured...” John tried to help, but he got cut.

“For how long were you all fooling me? I bet even Rory and Tiger knew this already. I got played, _again_.”

“Mom!” Joe exclaimed, really badly surprised of what this turned into.

“I need to lay down a bit. Please, don’t follow me.” Veronica walked to her bedroom, and they’re too astonished to actually follow her.

Joe and John exchanged a look, one more intrigued than the other.

“What the hell just happened?” Joe asked.

\---

Veronica didn’t left the room until midday. John thought it’d be best not to disturb her, so he made lunch, and in the middle of the cooking he received a call from Brian.

“Hey, mate.” The Queen guitar player sounded excited. “Do you think you can come over today? Freddie wrote a very nice song and we need you to approve it.”

“Approve what?” John was playing dumb, because the roar inside his chest was too good but it must be ignored.

“Approve the song, of course. Bands still do this, you know?”

John smiled alone, feeling glad that no one was around to see him looking like a teen being asked to go to the prom. “I’d love to, but I can’t. Family issues.”

He wanted to talk with someone so bad about it, probably with his friends. Freddie and Brian would know how to fix it. Roger probably would just be there for moral support.

“Sorry to hear it. Do you think it’d be fixed soon?” Brian asked, curious.

“I don’t know. But ask Freddie to send me the lyrics and sing it to me. That’s why tech is for.”

“Tell this to that old tree.” Giggled Brian, making John do the same.

His youngest sons came home after lunch, Luke talking how awesome his practice was today. Cameron, on the other hand, seemed unhappy with something.

“Looks your day at school wasn’t as good as Luke’s.” John spoke lightly, and the boy just shrugged. “Something happened, kid?”

Cameron looked at his father in silence for too long, but in the end he decided to not talk about how some boys filled his bag with garbage. “Just bored, dad.”

“Okay, then.” John didn’t buy it, but he decided to not push it.

“Where’s mom?”

“She argued with Joe and she’s a bit mad today.”

“Why?”

John didn’t know what Joe thought about telling his brothers about everything. So he escaped through the easiest way.

“I don’t know.” Lied John. And with that he saw Cameron sighed loudly, which was unusual coming from him. “What, Cam?”

Cameron spoke, a bit tired “It’s just...We’re arguing a lot at these times. It sucks.”

John couldn’t agree more. And he knew it was his fault.

\---

In the beginning of the night Joe heard the bell on his house. He imagined it was Ben. They weren’t sleeping apart at ages, and the blond said he was already coming at his place (a little too fast, it seemed like).

But it was Veronica. Joe blinked, surprised; his mother didn’t use to go there at this time. But her face showed a big amount of guilt.

“Can we talk?” Veronica asked, too polite even at her own standards.

“You don’t need to ask me that, mom.” Joe smiled, and let her in.

They walked to his bedroom, since Joe was already packing, – the trip was in two days and he was a bit nervous, so he decided to pack earlier – Veronica sat at the bed.

She cried, a lot. Because of what happened with Joe, because what Joe and John did and because of what she said and did with Joe. At the end of the day she felt herself as a terrible mother. So, even though her mother instincts said to her to stay with Joe to talk with her, the woman gave the first step. 

At this job there was no need to be proud. Even though sometimes she was.

“Joe, I acted poorly earlier.” Veronica looked at him, devastated. “What kind of mother would lay down and rest when her son just told her about being assaulted?”

The actor sat next to her and hugged her shoulders, kindly. “Mom, that’s okay. You got upset with the whole thing. People say things when they’re upset.”

“No, dear, don’t find excuses for what I did. I was selfish, and I’m extremely sorry for it.” 

“I forgive you, mom.” Joe leaned and kissed her cheek, Veronica smiling with the gesture. A tear or two rolled at her face.

The woman touched Joe’s face, admiring him. “Remember when you came out to me when you were nine?” Joe giggled quickly, nodding after. “You said you wanted to give a flower to your classmate, but you were too afraid, and I helped you to write a letter.”

“I never gave him that damn letter.” Confessed Joe. “I’m glad I didn’t, or else my friendship with Rami would be pretty weird.”

“And when you came out to the whole family, years after, I was damn proud of you. As I am now.” Veronica kissed his son’s cheeks. “You must know I’m grateful for you being just like that. You’re amazing, Joe.”

“I was so afraid to tell you” Joe started to cry. “because saying to you it meant it was real, and I didn’t want that to be real. I didn’t.”

Joe laid down on Veronica’s lap, and she caressed his arms, comforting him. “I’m here, baby. I’m here.”

They stayed there for some minutes and then Joe straighten up, cleansing his face, Veronica helping him too.

“When you said Roger knew about it, I felt worthless.” Veronica spoke, a bit shy. “It’s like...I’m your damn mother, I supposed to know these things.”

“I’m sorry that you imagined that I told Roger.” Apologized Joe. “In fact, Ben told him, and he came here on his own. And as I said, he was indeed crucial to help me to back up.”

Veronica snorted. She’d been there too many times for such a very small time period.

“To be fair, I wasn’t mad at you, even though it sounded like.” Veronica said, still not looking at Joe’s eyes. “I was mad at John, actually.”

“With dad?? Why?” 

The woman bit her own lip. If she spoke out loud it’d sound childish.

“It’s because...John has hidden too many things from this family for too long. And he seems too comfortable with it.” Veronica felt her throat dry. “And I don’t like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting warmer...


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really hope Ben and Joe speak up soon about BLM bc so far I'm very disappointed with them

John was taking his bass and amp to go to Roger’s house. It had been a while since he went there to record anything, and he couldn’t ignore Freddie anymore.

Veronica was watching TV when the man passed by in the hall, looking very happy, and the woman started it. “Going somewhere?”

“Oh, yes. Roger’s. Need to record something or this album won’t be releasing.” Said John, walking to her, and kissing her forehead.

“But I thought we could enjoy a day to ourselves.” Veronica straightened up, turning to her husband, touching his clothed chest in a soft manner. “Cameron and Luke will only get home in two hours, so...”

John blinked, understanding what she wanted. It was appealing...but so was the album recording.

“Sorry, Ronnie. I already committed with them, and they need the bass player.” John sounded guilty.

Veronica snorted, frustrated, and looked down. “It can be any bass player.” Murmured the woman.

“What?” he didn’t hear her properly.

Veronica had tried, in the last few weeks, to stay calm with John. Every concession she made, all over the years – when he had begged to go to America, because somehow England wasn’t a good place for him to be in that moment, when she accepted his selfish pride to not look for a better job, some small fights that she had had to give in because he couldn’t say sorry to her, now all the lies about Queen – was boiling on her veins and made her wonder things that she never did before.

“I just...” Veronica could feel her throat hurting. She wanted to cry, but she wouldn’t; she was a grown woman, and crying like a teenager wasn’t something that looked good on her. “We need moments alone, and I feel like I shouldn’t be begging for having them with my husband.”

John was confused. That didn’t sound like Veronica at all. “Ronnie...It’s just an afternoon with my mates.”

“Is it? Because this ‘afternoon’” she even made the air quotes. “is getting longer than I imagined. It looks like you wanted them to call you back for the band.”

“I’m bonding again with Roger, wasn’t that what this family wanted??” John was now exasperated.

“We wanted that you two stopped barking at each other, but I didn’t imagine that you would stick every bloody night on a studio with people you haven’t seen in decades, and now you’re recording an album!”

Maybe that wasn’t the best time to tell her that the only person he hadn’t been in touch for all these years had been Roger.

“I’m not warming anyone with this. They are just some riffs.” The burnet tried to be reasonable, although bit more anxious with his tone than necessary.

“But you didn’t ask me first. You just threw it in my face! I’m your damn wife, the one you are suppose to share a life with, remember?”

Hearing those words from Veronica’s mouth was weird. It sounded like she didn’t agree with his participation in the Queen album.

But then she did more.

“John...Do you want to get back on Queen?” Veronica looked at him, with expecting eyes.

The air was getting thin on the man’s lungs.

“I need to go there. Lately you’ve been making silly questions, Ronnie.” John quickly walked to the front door.

He practically ran towards his car and tried to calm himself down before he turned it on.

John couldn’t let his teen wishes win; he was on his forties, he couldn’t just start all over, with a new career. Trying new things wasn’t on his menu anymore.

Either way, he thought while went out of his street, he was doing it.

\---

Brian, Roger and John were listening Freddie sing his new song, each one doing their beats: Roger clapping on his legs, Brian with his eyes closed and swinging his head, John moving his fingers around an invisible bass. It was their process to feel and understand the song.

In the end Freddie looked at them and asked “So...Pretty good, hun?”

“Amazing, as always, Freddie.” Smiled John.

Brian stayed silent, which was unusual, and by his face, he was thinking very hard on something. After some moments he blinked, unsure.

“We don’t have a ballad in this album.” Stated Brian. “All of our albums have had at least one.”

“Brian complaining for the lack of love songs. That’s a first.” Teased Roger, smirking.

“Oh, Deaky! You should write one!” exclaimed Freddie, excited.

John blinked, a bit shocked with the request. He hadn’t written songs in a long time, and to be fair songwriting was never his strength. His only released song was _Spread Your Wings_ , and he was very surprised that people had liked it.

And then, after an hour without thinking about it, John remembered his little fret with Veronica. Writing a song sounded would be like being too attached too the band. Even though he wanted to say yes, his reason was telling him to decline.

“Are you sure, Freddie?” asked Roger, looking to the main singer. “I mean, John likes to stay unknown, and when his name appears as a song composer...People will start to bother him.”

 _Unknown_. That sounded so...depressing.

“His name will appear at the technical team, so potato, potato.” Freddie didn’t see the problem. He turned around to the youngest man. “So, Deaky, can you write a ballad for us?”

“Ah...” John looked to them, still not knowing what to say. “Can I at least think about it?”

“What do you need to think of, Deaky?” Roger didn’t understand him.

John blushed before speaking “Veronica and I argued earlier, about me being too committed with Queen. Complained about me not asking for her opinion before I accepted your offer to participate in the album recording.”

“But, hum, is there a reason for her to be so worried about?” Brian asked.

“I guess...I don’t know, maybe the fact that I never told her about my life in Queen and anything in between really made her upset.” John was ashamed, but he wasn’t sorry.

“I never truly understood why you never told her about us.” Commented Roger, and John looked at him, a bit shocked with his choice of words.

He was never ready to talk about Queen, or _anything in between_.

Brian saw a weird shine on the drummer’s blue eyes.

“I mean… Was there something you were afraid of?” Roger questioned, with an expectant face.

John could feel his hands itching, seeking to touch some flesh. The stare of the blond on him was so strong, so visceral…

“How about” Freddie’s voice was loud, making the other three jump. “we record this album? There’s no need to think about the past. As I always said, only look forward.”

“Alright.” Roger showed a too polite smile. “Brian and John can start while I make us all some tea.”

The drummer walked to the studio door, and turned around to see John talking something with Brian.

Their eyes found each other for one second. 

John didn’t need to answer him. He already knew the answer.

\---

The harmony was already made, and Freddie was more than satisfied. Brian had asked to go over it one more, to make another guitar solo (“just to make sure”) but Roger said it was already too late and they all needed to sleep if they wanted to embark Joe and Ben tomorrow morning.

John lost his track of time. Looking at his watch, he cursed; it was almost 10 pm, Veronica would kill him by now. Freddie and Brian said good night to their friend and walked out, letting the two youngest men alone.

Roger waited a moment, thinking if he should meddle. But he chose do it anyway.

“John, you know you’re not being forced to finish this album, right?” Roger spoke, trying not to put his hopes on his tone. “I mean, if it’s messing with your marriage...”

John let out a humourless laugh. This album was the last thing that was messing with his marriage.

“None of us would mind, Deaky.” Continued Roger.

“But I will. This makes me feel alive, Rog.” The man showed a painful smile. “Veronica asked me if I wanted to get back on Queen. Just like you did.” John saw Roger nodding, without saying a word. “Would you?”

“In a heartbeat.”

Roger patted his hand on John’s thigh, he squeezed it at the end. He never tore his eyes away from the brunet man. And John, without thinking much, rested his hand above Roger’s, his mouth suddenly getting dry. 

Both men were shaking.

“Rog, I wonder where...” they both turned around when they heard the voice.

Debbie started when Roger and John, but she registered John moving his hand away from her husband’s.

“Did you see my phone somewhere?” Debbie asked, rigid.

“I guess I saw it in the kitchen.” Roger replied, a bit uncomfortable.

“Thanks. Freddie said the recording is over, so John, should I get a guest room for you?” 

Roger got shocked with Debbie’s sharp question, and John blushed with it.

“No, I’m already going home. I guess I see you two tomorrow morning in the airport.” John nodded to Roger, and walked out of the studio as fast as he could.

Roger checked if John had already left the house so he could turned to Debbie. “What the hell was that?”

“From now on you won’t be alone with John in any moment until we go back to England.” Demanded the blond woman. “I will let Freddie and Brian know about it too. I tried to understand you, Rog, I really did, but now I see. You both will destroy our families, and I cannot allow it.”

And she marched out of the room.

\---

The families were hugging Joe and Ben, wishing them a safe flight and asking them to call the moment they landed at Europe. Ben had planned everything: two days in Italy, two days in France, one day at Germany and two days at England. Joe was excited to finally spend some quality time at England – the press tour was been very stressful and he only had had one night to enjoy with Ben and Rory and Tiger.

They were already at the plane and Joe was already putting his earphones when Ben opened his hand in front of him. On his palm there was a key.

“What is this?” asked Joe, curious.

“It’s the key to one of my dad’s properties.” Ben had a naughty smile. “He never let anyone go there but himself. Once I took the original key and made this copy. Thought we could spend one night there, what do you think?”

“Your dad gave us this trip and this is how you want to reward him, Benny?” but Joe was laughing.

“He will never know.” Ben gave the ginger man a peck. “This trip will be awesome.” He promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting warmer...


	32. Chapter 32

Debbie was sending some details on the menu for the reception to some food suppliers. She needed to do everything she could without the grooms presence. To be honest, the woman didn’t know where she had had with her mind when she accepted to do this. It was so many small things and Ben and Joe didn’t help much.

A fucking trip when the wedding was a few months ahead! That’s why sometimes Debbie hated her husband.

Anita and Jim got back for their daily run around the block, chatting about some thing Freddie did last night.

“Still trying to find an american who makes a british proper wedding meal, honey?” asked Anita, looking at her friend.

“If we were in England everything would be easier.” Groaned Debbie. “All our relatives will have to come all way from there for this wedding, and...” her eyes wided. “Oh, fuck! We need to book tons of hotel rooms! We need the confirmation way before, maybe for this month yet, and –”

“Debbie, take a breath.” Asked Jim, holding her hand. “You should call Ronnie, so she can help you. Or else you’ll lose your mind.”

“We can help you too, if you want to.” Anita added, Jim nodding. “I don’t even know why you never asked for help.”

Debbie let a tired groan escape. “I don’t know. Just trying to be the supermom.”

“Nonsense! You don’t need this.” Jim kissed her cheek. “Let me take a bath and we’ll figure this out.

“I need a bath too.” Said Anita, and the both went upstairs.

Moments later the doorbell sang, and Debbie walked to the door. She wasn’t expecting anyone.

The blondie looked surprised when she saw Veronica at the door, and she walked inside without greeting her first.

“Oh, hi, Ronnie. Are you okay?” Debbie was intrigued; Ronnie had never gone to her house without calling first, and she was clearly upset.

“Stupid book club.” Spitted out Veronica, walking around the living room, out of her mind. “It was my turn to pick a book, and I already made a decision. Pet Semetary by Stephen King.”

“Wow. Dark.” 

“But brainless Clare said that it was Jullie’s turn to pick the book.” Veronica stopped and looked to Debbie, sadder about that than seemed reasonable. “It was my turn to pick the book! My turn!”

Of course it was nothing related to the book club, but Veronica needed to vent somehow what was really bothering her.

“Okay, honey.” Debbie gave her an emphatic smile. “Let me get some wine and we can talk about it.”

Veronica just nodded and went to sit on the couch, her lips trembling.

While Debbie was grabbing wine and a pair of glasses, Anita and Jim went downstairs and saw their friend in the living room. “Oh, she’s already here. That was fast.” Commented Anita, smiling.

“No.” Debbie sounded worried. “She just came here and...Whatever, go there and talk with her.” She handed them the wine and the glasses. “I need to grab two more glasses.”

Anita and Jim didn’t argue and did as she said. Debbie took a deep breath after she found the glasses. Her guts were telling it was too dangerous.

When she got back to the living room, Veronica was already crying, and Anita and Jim seemed confused, unprepared to that scene.

“She took the bloody bottle out of my hand and is drinking right from the neck!” whispered Jim, alarmed.

“They disrespected me!” exclaimed Veronica, hot tears rolling on her face, Anita next to her was nodding. “Years of being in that fucking book club and that’s what I get!”

And she took another large gulp of the wine. She didn’t even frown.

“Guess we need another bottle, then.” Anita said, standing up and walking away.

For Debbie what she was watching was absurd. Veronica was a very centered woman, very polished and gentle. Even though now they were as close as they could be – she could say friends, perhaps – with them gossiping around and sharing some laughs that maybe the blonde woman had never imagined she could with Veronica, the first moment she saw her. Ben’s mother could never imagine she would see her son’s mother-in-law falling into pieces like that.

She could sense that Veronica, even in their most intimate moments, had trouble to open herself up with her, which was plausible; she was british, she wasn’t taught to trust easily on people. But Debbie could say they had done a huge progress in their relationship. She had never imagined they would accomplish that in such a short time. That was because Veronica tried to be her friend, despite her own regards.

And now the person in front of her was someone who was strangled by Veronica herself. 

Someone she didn’t allow people to see, someone that maybe her kids had never seen.

Someone broken.

Debbie didn’t even realized that Ronnie had already finished the bottle of wine all by herself.

“We’re back. That was another bottle of wine, but now we’ll share with friends, right, Ronnie?” Jim said, taking out the stopper, and putting the wine in the glasses.

Veronica drank his glass of wine in one go.

“Why are you doing this? She shouldn’t drink anymore.” Debbie hissed at her friends.

“Debbie, she clearly needs to talk.” Anita pointed out to the other woman, who was holding tight her empty glass. “So we’ll help.”

“But what if –”

“That’s above your or my hands, sweetheart.” Jim said, smiling sadly to her as he filled Veronica’s glass again.

“Why don’t people respect me, Debbie?” asked Veronica, breathing heavily.

“Why are you saying this?” Debbie asked back, having a hunch, and really hoping she was wrong.

Debbie, Anita and Jim looked at her, expecting, and in that moment Veronica drank the wine, in slow sips, until she left the glass empty again.

She took a deep breath and said “I’ve been so frustrated lately. It’s like...I want to scream!” 

And Veronica yelled, scaring the other ones. Seeing their faces, Veronica laughed, and her glass slipped out of her hand, falling on the floor and breaking instantly.

“Oops.” She said, putting her hands on the mouth. “I’m breaking things, just like John.”

“Is everything okay?” Tiger asked, showing her head at the stairs, Rory next to her.

“Just a broken glass, dear.” Answered Debbie, and she saw the teens disappearing again.

Debbie shared a glance with Anita and Jim, scared with Veronica’s last comment. The woman was crying again.

“Should we...?” asked Anita. “I mean, it sounds like.”

“We can be wrong.” Jim bit his own lip, apprehensive.

Debbie closed her eyes, tired. It’d be a mess, but she must ask the question. “Ronnie, what’s going on between you and John?”

“We are so...” Veronica’s eyes were lightless. “off. It’s like we weren’t ourselves.”

“Has something happened for you to come to this?”

The woman looked to the ground, trying to find the words, or her courage. “I used to think I knew my husband, and I didn’t have to worry with him, but lately...I’ve only been proving myself wrong. Sometimes I watch him sleep, and I can’t recognize the man I fell in love.”

Fuck.

Debbie promised herself, in the moment she would really start to care about Ronnie, she’d stop meddling, that she’d make Roger step away and not blow the bond the Taylors and Deacons were creating. Because beyond Ben and Joe’s union, their other kids were getting along, John was getting closer to the band again and they could be a big and happy family.

And right now, with Veronica’s statement, Debbie knew everything could change.

“Couples have their moments.” Jim gave his opinion. “Freddie and I almost broke up tons of times. Love is hard.”

“Brian and myself too, Ronnie.” Agreed Anita. “He even wrote a song about it, because according of him I was ‘too demanding’.”

Veronica looked at Debbie, waiting for her contribution, but she just shrugged. Her married life with Roger was pretty boring, actually. She would laugh if the timing wasn’t right.

“But that’s not the only moment I felt like that.” Veronica’s voice was heavy. The alcohol was doing its effects. “The first years were hard. We got married in a hurry, because I got pregnant of Joe, so we didn’t know each other that well for us to make such a big decision. We needed to adapt ourselves to each other. We used to argue after Joe fell asleep.”

“You always seemed so fine.” Anita commented, without thinking.

Veronica scoffed. “To reach this ‘fine’ we had to suck up a lot of things. Mostly me. John is a good man, but he’s also a pain in the arse.” She felt her throat hurt. “At least one day he was a good man.” She looked to them, hopeless. “It’s weird to say it out loud, because I know the vision my kids have of my marriage, but maybe...maybe I’m not the right person for John, and maybe he feels that way too.”

After that Veronica started to talk incomprehensive words, and Debbie thought it’d be better that she had a hot bath to sober her up, so she asked Anita to prepared it and Jim to help their friend to at least climb upstairs.

Debbie decided to organize the wedding papers. It was useless to do anything else after that. Maybe tomorrow it’d be better.

The front door got opened, and Debbie saw Roger getting inside, the man soon looked at something next to the couch.

“Wow, someone broke a glass of my favorite set.” Roger commented, frowning to his wife.

“Veronica wasn’t good and drank too much.” Said her.

She had a tough task to do. She could see, in the middle of a lot of darkness and mess, a point of light. Because she understood one thing: nothing could tear a strong feeling apart. She knew that damn well.

Debbie wasn’t stupid, of course it’d be scratches anyway. She should be prepared.

“I feel Ronnie is unhappy with her marriage. And so is John.” She spoke.

Roger looked agaped with her words, and blinked. His blue eyes changed colour.

“So?” he asked.

“Be wise.” Debbie didn’t have any advice.

It’s up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's getting warmer...


	33. Chapter 33

Joe was enjoying the trip very much. Ben had really planned all their moments, and since he knew very well all the countries they were going, he took the ginger too all the touristic places, let him take a lot of pictures. All the days were full with a lot of activities – museums, restaurants, historical buildings – so Joe could forget a little his problems.

In a way, he was succeeding.

“Am I selfish for not wanting to go back home?” asked Joe, smiling, when they were going to England. “This trip is amazing.”

“You can say out loud that you’re also liking to have me all for yourself, Joe.” Teased Ben, kissing his neck.

“Well...The trip is better.” Joe smirked, and the blond actor made a mocking angry face.

“You take that back!”

“Or what?”

“Or...Or I’m not marrying you anymore!”

Joe cupped Ben’s face and kissed him with passion, letting his lips fit with the other man’s, moving his face while humming content.

“You could never survive without my kisses, Ben.” Joe said when he pulled away.

“You’re mean, but you’re also right.” Bem leaned again, kissing him again.

At this moment Joe was as happy as he could be.

\---

When the couple arrived at London, they went straight to Roger’s house. Joe felt it wasn’t right to go there without the owner knowing – even though it was his fiancee’s dad – but Ben said he had always been very curious to know the place. The ginger could see the childish excitement on his eyes.

“I was planning to come to here with you after the wedding, but since we got an earlier trip...” Ben smiled and opened the front door.

It looked like a mid-class british house, and it seemed it had been cleaned recently. Ben wasn’t as impressed as he wanted to be.

“Well, that’s a bummer.” Spoke the blond man, looking around. “I imagined it would be like a cassino or with lots of forbidden books.”

“Are you serious?” laughed Joe with his lover’s imagination.

“I thought that when I was eight, so give me a break.” Ben took his bags and climbed upstairs, Joe following him.

They found a clean bedroom and put their bagages there, Joe sitting on the bed while Ben started to walk around the room, contemplative.

“Maybe your dad just wanted a place to write his songs. This seems a musician thing.” Joe commented, looking to the blond, but the latter just shook his head, without stopping.

“No, he always wrote his songs at home, or at the studio. Dad comes here every 22 of May, without fail.”

“May 22.” Corrected Joe.

“Joe.”

“Sorry.”

“Since I can remember he comes here, but only on that day. Something important happens or happened with him on this day.”

“Maybe he has an affair with a ghost, that can only turn into a human form at May 22.”

“Ha ha, very funny, Joe.” Ben rolled his eyes, amused.

“Ben, I’m sure your father has good reasons to come here every year, but right now _we_ are here.” Joe gave a more intimate smile.

The blond heard his tone and went closer to the bed. “You’re right.”

Standing in front of the ginger, the british actor saw Joe undoing his belt, and zipping down his pants. “So we should use it properly, don’t you think?”

Ben bit his lips while Joe put down his pants. “We’re going to meet Lucy, Rami and Gwil for dinner, honey.”

“In two hours.” Joe smirked when he touched his fiancee’s clothed cock, making the blond man groan, and started to take off Ben’s black underwear.

\--- 

Joe and Ben were aware it was tonight when Lucy would propose to Rami in the moment they saw their friend. She smiled brightly to them and hugged them. The actress was shaking.

“Oh my god, Lucy!” exclaimed Joe, smiling. “Are you going to – ”

“Shhh, Joe!” the woman cut him, but smiled, excited.

“Yes. I wanted you two to be present. You’re important for our story.”

“Owww, how cute, Lucy.” Ben melted, kissing her cheek.

“Finally, boys!” Rami showed up, content to see the other couple. “Gwil texted me, he’s on his way, unfortunately his fiancee is out of town. Come get inside.”

Rami was now living in London with Lucy, which made Joe a bit sad, for his longest friend living so far away from him, but seeing how happy he was, the ginger actor knew he’d made a good choice. Joe remembered how hard it had been for Rami to date someone, and got a bit worried of how fast things happened between he and Lucy, but it was clear that they were made for each other.

Lucy and Rami gave the other couple a quick tour for the house, Rami admitting most of the things were from Lucy (“since she’s the one with better taste”), and the last stop being in the small cellar they had, so they could choose a wine for the night.

Rami’s phone buzzed and he looked up. “Gwil is here. Let me open for him.” and he left.

The other three waited a minute so they could speak freely.

“Where’s the ring? I can’t believe Rami never found it, he’s so noisy.” Commented Joe, making the two blonds laugh.

“I know, so I had to give it to my mom, and she gave it back last night.” Lucy showed the small box Joe and Ben had seen months ago, putting it away quickly on his pocket again. “Let’s go back, before he gets suspicious.”

The rest of the evening was good. The five friends catched up: Gwilym would start to shoot a new british series, Lucy was called for an american tv show and Rami was negotiating a new movie. Joe and Ben, after, showed all the pictures of their trip, Joe remembering funny anecdotes to tell his friends.

“He forgot the painting name.” The ginger man was laughing, Lucy, Rami and Gwil doing the same. Ben was embarrassed but tried to play cool.

“I was tired, the Louvre is huge!” explained Ben.

“It’s fucking Monalisa, love, how could you possibly forget its name?” Joe saw his fiancee looking at him; he was making fun of him since the day it happened. “Okay, okay, I swear I will stop.”

“Oh, guys, I’ve missed this.” Rami smiled, drinking a bit more of red wine. “Us together.”

“He’s getting sentimental too early, Lucy. Control your man.” Teased Gwil.

“I mean it. Joe and I already had a bond before, but I met you, and my life changed.” The man raised his glass. “This is a night to remember.”

Joe and Ben saw the moment Lucy put her hand inside her pocket.

“It is, indeed.” Lucy said, and she took a deep breath. “Rami.”

The four men looked to Lucy, and on her hand was a box. Her boyfriend’s eyes got wider when he figured it out.

“There’s not the better time than today, together with the friends that helped us to be together, even when I thought that dating a project colleague was just a delusion of acting magic, and we’d be doomed of failu–”

“Lucy, ask him the question.” Ben said, nodding.

“She should’ve written it down.” Joe whispered to the blond.

“She probably wrote it down.” He whispered back.

“What I want to say is...” Lucy’s clear eyes were wet. “I don’t care what I thought before you. Everyday you show me how life can be way different from what I’ve always imagined. I want you to keep showing me this, until the end of our lives.” She opened the box, revealing the ring. “Rami Malek, would you –”

Rami shook his head. “Yes.”

Everyone softly laughed, Lucy included. “Let me finish the question.”

“No. I do. I will marry you.”

“Let me finish it, Rami!”

“No.”

And he kissed her, making their three friends clap and shout loudly, happy for them.

\--- 

After hours of celebration for their friends, Joe and Ben were in a Uber, already going back to Roger’s house. Joe was looking through the window, quiet.

“You didn’t say anything to them.” Pointed Ben.

Joe looked to his fiancee, with tired eyes. He had drunk too much wine. “It was Lucy and Rami’s night. I couldn’t ruin it. And to be honest, I wasn’t planning on tell them.”

“Do you want them to discover by the news?!?” The british man was shocked.

Joe blinked, feeling himself sleepy. “I don’t know. I guess it’s not the best.”

“Definitely.”

The Uber arrived at the place, and Ben paid it. When they entered the house Joe said he only needed a glass of water and to piss.

“No more sex today then.” Murmured Ben, climbing upstairs.

Joe went to the kitchen and drank two large glasses of water, lightly thinking about how much alcohol he had drunk that night. With that, he walked to the nearest bathroom, and peed.

With his bladder more relieved, he got out of the room and started to swing while walked, humming some song. And his eyes stopped at a door. Something made him get interested in it, and smiling when he got closer. The actor turned the knob and walked into the room.

It was a normal homeoffice: a big wall shelf with books, some paper news about Queen that Roger had framed, but the thing that intrigued Joe the most was an old stereo, on a table. The man stepped forward and saw Queen first album next to the electronic device. He had always liked this album the most, and now knowing his father was part of it made Joe feel more attached to it.

He turned on the stereo and immediately a song started, seconds after Freddie’s voice was singing ‘Somehooooow I have to make this final breakthrough...Now!’

Joe sat in a chair, putting his feet on the table, enjoying the song his father had written together with his father-in-law. How odd was to listen to it, because now it was somehow different for him…

Taking his time to appreciate the lyrics, Joe noticed it was a very deep love song. About someone who was falling hard for someone else, who wants to get them and never let them go, who could do anything to make the other one happy. Joe giggled, imagining two straight men writing together a song like that.

“Babe, what are you doing here?” Ben asked, as he got into the room. He looked around the office, and Joe smiled, pointing to the shelf.

“You were right, Benny. There’s books!” exclaimed Joe.

“Ok, Joey. Let’s go to the bed.” Ben smiled caringly, and grabbed one of the ginger’s hand, helping him to stand up.

Joe’s sweater sleeve got stuck in a nail from the corner of the table drawer. The strength Ben used made a hole in the sleeve, and also opened a bit the drawer.

The ginger man looked down when he heard the sleeve tearing up. “Oh, I liked this sweater.” He whined before he noticed there was something inside the drawer.

Above a black leather journal, there was what it seemed a photo. By its size, looked like a photobooth picture, but right now Joe was only seeing its cover.

“What are you looking at?” asked Ben. Joe took the photo out of the drawer.

There was something written, and Ben recognized his father handwriting. 

_One golden glance of what should be – A KIND OF MAGIC_

Joe smiled before he turned over the picture.

The smile falling instantly. Ben’s mouth opened in surprise.

“Is...Is that my –”

“Yes.” Joe answered, horrified.

“And is that your –”

“Yes.”

Freddie’s voice filled the room ‘Honey you’re starting something deep inside of me...Honey, you’re sparking something this fire on me, I’m out of control, I want to rush headlong into this ecstasy!’

Joe threw up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warmer...


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has too many layers, but I hope you like it

John could feel something was odd with Veronica. She was distant from him, even physically; his wife enjoyed being spooned during sleep, but on that week she blamed the heat and asked for him to stay at his side of the bed.

Another day he saw her crying while cooking, and the brunet man got worried. But she said it was a sudden memory of her dead parents.

She was lying, and he knew it, since he was a master of it. But John let her be.

Joe texted him, sending him a picture of London, and the older man smiled. He missed that city. He was happy there, some many memories in those streets...John had always wanted to go back there, even though he wasn’t brave enough for it. Maybe he could talk with Veronica about it, after Cameron and Luke went to college.

He could dream with a better, easier life, at least.

\--- 

Veronica was determined. She wouldn’t throw away two decades of marriage just for some fights. Okay, her mind still didn’t accept very well that bargain – and kept remembering her why she had been so reticent with John – but the woman was ready to try something.

To do that she needed to buy some groceries, so she could do it right.

With everything already bought, she was already heading home, when she stopped at a red light. A car stopped next to hers and she recognized it in a second. Veronica put down the window in the same moment at the other car.

“What a coincidence!” smiled Veronica.

“Indeed.” Debbie smiled. She’s with Anita and Jim, who waved to the other woman. “Jim needed to get a gift for Freddie. Tomorrow’s their marriage anniversary.”

“How sweet. I was buying some groceries, to make a special dinner for John. Sort things out with him.” She could see confusion on her friends’ faces. “I know what I said to you, folks, but I’m okay, really. Jim was right, love is hard.”

“Are you su–”

Before Jim could finish his question, someone honked, allarming both drivers. The light was already green.

“Okay. Talk with you later.” And Veronica drove away, leaving three persons worried in the other car.

\---

A text from Veronica.

 **Ronnie** : I’ll make a special dinner for us. Luke and Cam will sleep at some friends’ house.

John smiled, relieved. Some sex today, finally.

After work, he drove to Roger’s, just to talk with Brian about a song he was writing. It was still really premature, but he thought it had potential, and since the guitar player was one of the more sensible people he knew, the brunet thought of showing it to him first.

He knocked the front door and it was opened in the next second by Roger.

John got intrigued with the smile the drummer was wearing. It was very...warm.

“I already told you that you don’t need to knock, Deaky.” Greated Roger, making space for the other man to enter.

John smiled back, trying to stay strong, even though his legs suddenly got weak. “I’ll remember next time.”

“So” Roger put his hand on John’s shoulder. “I found that artisanal beer you told me about. Come get one with me. It’s at the pantry.”

They crossed the living room, John feeling the strong – almost possessive – grip of the drummer. They were already at the kitchen, a few steps to reaching the pantry, when Brian showed at the other entrance of the room.

“Hi, John. What are you doing here?” Brian quickly reached the two men, Roger ruffing riled.

“Actually I came to talk with you, but Rog and I were getting a beer.” John looked from Roger to Brian.

“Okay, I want one beer too.”

“Yeah, so wait here, mate. The pantry is small and probably three persons don’t fit in there.” Roger spoke again.

“Nonsense. I’ll go with you.” Brian insisted.

John thought it was a bit weird the way the two men were acting, but didn’t comment on it. In that moment his phone buzzed. Veronica showed a picture of his favorite wine.

“You know what? Let’s forget about this beer. I really need to talk with Brian and I can’t stay longer here.” John sighed. “Veronica is making a dinner for us, and we’re not in the best moment, so I can’t stress her out.”

Brian saw a new light at Roger’s expression. He hadn’t seen that in a long, long time.

“Let’s go to the studio then.” Brian moved, wrapping his hand around John, both men walking back to the living room.

“Can I join you?” asked Roger, hopeful.

“He said Brian, not Brian and Roger.” The guitar player pointed out, turning to the right and disappearing with John.

“Hey, that’s my house!”

_Roger was at the amusement park, waiting for his bandmates. It was a lame program, but Freddie was very excited to go, and made them promise they would. And now he had been waiting for the other three for almost fifteen minutes._

_He was ready to go home when he saw John entering the park, his hands on the jeans pockets. The blond smiled, quickly waving to him. John saw him and walked faster, more relieved to find him._

_“Hi, mate.” Greated Roger. “Where are the others?”_

_“Brian called me saying he finally got a chance to go out with that classmate, and Freddie was with a flu.” John answered._

_“Great. That’s just great.” Roger rolled his eyes. It was already 7 pm and he had cleared his schedule just to spend the night with them, and now he was in a stupid park with nothing to do._

_“Hey, we’re already here, so...” John shrugged._

_Roger looked at the brunet, skeptic. “You really want to stay here?”_

_“It’s not like I have anywhere else to go.”_

_“Alright. Let’s see what we can do here.” Roger started to walk, John at his side._

Roger stayed at the couch, looking at his social media while Brian and John were talking in the studio. He knew why he wasn’t there. His bandmates were trying to cut his moments alone with John.

He started to hear Brian and John’s voices getting louder, and he looked back. They appeared again at the corner, walking to the front door.

“So...How was the talk?” questioned the blond, curious.

John looked at him, but quickly moved his eyes away. “It was okay. Now I really need to go home. Bye.”

Roger walked with him to the door, being watched by Brian, and opened it to the brunet. “We need to drink that beer soon, Deaky.”

“Alright, Rog.” And he left, the drummer closing the door.

The curly-haired man had a heavy look on his face.

“I need to talk with you.” And Brian made his way back to the studio.

Roger didn’t understand, but followed his friend. When he entered the studio he saw a small bag in the couch. He knew Freddie and Jim’s anniversary was close, and maybe the main singer had forgotten the gift there earlier.

Brian closed the door and turned to the drummer. “Promise me you won’t look for John.” Asked the guitarist.

The blond frowned. “Why are you saying this?”

“Because” Brian took a deep breath. “he showed me a song he’s writing. The song’s name is ‘Pain Is So Close to Pleasure’”

Roger didn’t remember how to breath for few seconds. 

“Now show me your song.” Demanded.

This made the blond man looked at him again, and he tilted his head, seemed confused. “My song?”

“I saw your writing in a paper earlier. Show me.” Brian saw guilt on Roger’s face. So, with a stronger tone, he repeated “Show me.”

Roger sighed, and put his hand on his pocket, taking out a folded paper, and handing it to Brian.

The guitar player unfolded it and read it down fast. Another deep breath. “And that’s why you two can’t stay alone anymore.” Brian gave the paper back to Roger. “We won’t record this song. Maybe never.”

Roger groaned, frustrated, and the other man turned around, leaving the room.

\---

John was almost heading home when he noticed he had forgotten his bag at Roger’s house. He turned his car around, going back to the place.

He quickly texted Veronica, saying he had to stay a bit longer at work, but soon he’d be at home. The man hated to lie – even with little lies – to her, but he knew how she felt about John going so often to Roger’s.

But he felt so good there. And they weren’t doing anything inappropriate. So what was the problem?

He stopped in front of the house. When he got out of the car and looked at the front door, he remembered the drummer’s words. John thought it was stupid but he walked by and opened the front door, getting inside.

The house seemed empty, and John thought he could sneak in and out without anyone noticing him.

He walked straight to the studio and saw the bag.

He walked to catch it but something else got his attention. A paper was opened above the piano. Probably a new song. John was tempted to read it, and he probably would know about it later, since the Queen members showed him all the tracks, wanting to know his opinions.

He moved to grab the paper, and look at the lyrics. 

_The Invisible Man by Roger Taylor_.

Something in the back of his mind made him think he had already heard this expression before.

His eyes got right to the line that was stretched, and by the way the paint was still wet, it was done minutes ago.

_John Deacon_   
_I’m in your room_   
_And I’m in your bed_   
_And I’m in your life_   
_And I’m in your head_

Some lines down made John even more frighted.

_Now I’m on your track_   
_And I’m in your mind_   
_And I’m on your back_   
_But don’t look behind_   
_I’m your meanest thought_   
_I’m your darkest fear_   
_But I’ll never get caught_   
_You can’t shake me, shake me dear_

The studio door got opened, and John saw the man he wanted to punch so badly.

“John?” Roger got surprised to see him there, and then he realized what paper he was holding. 

“What the fuck is this, Roger?” John barked.

_First they ate two giant hot dogs, and kept talking about the next gig. Roger commented how he was feeling that they were close to finally be seen and get a shot with a record company._

_After that they tried some games. John was very excited with the dards, and he managed to win a prize, giving a teddy bear to Roger, who shyly accepted the gift._

_When they got bored with the games, it was already 10 pm, and John thought they could call it a night. Roger was thinking the same, when he saw something they hadn’t done at the park yet._

_“Look, a photo booth cabin.” The blond pointed to where the machine was, and John frowned._

_“Ok.” John said._

_“Let’s take a picture.”_

_John laughed. “We’re not fifteen, Rog.”_

_“Oh, don’t be a spoilsport and come with me. I still have a ticket to use.”_

_The brunet rolled his eyes, but in the end he gave up. “Alright.”_

_Roger smiled, content, and they walked to the cabin._

_The blond gave the ticket to the worker and he and John got inside._

“I asked” John’s tone was sharp a knife. “what the fuck is that, Roger.”

“It’s just a song.” The blond said, taking some steps forward.

John could feel his skin on fire, his muscles pulsing, a weird swing on his chest. Was his...? No, it can’t be _his heart_.

He wanted to break Roger’s in millions pieces, but maybe before that he wanted the opposite of it.

“It’s not just a song, Roger, and you bloody well know it!” exclaimed John, crumbling the paper and throwing it to his face. “It has my fucking name on it!”

“And so has mine, and Freddie’s, and Brian’s.”

“I’m not from Queen. It doesn’t make any sense!” at this point he was yelling. “The lyrics after my name were very explicit. How do you think I would explain this to my family? I can’t lie anymore!”

John didn’t want to lie anymore.

Lies. That was what built his life so far on. And his marriage.

That sounded different in Roger’s head, and he moved forward.

With one hand the drummer pulled John by his waist, gluing their bodies, and with the other he held the brunet man’s nape, his thumb brushing carelessly on his earlobe.

John took some seconds to register that.

“What the –” John felt himself heating up, unable to move. The question was: _did he want to move?_

“I always knew.” Breathed Roger as he was leaning in. “I always knew.”

John watched in slow motion, Roger’s lashes and pores getting more visible to him as the blond man’s face was getting closer and closer.

His breath was inebriating John. What if he stayed a little longer and…

“Rog, I heard yelling and...WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?” 

Freddie walked to the studio with Brian, and founded them like that.

The younger man blinked and shoved Roger away, out of breath. He felt dizzy. He needed to get out of there.

“I need to get back home.” John grabbed the bag and walked out of the studio door.

Freddie and Brian let him pass, Roger still motionless, but he managed to speak “John.”

He didn’t answered.

When the man got out of his view, Roger found forces to move, and he walked to the room door, but Brian stood in front of him, holding his shoulders. “Rog, don’t.”

“Get out of my way, Bri.” The drummer ordered

“No.”

Far away, they heard the front door getting shut.

Freddie closed the studio door and looked angrily at the blond. “What are you thinking, Rog? Kissing John, in your house? Tiger and Rory are upstairs!”

“It’s none of your business. This is between John and I.” hissed the drummer.

“Of course it’s my business! You two stupids are my best friends, and I don’t want to pick up your pieces when this is over.”

Roger ignored him. His throat was starting to ache. “I need to talk with John.”

“No, you won’t. I will.” Freddie assured. “Brian, dear, can you drive me there?”

“Of course.” Brian nodded.

“Let me –” Roger started to beg, but Freddie interrupted him.

“We let you once, and now here we are.” Freddie was cold. “And if even imagine that you were close to John’s house, you’ll regret it, blondie.”

Freddie and Brian got out of the studio, leaving Roger about to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARMER...


	35. Chapter 35

John’s heart never got back to normal.

Roger tried to kiss him. He really made a move to kiss him. Roger had finally crossed the line, even though he hadn’t actually finished-

Every inch of his flesh was trembling, a lot of senses driving him crazy.

John could remember the excitement in Roger’s breathing when he was close. 

He was trying to stay focus on the traffic, but to be honest he’d be glad to get at home without crashing his car.

_Home_. John was going back to Veronica. His wife couldn’t even dream of what had happened just now. No, she couldn’t know. She could never know.

He looked himself in the mirror to see if anything on him could indicate anything. John tried diaphragmatic breathing, to calm himself down, trying to not collapse on his own. When he reached his block street the man was way better.

The brunet walked into home calmer, and saw his wife at the dining room, putting some things at the table.

“Finally.” Veronica walked to him and kissed him quickly. “I remembered I hadn’t made british dishes lately so I made Lancashire Hot Pot.”

John smiled when he felt the smell of the dish. “Ronnie, you’re a saint.”

She came closer and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I want things to get back to the way they were.” She said pedantically. “I love you.”

He cowardly just kissed her, letting his words unspoken.

Someone knocked on the front door, too strongly in fact, and they broke the kiss. Veronica walked to the door and opened it. Freddie was in front of them, a charming smile on his face.

“Hello, darlings. Oh, what a beautiful dinner!” Freddie exclaimed, kissing Veronica’s cheek and getting inside the house. “Can I borrow John for two minutes? I won’t ruin your dinner, I promise.” Freddie was talking and walking to John, grabbing him by his wrist and walking to the rooms direction. Veronica didn’t even have a chance to deny the request.

John let himself get dragged to his own room, looking to Freddie, who remained silent.

Only when they reached John’s bedroom and got inside was when the Queen singer spoke “Look, John, I came here because I got worried of how you left Roger’s house.”

“I’m okay. I’m more than okay.” John tried to deceive his friend, but he got betrayed by his own voice, weak and unstable.

Freddie gave him a pity look. “I know it’s too much to ask, but don’t be so harsh with Roger. He already suffered too much.”

John couldn’t believe his ears. “Are you serious? He bloody hitted on me, Freddie!”

“John, I will talk with him and he’ll behave. But I know he’ll be worse without you.” 

John took deep breaths. He wanted to have a normal dinner with his wife, a normal evening, and most importantly, he wanted to erase from his mind the image of Roger leaning on him.

“He tried to kiss me, Freddie.” John said. 

“To be fair he’s not the only one to be blamed. Things happened to lead you two to here.” Freddie sighed.

“What do you mean?!”

The oldest man rolled his eyes. He hated John’s false innocence. “You know exactly what I mean!”

“John?”

The two looked to the door. Veronica was there, with a indecipherable expression on his face.

John got worried. How much had she listened?

“Freddie said two minutes.” The woman spoke, her hands united against her belly, watching them attentively.

Freddie gave her a smile. “You’re right. How rude of me.” Freddie turned again to his friend. “Just...think about it, darling.”

John showed a hopeless glance, but shook his head. “Okay.”

“Bye, Ronnie.” Freddie walked close to her and hugged her quickly. “I’ll make myself out.”

The brunet man stared at his wife, waiting for something, any indication she had heard more than she should. His heart raced again.

“Let’s eat.” Announced Veronica, and turned around, walking to the dining room.

\--- 

The food, as always, was delicious, and John was trying to enjoy it as much as he could. But he could feel something was off. Sometimes he lifted his head and he saw Veronica at her place, deadly silent. That was not usual for her.

He needed to do something.

So John cleansed his mouth with a napkin and reached Veronica’s hand. “Ronnie, what’s going on? You don’t look fine.”

Veronica dazed at him, her eyes dark and empty.

“What Freddie meant with ‘he’s not the only one to be blamed’, John?” Veronica was almost plain.

The temperature seemed to get lower with the question.

“Veronica...” John spoke, but he really didn’t know what to say.

“Roger tried to kiss you, but he said that things happened to lead to that.” Veronica took her hand away from John’s. “I don’t want to assume anything, but it seems that...”

“Not–” his vocal cords hurt with the strength he’s doing to not succumb. “Nothing happened since he came at US, Ronnie, I promise you.” 

He was desperate. When had he lost the control of his life?

Veronica tilted her head, and blinked slowly. “‘Since he came to US’, John?”

Fuck.

John could hear himself breathing loudly by the mouth. His hands, that were above the table, started to turn into fists, and his pressure got up.

“What is your deal with Roger, John?” Veronica questioned, serious.

His brain was in high function, trying desperately to find a leak, a way to get out of that trap. His eyes moved fast by the sides, scanning his wife’s face, to see a trace of mercy, a piece of forgiveness. He ditched deep, but he didn’t know where to run.

There was no way out.

“Answer me, Deaky.” It was noticeable the disgust when she named him. Veronica never called him like that.

Deaky was supposed to be dead. Supposed to be forgotten the day they left England. But he was not.

When John looked at her like a chained puppy, the woman accepted. She got her answer. 

“Oh, fuck.” Veronica covered her face with her hands, and started to cry.

“Ronnie...” John moved his hand forward again.

“Don’t touch me.”

John was shaking, nervous and scared. Fuck. _No, that was not his life_. It didn’t seem like his life. How did he come to this, with his wife crying over the dinner table? His head was spinning, trying to trick himself. That couldn’t be real.

Veronica stood up suddenly, waking up John, and he saw the woman running to their bedrooms. The brunet man followed her, but when he reached the door it was already closed and locked.

“Ronnie.” John knocked the door. “Let me talk with you.”

“You had twenty-two years for this, John!” cried Veronica.

John slipped to the floor, his whole body weak and useless. His life was blowing up, and all he could do was hear his wife crying from the other side of the door.

“Please, give me a chance to explain.” John’s voice was snotty.

No answer.

He ran his hands thought his hair, holding the strands, lost. His marriage...Two decades of companionship... _No!_

Veronica yelled in pain inside the bedroom, and John got on his knees, touching the woody door without knowing what to do.

“Ronnie, I’m sorry. Please...” John felt the first tears running out of his eyes. “Just open this door.”

He did everything right all these years...What did he let himself slide? When did he start to be a bad husband? _When did he become this person?_

Or he maybe never was the person he should be?

He sat at the floor again, after ten minutes behind that door. John tried to think what to say when Veronica accepted to hear him, how to win her over. The anxiety was getting down, and a crazy hope was filling him. Yes, because Ronnie loved him, and he…

They could make work it out.

Twenty minutes and she’s still there. Now he could only hear low sniffs.

The man was touching the door again when it opened. John quickly stood up, cleaning his face from the remained trail of tears, and he saw Veronica.

She was with a travel bag in hands and her purse. John looked at her in shock.

“Where the hell are you going?” John asked, thinking she was out of her mind.

“Out of here. I can’t look at your face right now.” Veronica’s face was still red. “I should have known in the moment you told me about Queen. Since there you only let me down, over and over.”

“Veronica, don’t do this.”

“I didn’t do anything. This is only on you.” Veronica looked at her phone. “My Uber is here.”

John saw her crossing the front door. He couldn’t let her do this. “What...What about us?” 

Another tear cleared her eyes. “I can’t see us in the future anymore.”

\---

John stayed at his living room floor, looking to the ceiling, his head empty. He couldn’t believe Veronica had left him.

She just took her things and left.

They had a life together, three kids, material goods together. They found a place to call home, to create their family, to survive all their problems and differences.

And everything, _puff_ , was gone.

She was the glue of his life, the person who made him be strong, be the father for his sons, that taught him how to live one day at a time, how to not struggle his problems, how not to die when everything was too hard.

How he’d live without her?

Why had she left him?

_Why?_

And then his eyes found a spot. A dark hole to focus on.

Roger.

He was the person that made everything, since the first moment he saw him, worse. He was always too close, too intimate, too...deep. Even when he didn’t want it, Roger was there. He had to stay at the country until their kids’ wedding come, he insisted John to play together and made him feel the flame burn inside of him, he insisted that John could participate in the new album.

Roger, Roger, fucking Roger Taylor.

He grabbed his phone and sent a text. He needed to know what he had done to his life.

**John Deacon:** Veronica left me. So thank you very much.

The brunet man stood up and walked to the kitchen. He needed to get drunk.

When he was getting back to the living room, a bottle of whiskey in hands, he saw a picture of himself, Veronica and their sons, smiling when they had gone to Disney. 

Fucking hell, their kids. How would he tell Joseph, Cameron and Luke about their fight? Tell them that they’d be no longer married? That he was the one to blame for destroying their family? John couldn’t even imagine his sons’ faces right now; they had always said how they saw him as someone without flaws, but they’d know he had lots of them. 

His stomach was burning. He didn’t mind, he needed to get numb. Three glasses and he was feeling dizzy.

John thought he should call Veronica, at least to know if she had arrived okay at wherever she’d spend the night, but now his hands were too heavy to reach the phone.

He was almost at the end of the bottle when someone knocked on the door. John looked at the door with hope. Maybe she got back, probably came back to her senses and would never leave him again.

John was already preparing his speech, ready to say sorry for her till the end of his days.

He opened the door, but it wasn’t Veronica.

“Fuck off.” John hissed, closing the door again.

But Roger held it with his hand, getting into the house. “What happened? Did you say to her about earlier?”

“‘What happened’ you ask?” John had fury on his face. “You happened, Roger! You reappeared and destroyed my life!”

“Hey, John, calm down.” Roger sniffed something and looked at him, worried. “Have you been drinking?”

John grabbed Roger by his hand and walked to his bedroom, bringing him together. “Let me show you what you have done to me.” 

_“It’s four parted photo, mates.” Said the man, closing the curtain._

_“What pose should we do?” asked Roger, in a hurry, to not lose the photo-timing._

_“Maybe just smile?” risked John._

_“You’re no fun.”_

_“Fuck off.”_ _A weird sound got louder, indicating the first photo would be shot soon. The two men smiled to the camera._

Roger entered for the second time to John’s bedroom, and saw the closet door opened, some places empty, a couple of hangers in the bed. The blond blinked, a bit overloaded with what happened.

“Mate, I’m so sorry.” Said Roger.

“Ugh, save it!” John groaned. “That’s what you wanted all along, wasn’t it? I bet you’re thrilled when you knew I was you son’s father-in-law, so you could have an excuse to mess with me.”

“John, my life doesn’t gravitate around you. Don’t be so paranoid!”

“You wanted a revenge, didn’t you? Confess, you git!”

Roger was done with it. “Don’t responsibilize me for your failed marriage! It’s not my fault if you don’t love your wife!”

John closed his hand in a fist and made it travel with force to Roger. He didn’t have much experience, and his knuckles hurt when they found the drummer’s jawline. Both men yelled in pain, John holding his own hand, Roger massaging his face.

Some seconds with them both moaning and Roger laughed, grudgingly. “I guess we’re finally even.”

The brunet looked at him. That bastard.

_“Who said earlier that this was a teen thing, hun?” teased Roger._

_John was laughing now, and Roger appreciated his smile. The brunet was shy and didn’t show his teeth much, but right now he was smiling widely, his front teeth gap so close to the drummer’s view._

_“It was fun. What should we do now? Maybe some funny faces?” John asked, turning his head to Roger._

_The sound was getting louder again._

_“Roger?” John was confused._

_The drummer was looking to him, an intense glance on the blue eyes._

_Shot. The second photo was taken._

Roger moved his jaw for some seconds. “Nothing is broken, so you’re forgiven, Deaky.” The drummer smiled, and whoever saw it knew that wasn’t an innocent smile.

“Watch it, or I’ll punch you again.” John said, but he could feel himself not believing his own statement.

“So punch it.” Roger stepped closer.

John didn’t like his tone and started to walk backwards, fearing his own actions, the drummer’s smile got bigger, and the brunet bumped with room door, his back against it.

Roger stopped in front of him, and he grabbed John’s hands, putting them at his own collar shirt. “Come on. If that’s what you really want, punch me, John.” Said Roger, confidently.

John’s mouth was dry. He was getting responses from three places on his body, each one saying a different thing. The loudest was the one at the bottom.

_“Are you okay, Rog?” asked John, worried._

_The strength of the blond’s stare was making him feel naked._

_Roger got closer, and closer, and closer._

John’s green eyes were full of fear, anger, and a third element. Roger knew the last one, like an old friend.

“You don’t want to hurt me, Deaky. You want something else.” Smirked Roger.

_The sound got louder again._

_John felt the drummer’s hand cupping his face, and soft lips against his. Roger parted his lips and invested again, while the brunet kept with his eyes opened, still processing the fact that he’s bandmate was kissing him._

_Shot. The third photo was taken._

_Roger pulled away, scanning the brunet’s expression. His incredible long eyelashes batted._

John really hated that smile. He really hated Roger, with all his heart.

He grabbed the blond’s collar shirt and switched positions, now pining Roger against the door. 

John really wanted to take that stupid arrogance out of his face.

That stupid beautiful face.

_John heard the sound getting louder for the last time. Roger was still looking at him, expectantly._

_He wrapped his arms around Roger’s neck and pulled in again, gluing their lips again._

_Shot._

John crashed his lips to Roger’s, making the drummer yelped in surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRE!


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yummy :)

There was no delicacy or tenderness in their kiss, just the need to feel the taste that was only there when their lips were united. John took Roger’s lips with eagerness, like a thirsty man in the desert, and he pressed them against his until that was all that he could feel. His hands were still holding the drummer’s shirt, with more strength than he needed, his teeth biting his flesh with a sadistic desire.

Roger surprised him in every move, in each inch of skin and in each moan between kisses. A weak whimper was heard when John put a hand on his waist and squeezed it roughly. He was like a conquered land with new beauties in every ride, and this only made John want more and more. Since he was abstaining from that addiction for so long, the slightest of touches were intense for him.

John was enjoying the way Roger was grabbing his nape hair and how his tongue touched his own, but he couldn’t forget how he wanted to teach him a lesson. It didn’t matter if he shivered with the drummer’s soft fingertips, he’s still in charge. And he’s still pissed as hell.

The air was missing, and John pulled away, looking at Roger for a few seconds. At his swollen, red lips, his desperate panting. His eyes were still scared from the unknown of John’s next move.

Grabbing at the drummer’s shirt once more, John shoved him on the bed. He threw the hangers on the floor, and made his way next to the blond. His hand was in Roger’s hair, and pulled it sorely. Roger gasped, his spine arching up above the mattress. John lied down, shifting in the sheets without dropping his grip, making Roger move to be on all fours, above the brunet man.

John pulled him closer to kiss him again, feeling all his body boiling with the moan Roger let out when he sucked his lip, investing so many times, losing himself around the pink flesh, strengthening the grip just for Roger to suffer a bit more.

In a sudden move John sat on the bed, Roger sitting on his lap, their lips still united, and the blond felt John’s hands leaving his hair and going to the buttons of his shirt, undoing them. The brunet man was almost opening his shirt entirely when Roger, with some difficulty to leave those lips, moved away.

“John, are you sure? Because you’re – ” Roger’s voice sounded concerned.

But the youngest man didn’t want to hear him. He finished with the drummer’s shirt. “Shut up, and take off these pants.”

“But –”

John took off his shirt, and Roger’s eyes widened at the view. Now he had puffy hair on his chest, his nipples dark and small. The blond wet his upper lip with his tongue. “Take these bloody pants off,” John demanded, deadly serious.

Roger, with shaking hands, was working on the button and zipper of his jeans, while John was doing the same with his own. Some sick pride was on the brunet’s chest seeing how nervous the other man looked.

Only in their pants, John gave himself a second or two to admire the blond’s body. Strong legs, slim belly, shaped chest, skinny neck. John, spontaneously, touched the drummer’s neck, and let his fingers travel way down, Roger staring it gaping – it wasn’t a caring touch. John wasn’t caring at all.

His hand crossed the fabric and closed around Roger’s cock, surprising him. Thick, just as John remembered.

Roger bit his own lip, his eyes closed, showing how he’s liking being on John’s hand, even though it wasn’t moving. But it was there. He knew John’s eyes were on him, so he moaned, without shame, and threw back his head.

“Open yourself up,” John said, his hands going to the boxers waistband and pulling it down.

There, Roger laid naked in front of him.

“Do it quickly, before I change my mind,” John shifted away, to rest his back on the headboard.

Roger got lost with the vision of John putting his cock out of the boxers and sliding his hand on its height. “I… Lube,” he said, without tearing his eyes away. His boxers were completely off now.

Without stopping his moves, John looked at his nightstand wardrobes, finding an almost empty bottle, and handed it to Roger. The image of the blond in front of him was getting him hard more than his hand ever could.

“Hurry,” alerted the brunet, when he saw Roger putting the lube in two fingers.

John’s hand found a good pace, giving a bit more of attention to the head to then touch all the extension of his cock. He heard the sound of his fist finding the basis, and the man’s mouth got dry when his thumb massaged the skin, putting more pressure on it.

The previous excitement made Roger shiver when he bent his arm over himself and opened his cheeks to finger himself. He introduced his two fingers at once, a groan with the pressure of having something inside him, that so good pressure. The blond took a breath before starting to move his fingers, still in a slow pace.

John felt hard to breath when he saw Roger pounding inside himself, the oldest man’s mouth open while he moved again and again. John’s own hand got faster after that, his cock pulsing around his fingers. He could see the blond spreading the cheeks for better access, he moved the hand to try new angles. It’s almost sinful the way Roger was biting his own lip.

The other man increased the pace, his arousal getting bigger when his fingers were deeper on his arse, holding himself to not fall on the bed, since his legs were getting weaker with each movement. As a final touch, Roger started to let out stuffy sounds of his mouth, his other hand on his mouth, biting his index finger. Opening up his own fingers, Roger was hit by a new wave of pleasure, feeling his hole pulsing around himself.

His body moved with the blond, and he tensed up when he circled his fingers inside his arousal, breathing heavily, his finger hanging on his teeth. It was a delicious pressure concentrating on his hips.

“Fuck,” Roger moaned. With a noise of pleasured suffering, he whispered, “John...”

No, it’s not supposed to be like that. John shouldn’t be watching Roger getting himself off. It was supposed to be his fire back.

He should be fucking him. _Hard_. Making him cry out.

Not handling anymore, he threw his boxers somewhere at the bedroom and moved to glue their bodies together again. Roger only noticed when their cocks brushed slightly. “Lay down. Now,” John spoke, and Roger blinked, still too immersed on the fingering. “Don’t make me say twice.”

Roger took out his fingers and lied down, his blue eyes full of expectation. They had made it this far, but he’s still afraid. 

The brunet man saw his cock fully-hard, and forgot the essential. “Fuck,” he murmured, and looked around trying to remember if he had a condom at home. 

Feeling what’s going on, Roger reached his pants and caught his wallet, and grabbed a condom, “Here,” the man handed it to John.

The gesture just made John even more mad. He didn’t want to wonder why a married man had a condom in his wallet.

All his thoughts were gone while he put the condom and spread Roger’s legs. He saw his entrance, open and still wet because the lube.

There wasn’t any coherence crossing his mind. Just the flaming desire to tear Roger apart.

The brunet put his hand on Roger’s waist and, in a fast move, pushed into him. Roger couldn’t contain himself, closing his eyes and biting his lips, giving a long hum when he felt being filled, a pleasure provoked by John’s careless invasion. He knew John wouldn’t be soft and smooth, not now, not there. He’d be savage – this John wouldn’t show mercy. To be fair, Roger liked the lack of fear in John, thrusting into him in one go. His body felt a contraction with it.

John felt as if he was out of breath. It was warmer, tighter. It wasn't supposed to be this inebriating.

There was something fascinating with Roger trying to catch his breath after being filled up. He saw the drummer closing his eyes, a satisfied expression on his face.

That’s what he wanted all along, _right_?

He started to move, one hand holding on the edge of the bed and the other one rested at Roger’s belly, the blond grabbing his wrist after. The brunet’s body moved fast, his hip not giving space to slip, just pulling out pounding back in again, stronger each time. Pure physics: the friction that made sparkles and became electric waves inside them both. Roger’s legs open wide, giving him better access, and John shivered when the contact with the skin got more intense.

The drummer let out a suffering moan, so shameless and melodic, and John almost dared to do it too. Every thrust John made more sure he had that this was the best fitting, the one that made him see stars, and in each move Roger moaned more. Even the way the blond man’s chest rose up when he got more aroused was making John’s cock pulse. 

“Fuck, John, more!” begged Roger.

His voice was now more heavy and raw, but arousing either way.

Roger’s agaped mouth, or the way he curled his spine when John moved into him, or even the throbbing of his hole, everything was making John do it again. He felt the bed trembling with the force he’s using to pound into Roger, the sound of flesh on flesh driving him crazy. The drummer was moving his head, pointing his chin up, making John want to put his teeth on it.

In a moment, John stopped to brush their arousals together, Roger’s hole tightening around the brunet man’s cock, and the drummer’s name almost got out of his mouth, but he contained himself. John’s hands held his waist stronger, aggressively fucking him, and the drummer responded with more sounds, a wordless begging for more.

The heat was radiating off their bodies, and John saw Roger’s face sweating, his hair getting more and more damp. He leaned down, lying above Roger’s body, and the drummer just wrapped his legs around John, and the brunet sped up, sliding faster. In a very hard thrust he heard Roger crying out, and he felt his cock finding the man’s prostate. The brunet man gasped with it.

“Fuck, right there!” shouted Roger.

His hand was still on the drummer’s neck, holding tight, but this didn’t make him stop shouting with pleasure. John started to move his hips in sync with Roger, and the spot was hit again, his shout getting louder, and John couldn’t hide his smirk. Against his belly John could sense Roger’s own hardness, untouchable.

John cursed when a strong arousal crossed his body, not losing his pace, and hitting harder against the drummer. He moved Roger’s leg, winding up the other man, and he saw a quick shock run over the blond’s body.

“Oh, John!” Roger chanted.

John thrusted harder and faster than before, Roger’s moans motivating him. It was impossible not to feel the blood travelling in his veins, the sweat running down his body, and even as the air was getting thin, he wouldn’t stop. Every time he got into the drummer the desire renewed, after seeing Roger’s face full of want. John’s hips now moved according to Roger's sounds, and with every movement he felt himself getting closer to the apex.

He stretched his arms up, to see Roger better, and he couldn’t be more proud to see the mess he was. The head of his cock was with precum, licking on his belly, mixing with sweat, and all his body was shivering with John hitting his spot with no stop. Roger was getting more sensitive in any minute, and even with his eyes closed he could feel John’s eyes on him.

John now couldn’t detain his own moans, a feeling on his underbelly getting higher and higher and the burning on his skin hotter. He pounded into Roger faster, the sounds of satisfaction the only things that matter, a small tear appearing in the corner of the blond’s eye. John moved his hips even more, connecting entirely with Roger.

Getting high with the building feeling, John fucked Roger as fast as he could, running through his pleasure. Roger was almost there too, his feet curling up and his voice getting as peachy as ever. The sound of their skins meeting each other got louder, and John could feel Roger contracting around him.

“Do it before me, or you won’t have it,” John warned, having difficulty forming the words.

The man hit Roger’s sweet spot, each time stronger than before, Roger cursing with every thrust, and with some moments he heard the drummer crying out his name, rolling his eyes back. His cock splashed cum over his own belly, his body tensing and trembling for a few seconds, and then resting on the bed again. His mouth was open, catching some air.

A grotesque sound got out of John, his neck veins popping in the moment he got on the pique, coming hard inside Roger. He felt the condom getting filled by his cum, and he kept thrusting on Roger until he didn’t have more to give. His eyes got brighter, and for some seconds he didn’t have more strength to make any sound, his breathing failing.

He let himself fall above Roger’s body, didn’t minding the mess. John could be wrong, but he didn’t feel an orgasm this hard in...

Well, _in twenty-two years_.

John felt sweaty hair brush against his cheek. 

“Fuck,” Roger spoke, his voice light.

Fuck.

Indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried really hard to make a rough sex but make clear it's 1000% concesual...


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters with flashbacks

_John heard the sound getting louder for the last time. Roger was still looking at him, expecting._

_He wrapped his arms around Roger’s neck and pulled in again, gluing his lips again._

_Shot._

_John let his hand grasp softly the drummer’s hair, and he was parting his lips for the kiss._

_The curtain got open, and the man said without putting his head inside “Time’s out, mates.”_

_They jumped and pulled away from each other, blinking nervously. Without thinking John stood up and walked out to the cabin, Roger taking the photo and the teddy bear and doing the same._

_Walking to the park exit, both men were silent, without knowing what to say. Even with all the problems in that equation, the only thing they could think was how good those quick pecks were. Imagine if they weren’t quick..._

_Already outside, Roger turned to John. “Look, I –”_

_“Could you drive me home?” John asked, without thinking much._

_His heart was beating fast, and Roger replied “Okay.”_

_The drive to John’s flat was also without talk, maybe each one with fear to say something that could make the other or themselves to regret what they’d do next. The only sound inside the car was the radio, with Roxette singing Listen To Your Heart._

_Stopping the car in front of John’s building, the bass player got out of the car, biting his own lip._

_“Do you want to go upstairs with me?”_

_“Can I go upstairs with you?”_

_They both spoke at the same time and giggled with it. Roger got out of the car and walked next to John. A shy smile appeared at John’s lips, and Roger was holding himself._

_A tension was building with each step they took up the stairs, and John could feel his hands shaking. He tried to play it cool when he grabbed the keys to open his flat front door._

_They got inside the flat and John closed the door, locking them in. When he turned to the blond Roger was looking to the floor, his hands on his jeans pockets._

_“_ _So,” John spoke, gaining the oldest man’s attention._

_Roger looked up, and behind the blush on John’s cheeks he could see that he wanted that. So he took some steps forward, until he got in front of the brunet._

_“So,” Roger smirked, and cupped John’s cheek._

_He leaned in, until their lips found again. John put his hands on his face too, caressing gently when he opened his mouth. Roger deepened the kiss, finding moreover John, who hummed contentedly when the drummer sucked his upper lip. The desire was felt while Roger sucked over and over, aching the youngest man’s lips. But he didn’t ask him to stop._

_Putting his hands on the blond’s waist, John pulled his body closer, chest against chest, hip against hip, and he moved his face to invest again on Roger, the tongues finally touching each other, and Roger shivered when the bassist’s tongue brushed on his palate._

_John squeezed the drummer’s waist and his hand ran to his arse, touching it on Roger’s jeans. This made the blond laugh during the kiss. “Eager, aren’t you?” teased Roger, looking to John._

_The bass player blinked, thinking he overstepped. “Uh, sorry… Should I sto– ” but before he could finish Roger smirked and kissed him again, and move his hips forward, brushing on John’s._

_He whimpered against Roger lips, and glued his mouth even more, enjoying the friction of their hips, feeling himself slowly getting hard on his jeans. He gripped Roger’s bum, and bit the blond’s upper lip, his teeth torturing Roger by pushing the flesh with want. With that Roger pressed his hips on the brunet again, harder._

_They kept like that for several minutes, grinding against each other, tasting how delicious the kiss was, taking quick breaks to breath, but their hands never leaving the other’s body. Roger was a master of moaning in the sexiest way, his high voice turning on John, and the brunet liked to squeeze the drummer, learning where the weak spots on him, getting a good response when he pulled Roger’s hair._

_After a very long noise from the blond, John pulled away. His pink lips were now more vivid, brushed after their action. Only that made him pulse on his trousers._

_“Should we go to the bed?” asked Roger, touching John’s jawline._

_“Do you… Do you want to?” John blinked shyly._

_“I asked, didn’t I?” giggled the blond. And getting closer, he wet his own lips and whispered. “I always wondered how you are on the mattress, Deaky.”_

_John grabbed his hand and walked fast to the bedroom, going to the bed with no time._

_When they sat in the bed they got back to their lips, with more desire, attacking each other’s mouths with excitement. Roger pulled away just to take off his shirt and John’s after, and crawled to his lap, kissing him again._

_The kiss got heated when Roger started to grind on his lap, brushing his arse against John, when the bass player gasped with it. Was the room getting warmer, or it was just him? Roger seemed to know what he was doing, and just to tease even more he was now moving slowly, rubbing their parts together. John forgot how to think properly, because he only cared about the wonderful feeling that was growing and staying between his legs._

_Roger stopped the kiss to plant love bites all over John’s neck, the brunet closing his eyes and moving his head to give him more room. At some point his tongue touched the skin, running until his lobe, where the drummer started to kiss behind the ear. “I need you to finger me, Deaky.”_

_With that, John’s eyes open up quickly, getting nervous in a second. “I… What?”_

_The blond looked at him again, and seemed amused with his behavior. “What, are you not thinking of shoving it into me, aren’t you?”_

_“But...” John cleared his throat. He’s still thinking that was all a dellirium. “Do you want me… to fuck you?”_

_With devious blue eyes, Roger stared at him, biting his own upper lip and nodded._

_The drummer moved away from John’s lap, so he could take off his trousers, and John stood up off the bed, doing the same. The bass player was now only in his underwear, and he saw Roger having trouble taking off his jeans. He put his hand on Roger’s chest, gaining the drummer’s attention, and pushed him to lay down on the mattress, and the blond didn’t try to resist it._

_John pulled down Roger’s jeans, revealing the drummer’s skinny legs, which he always had shame of. The bass player never understood; his first thought when he saw Roger without trousers for the first time was to wonder how smooth those pairs of legs must be. When the jeans were on the floor, John smiled at the other man and let his hand touch the blond’s calf, running up his leg, using some pressure on his touch, and when he found Roger’s inner thigh he squeezed, making him squirm with it._

_“Touch yourself. I need to find –” John started, but before he finished Roger put down his underwear, revealing his cock, holding it._

_John’s mouth got watered at the sight. Roger’s cock was an average size, but it was thick; he could understand why women were crazy for him._

_“John,” Roger smirked at him, liking the audience, and started to move his hand. John wasn’t blinking, mesmerized with the up-and-down of Roger’s hand, seeing the soft cock hardening with the handjob. “You were going to find lube, right?”_

_The drummer’s words made John wake up, and he nodded. “Right.” He ran to the bathroom, almost sure it was there. Roger moaned softly, making John more anxious to find it._

_With lube in hands, the bassist got back and found Roger completely without pants, eyes closed with the intensity of the arousal. His legs were spread, and he moved his hips according to the movements of his own hand. The brunet never had someone that pretty on his bed. John’s cock was begging for freedom, because he’s too hard inside of his pants._

_Taking off his pants, John walked to Roger, and rested a hand on Roger’s thigh. This made Roger open his eyes, and his smile fell when he saw that John was completely naked. He couldn’t believe the shy bassist of his band had a large cock. He had the mind to suck it next time they did this._

_Roger didn’t even realize that he wanted a next time – even when he even didn’t start the first one._

_“Hi there,” John gave a more naughty smile, and he opened the lube, putting some amount on a finger. Roger gave space for John to sit in the bed, between his legs. John could see a pink and tight hole, and after looking at it he glanced at Roger. “Are you ready?”_

_The drummer nodded._

_John leaned in and kissed Roger’s thigh, in the same moment he brushed his fingertips on the blond’s hole, touching the entrance. He could feel Roger shivering, the brunet smirking while giving light kisses, small whimpers coming out while John kept teasing him._

_After some bites on his thigh, John kept moving his fingertips in circles on the entrance, Roger groaned. “John, care to go forward?”_

_“Someone is impatient,” John smiled too innocently for someone who’s about to finger his own bandmate._

_“Do you blame me?”_

_John couldn’t wait any longer, so he held on Roger’s waist and put one finger inside Roger. The man shouted with the feeling, closing his eyes. When the finger was entirely in him, he gasped, breathing heavily._

_“You’re okay?” Asked John, worried._

_“Give me a minute,” Roger said._

_The bass player didn’t move, watching the blond breathing on the bed. He’s getting calmer with each exhale, and to help him to calm down John gave kisses on Roger’s underbelly._

_Roger felt something funny on his stomach._

_Opening his eyes, the drummer looked to John, who’s still expecting him. “You can move.”_

_John started to pump into him, in slow moves, waiting for any signs of discomfort in the blond’s face. To be fair, he was waiting for anything to take him out of this dream, because it was still surreal for the brunet that Roger was letting finger him, and he’s the person who’s lied naked in front of him._

_Only when Roger gave more enthusiastic responses did John speed up, his finger getting into the drummer fast. John saw him biting his lip, holding his own sounds, and he said “Rog, don’t do that. Let me hear you.”_

_“Oh, fuck,” cried Roger, moving his hips forward, to feel the bass player’s finger even more into him._

_“Yeah, keep doing that,” John said, smirking._

_John put again his finger inside the drummer and curled it up, making Roger moan louder, and he repeated the moviment a few times, seeing him squirming with it. That was a pretty view, and looking how he’s making the blond feel good his blood was going south, activating his cock again._

_He didn’t even know about himself, but the bass player was a biter, and started to bite all over Roger’s belly and chest, as far as his mouth could reach, without leaving marks. The drummer was replying with small noises that sounded just like the brunet’s name, and in a bite close to his nipple Roger curled his head, groaning._

_“Give me more, Deaky,” begged Roger._

_John conceded and added a second finger, and Roger jumped from the feeling. The bass player’s mouth was around his ribs and he gave wet kisses, and he felt when the drummer grabbed his hair, gripping strongly every time he invested into him. His fingers were feeling the muscle pulsing around them, and the waiting was torturing John, but he needed to prepare him properly._

_Roger shivered again when he felt John’s teeth on his waist, tempting him. His cock was harder than ever, and everytime the brunet’s fingers moved inside him he was more sure he wanted that. He moaned again – a ridiculous and shameful sound – when John opened him up, feeling like fire on his insides. It was still scary for the blond how daft the youngest man was, and how Roger would let him do anything with him._

_What the drummer didn’t expect to feel was John sinking his mouth on his cock, humming like he was tasting him. Roger’s legs were shaking, and John used that moment to open them more, and invest more quickly with his fingers. Roger never felt something like that… **What the hell was John Deacon doing to him?**_

_He grabbed tightly onto the bassist’s hair, seconds before he shot his cum on his mouth. Roger couldn’t see anything for a few seconds, and he lost his breath. It was fucking amazing, and after some moments without moving, his head still in the clouds, the drummer just realized it was too fast._

_Too fucking fast._

_He opened his eyes, scared, and looked to John, ready to apologize, but he saw John cleaning with his thumb a trail that left his mouth and licking it. The brunet looked back at him, and smiled. “That was so hot, Roger.”_

_“Now it’s your turn,” Roger’s legs were working again, so he crawled and kissed John, who noticed a weird and new taste on his tongue, that he only could assume that was his own._

_He moved to put John laying his back on the mattress, the drummer above him on all fours, and he delicately touched his hair._

_John didn’t know how to think for two seconds when those soft fingers were touching him._

_“I’ll ride you, if that’s okay,” Roger whispered, his voice too smooth for the subject matter at hand._

_“More than okay,” John quickly nodded, the thought making his cock hard a bit._

_Roger took the lube and put a good amount on his hand, and then, while his lips on John’s, he held the bass player’s cock, sliding his hand to spread the lube on it. John groaned during it, his sounds dying on his throat, Roger’s tongue against his own. The drummer could make everything sensual: moving his hips according to his hand’s movements, humming together with John, and even biting John’s lip when he moved away._

_“It’s the moment to say if you still want this,” the drummer teased, his ass cheeks grinding against John’s full-hard cock._

_“Do I look like I don’t want to?” John raised an eyebrow. Roger laughed quickly._

_“Just to check.”_

_John watched, ablazed, at Roger moving his hips up until he found the head of the cock. The brunet held his waist when he slowly sank on him. The feeling was stronger than before, and John only could think how warm and good it felt._

_When he was totally inside Roger, he looked to the blond, seeing him biting his own lip, taking his time, and that was the most beautiful thing he saw in his life until that moment. He was holding himself to not move, because he didn’t want to rush things, but...he wanted to feel Rogger lapping on him._

_There was pain, maybe because John’s thickness, maybe because his ass was wide open, but Roger was also sensing a warm feeling, a painful pleasure, and he was just giving a moment of two to recompose himself – he didn’t want to ruin the night because he was too thirsty._

_John was ready to beg for Roger to move when the blond started to thrust on him, slowly, testing the waters. The first reaction of John was to let out a long hum and hold tightly onto his waist, staring at Roger moving on his own rhythm, having full control of the moment._

_Probably was why he chose that position, and the brunet was more sure when he saw a smirk on the drummer’s lips and he put his hands on John’s chest and moved faster, lapping on him in a better angle. He moaned when he found a good pace, feeling a wave of pleasure. Eyeing John, seeing he’s with an open mouth, not being able to vocalize anything. That was the moment to make the bass player feel good just as he made him minutes ago, so Roger pounded on him deeper, and he felt John shivering under him, his body contracting his muscles._

_That arousal was so great, and John wanted more, so he held on Roger and kept moving him, helping the drummer to ride him, his hip going in the contrary way. That movement was quite tricky, but as a band rhythm section, they knew how to work with coordination and tempo, and with no time they were in sync. That friction was making his cock hit Roger’s prostate, brushing strongly inside him, and after some moments Roger was calling his name, crying out._

_John liked – too much – to hear his name on Roger’s mouth._

_It was a pretty vision seeing Roger riding on his lap with desire, oscillating between gasps and groans, sometimes his fingers gripping too tightly on John’s chest, his precum leaking on John’s belly. John could feel get more aroused in each minute, the silk skin of the drummer against his own._

_Roger threw himself back, now holding on John’s thighs, moving away from him, and curling his spine. And then he restarted the moviments, now giving to John the vision of his cock getting in and out inside of him. This was more hot that John imagined, and he whispered “Holy fuck.”_

_“You’re not as bad yourself, Deaky,” Roger joked._

_The brunet looked at him, seeing that damned smile on his face. That fucker._

_Not containing himself, John held on Roger and pushed himself to sit without getting out of him. Their chests touched again, and he could feel Roger’s cock_ _against their bellies._

_They kissed, and just now they realized how sweaty they were, the kiss mixing saliva and sweat, but they didn’t move away, their tongues starved for action, hungry for each other. Now they were actually united, they felt more hunger than before, they could sense each bite, trying to drive the other crazier, a little battle when everyone would win._

_John moved his hips again, grinding inside Roger, getting fast in a second, and he moved his lips to Roger’s shoulder, letting himself hear the drummer’s delicious sounds. With one arm Roger was embracing John’s back and with the other he was grabbing his dark hair like his life depends on it. The brunet wanted to kiss everywhere, any place his mouth could reach, because right now he could die happily thanks to Roger; he never had a better lay, so responsive and turning-on. If he wasn’t already fully hard he could be with the blond moaning with no stop on his ear, his pinky lips brushing on it._

_He already imagined how the drummer was in bed, but he thought Roger was the one who made his partner a machine of moans, not the contrary. But after tonight, he couldn’t imagine it any other way._

_John didn’t imagine he wouldn’t go this far, not since he felt how warm Roger was, and he was trying too hard to not come so quickly. That known tickling on his feet was growing, but he needed to make it last a bit more._

_He was grinding against Roger, and his hands traveled to the drummer’s arse cheeks, squeezed when he moved a bit faster, his middle finger brushing between the cheeks in every move he made. He blond couldn’t know what’s more aroused for him, the cock on his ass or John’s devious hands, that knew where to touch him. Roger couldn’t handle himself and said, “Hell, you’re so big and delicious. Why are you like that?”_

_That made John’s hair at his nape prick up with interest._

_His lips found Roger's neck and he let his mouth fall open on it, sucking slowly, in the same moment he decided to slow down his motions, thrusting Roger against himself smoothly. “Roger, this is so good, fuck,” groaned John, and he kissed Roger one more time. “You’re so good.”_

_“You’re such a teaser, John,” Roger said, his voice raw and thick. “Stop the bullshit and fuck me like you mean it.”_

_John looked at Roger after that, an intense glance because these words made his cock pulse. The drummer pulled the other man’s hair, and he moved his hips up so he could kiss John’s lips. He deepened the kiss and grabbed harder, making John whimper on his mouth. Holding himself on the bassist’s shoulder, Roger sinked himself down on his lap, doing the moviment again and again._

_“Just like that, Deaky,” Roger said, leaving his lips for a few seconds._

_Taking control again, John held on Roger’s waist and started to lift him up and down, letting gravity help him. He could feel the head of his cock hitting Roger’s spot again. Soon he was crying out one more time, but John didn’t stop. “Like that?” his voice was full of confidence._

_“Fuck, yes!”_

_Finding strength when he thought he didn’t any more, John kept lifting the blond, pounding into him deeper. Roger’s moans were now higher than before; the way he’s saying his name was different and new. John wanted to see him losing his mind, so he stayed in that pace, feeling the muscle tightening up more often. This made him want it even more, and he didn’t stop. His breath was getting thin, and he could feel his own body saying he’s close._

_“John, fuck, I’m...” Roger was almost sobbing, slightly trembling. “I’m almost...Fuck!” he moaned louder when John pulled him down._

_It was hard to concentrate when Roger was cursing in his ear, but John kept moving him up and down, as deep as he could, the feeling on his underbelly growing and growing, his body getting tensed, and he started to whisper, “Come now… Come for me, Rog.”_

_With a last and strong hit, Roger let out a long moan, his cum dirting both of them. A tired smile rose up, the blond feeling so high right now._

_John lied him on bed and bumped a bit more inside him, blue eyes staring at him in silence. Somehow that was an extreme turn on to him, knowing who’s the owner of those pairs of eyes. Moments later, with Roger humming, he could reach his own orgasm. If they both weren’t too light-headed they could register that John called the drummer’s name in that moment._

_It was too difficult to stay in that position right now, so John pulled out, Roger moaned relieved, and the brunet rested next to the blond. He was still trying to catch his breath, and they should at least take a bath before the bed was full of cum, but right now they were too lazy to move._

_“Fuck, Deaky. That was amazing,” Roger spoke first._

_John moved his face to look at him, his mouth still dry, trying to breathe normally again. He just nodded enthusiastically, unable to speak. Roger laughed._

_“You seemed very… familiar with the whole process, I must say.” Roger wouldn’t judge him, but he was curious._

_John bit his own lip, blushing. “I found a girl or two that liked it,” John murmured._

_Roger rolled his eyes. Shy John was back again. “Please, no need to be like that with me, Deaky. You already had me,” Roger got closer, smirking, holding the brunet’s chin between his thumb and index finger. “Had me damn good.”_

_John looked to his lips, still so desirable, and wet his own lips. “What about you? Because you wouldn’t ride if it was your first time.”_

_“Well...” Roger let out a yawn. “Remember my ex girlfriend Sarina? She’s into some things like that, and I said ‘why not?’, because we only live once.”_

_“Very forward,” John laughed, trying to not imagine the scene, because he wouldn’t want to get a hard-on again._

_They let a silence settle between them, both immersing on their own thoughts. It was a good lay, they couldn’t deny that, and they wouldn’t say no for a second, third, fourth…_

_But what could happen after that?_

_“Rog,” John restarted, and caught the blond’s attention. “Should we say this to Freddie and Brian? I mean, they would hate it if they didn’t find out for us.”_

_Roger lingered a few seconds to answer him._

_“Deaky. We don’t need to say,” Roger seemed chill. “We had a good time, and I’m down if you want to do it again, but I don’t feel the need to talk about it to them. They don’t have to know every detail of my life.”_

_John nodded. Of course he’s right. “And Brian probably would lecture us on how this will break up the band,” the bass player said._

_“And Freddie would ask a bunch of questions, that rotter,” giggled the blond. “Who was the top? What were the positions? The shape of the cocks. Oh my god, don’t make me!” he threatrically shivered, and he moved to John, being on all fours above him. “But… Do you want to?” he asked, intrigued._

_John thought it was the right thing to do… But Roger was right, they didn’t have to._

_“Do you think we can hide this?” John leaned his face closer to Roger._

_Roger liked the way John held his breath when he brushed their lips together. A mischievous smile appeared._

_“If you don’t tease me during rehearsals, I think we can,” the drummer whispered._

_John glued their lips together again and gave him a long peck. “And where would be the fun in that?”_

_Roger should know at that moment he was walking on thin ice, but he never was a good listener._

_“I think we should take a bath,” Roger said pointedly._

_“Thankfully, my bath is big enough to fit both of us.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must say I got very proud of myself after writing this


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter sm  
> Pls treat it kindly

_Brian came with the idea to add a guitar solo during the gigs, since people started to compliment his performance too much. The other three bandmates couldn’t handle him bragging about it anymore, but Roger thought that this would be nice in some way, so he encouraged his friend to create a ten minute long guitar solo, who – of course – adored the idea, and a week after he showed with the solo, ready to play it in the next gig._

_John didn’t understand why Roger gave the guitar player this idea until the gig, when Brian started to play and Roger moved away to the drums and silently called him. The brunet got confused, but followed him anyway, seeing Freddie passing next to him, saying he needed some water for his vocal cords. The brunet kept walking until the room the pub owner let them use as a backstage room. He could hear people enjoying Brian’s solo._

_“What –” John started to ask, but Roger cut him holding his wrist and pushing them to the bathroom._

_Roger locked them up and pushed John against the door. He had a devious smile and whispered “What a best way to spend Brian’s solo than sucking you off?”_

_The drummer unbuttoned John’s trousers and unzipped it, put it down. He went down on his knees and pulled down his pants._

_John could be nervous at first, imagining someone_ _knowing what they’re doing there, but all those thoughts went away when Roger’s mouth found his cock, his wet tongue moving slyly against his skin, looking he’s enjoying pleasing him. The bass player was holding his moans so hard, and he could sense Roger was doing all he could to break him._

_He’s holding himself on the door, while the drummer was bobbing his head with energy, putting all his height on the mouth, sucking slowly and deep. All that John could do was shiver, feeling his body on the other’s mercy, trying to not lose the strength on his legs. But it’s difficult, because Roger was doing magic with his lips, humming lowly during his own motions._

_A note at Brian’s solo came to John’s ears, indicating they should go back soon to the stage, and maybe Roger noted that too, because he worshipped faster with his mouth, deepening his moviments, and John had to muffle his mouth, because he could let out a moan any time. Roger moved again and again, his saliva so warm, his tongue playful and loose, and at some point the brunet man gave up and loaded on his mouth._

_He found a small towel next to him and dry his forehead and neck, and watched Roger just swallowing his cum, and that was making him want more than a blowjob._

_“Should we make this a thing during Brian’s solos?” asked Roger, getting up again, still pretty close on him._

_“I thought you wanted to be cautious,” commented John while he pulled up his trousers._

_“Like this didn’t turn you on,” Roger smiled shamelessly, and took out an eyeliner from his pocket, opening it up and brushing it against John’s eyelid. The bass player just mutely questioned him, and he said “We need an excuse.”_

_And they kissed, heated and uncaring, John holding Roger close and sucking his lips with a need that he didn’t know where he came from._

_Moments later they heard Freddie calling them. They unlocked the door and got out. Freddie looked at them with suspicious eyes._

_“What were you two doing in there?” asked the main singer._

_“Deaky asked me to refresh his make-up,” Roger’s tone was so casual that even John would believe him._

_Freddie got a bit closer and looked at John’s make-up. “Next time ask me, dear, because Roger is horrible at this. Let’s go.”_

_Roger turned to John and mouthed “A new thing.”_

_John held a laugh. He couldn’t say no to that._

_\---_

_After the tenth time Roger and John gave some excuse to go out of the rehearsal together or to lock themselves in a room or even to stay at each other’s flat, Freddie started to wonder what the hell the two younger men were doing. Sometimes helping the other to study for some exam (when John and Roger had pretty different majors), sometimes Roger asked for some advice (always in closed doors), sometimes John needed a hand for fixing his car (while he’s very good at it)._

_So far Brian couldn’t care less about that, but Freddie started to analyze them. They were best friends, they couldn’t hide secrets in his band!_

_He could see John smiling more and Roger whispering in a low tone with the bass player, but they’re always close, but now… something was different._

_But then, on John's birthday, Freddie wanted to make his friend a surprise. He made a cake and called Brian to surprise him at his flat. He tried to contact Roger, but he didn’t find the blond. And knowing the bass player never locked his front door, the surprise would be bigger._

_The two men got into the flat and put the cake and the beers at the living room table. “He’s probably still sleeping,” said Freddie._

_“I still think it’s wrong to come to this flat without him knowing,” commented Brian, a bit uncomfortable._

_“It’s a surprise, Brian. Him not knowing is the whole point!” Freddie rolled his eyes. “How about we wake him up? He will die!”_

_“Scared, of course.”_

_“Fuck off, Bri.”_

_They walked carefully to the hall until John’s room, so they couldn’t be heard. A long yawn was heard inside the room, and after that some giggles. Freddie thought it’d be fun to make a surprise party for his friend, but he didn’t really think of how he should enter his bedroom without giving him a heart attack._

_Brian was right, but he wouldn’t give him this satisfaction._

_Just when Freddie was about to ask Brian what they should do now, they heard John screaming “Fuck! Fuck!”_

_Freddie and Brian looked to each other. The first thing that crossed their minds was that John was choking on something and was desperate. They should help the bass player, so they opened the door in the next second._

_But, of course, they were wrong._

_John was on his knees on the mattress, completely naked, holding himself on the headboard, while someone was holding on his thighs, their mouth on his ass, greedily licking him up. The brunet was moaning with no shame, and in a second look Freddie and Brian knew that pair of skinny legs spreaded at the bed._

_“Jesus Christ!” shouted Brian, walking backwards._

_“My eyes!” yelled Freddie._

_Roger and John looked to where the other two were and widened their eyes, frightened._

_“Oh my god!” exclaimed John._

_Freddie and Brian closed the door again and ran to the living room. They couldn’t form words, but every time they looked at each other they relived the scene they just saw. They were going to get sick._

_“I wish I could go back to the moment I didn’t see that,” Brian was trembling, and groaned after. “Hell, everytime I blink my eyes I see them on the bed!”_

_“They were fucking without telling us, what the hell!” Freddie was outraged. He’s gay, they should feel comfortable to talk about that with him, not hiding themselves._

_The bedroom door was opened again and the singer and guitar player saw John and Roger getting out, blushing hard, John hearing a pijamas and Roger only with shorts._

_“Look, we can explain,” started John._

_“Well, you don’t need to. What we saw there was pretty self explanatory,” Brian shook his head, still astonished._

_“We didn’t think you should know, since it’s… you know… sex.”_

_Freddie blinked. “Just sex? Aren’t you two dating?”_

_John and Roger looked to each other. Maybe they stared at each other a second or two more than necessary._

_“No, we’re not,” Roger answered._

_“I can’t believe you, Meddows! I asked you to not fuck anyone important to me!”_

_“He’s not your relative!” Roger didn’t understand._

_“He’s my bandmate and friend! He’s important as well!”_

_“Yes, Rog, he’s your mate,” agreed Brian._

_Roger felt weird hearing them saying that John was his ‘mate’._

_John thought about it for a moment. He’d be lying if he said he never wondered what he and Roger were. Yes, they were bandmates and friends, they had great sex together, but… what else? Obviously he never had the heart to speak out loud with the blond about it, because this could complicate things, and so far everything was great._

_Life was good. College was great, the band was having gigs almost every weekend, he had good friends, and now he could get off now and then. Why mess things up?_

_His eyes focused on a cake that was on his center table. “Did you make me a cake?” John asked, a bit moved with the gesture._

_“Of course, it’s your birthday,” Freddie said, reluctantly._

_“That’s why we came here, to give you a surprise.”_

_“We tried to call Roger, but he was… out of reach.” Brian was ashamed._

_Roger clapped, trying to change the mood. “The cake looks delicious. Should we eat it now? I’m starving.”_

_“WE GET IT, ROGER! YOU WERE HAVING SEX!” Freddie wasn’t happy._

_\---_

_Roger found a quiet street next to John’s flat. The brunet said he had a big test tomorrow, so he couldn’t stay up all night – which always happened when Roger stayed at his flat – but the drummer was whining about not having ‘a piece of Deaky’ for a week, so he wanted at least a quickie._

_The space in the car was short, but Roger made it work, holding John’s legs while he pounding inside him, in an angle to fuck him deep. They could feel the whole vehicle shaking with their moves, and everyone that was outside could know what they were doing, but they didn’t mind._

_John tried to be bottom a few times, and he was enjoying it. The way Roger looked at him when he was inside of him, a thirsty lust on his blue eyes, his thickness around him, the need in every move, everything made him John get more addicted to it._

_The drummer knew John never was a very vocal person, especially in sex, but he knew how to show he’s liking it: he liked to bite his lower lip, incrising the action everytime Roger did something right; the brunet wided his mouth when he’s almost there, the veins of his neck popping up; and he rolled his eyes when the blond found his prostate, filling Roger’s chest of pride._

_That’s what is happening right now. Roger was insistently hitting his sweet spot, making the brunet arching his back on the leather seats, and he didn’t stop until John came, his body tensing up for a few seconds. Roger came a bit after him._

_John moved a inch so Roger could fit between the seat back and him. He let Roger play with his hair, curling a strain with his index finger._

_“Smart thought of putting a condom on me too. I’d totally mess your car,” John laughed, taking off the condom of his – now soft – cock and wrapping it up._

_“I’m smart, you know,” Roger teased._

_John nodded, moving his face up so he could reach Roger’s lips, kissing him quickly. “I know you are. That’s why I don’t get why you don’t want to try a career in Biology.”_

_Roger kissed him back. “Because,” One more peck. “I don’t want to. Besides I know Queen will be famous, so there’s no need to have a plan B.”_

_The brunet looked at him, admiring his security about the future. Indeed, Roger Taylor was meant to be a star, John never doubted that._

_“And I’m sure of that just as I’m sure you will score this test tomorrow,” smiled Roger, seeing John blushing; the brunet never was good with compliments, and Roger found amusing to see his cheeks getting red in a second. “I see you studying for this in weeks, Deaky, and you’re very smart. Sometimes smarter than Brian.”_

_“Don’t let him hear this,” joked the bassist, and they laughed._

_The bassist leaned on him one more time and kissed him, cupping with delicacy his cheeks, gluing their lips and making their bodies met again. Their skins were still exposed, so they felt the friction of flesh against flesh, shivering with the cold night and themselves. John stayed a bit longer and hummed before moving away._

_Roger blinked, agaped. “What was that for?”_

_John didn’t know either, he just wanted to do it. “Why? Can’t I kiss you?”_

_“I’ll never deny you that,” Roger bit his lip, getting closer again. “Do you want another round?”_

_“You never rest, Roger!” laughed the brunet, pushing him away and grabbing his clothes, to put them on again. “But I need to sleep.”_

_They dressed up again and Roger started his car again, just to drive his John in front of his building. The drummer reminded the other they had a rehearsal tomorrow, and then they would go see a movie, John just nodded._

_When they were outside they never shared a goodbye kiss, so John just smiled at Roger and said ‘good night’, getting out of the car. Roger waited as the brunet reached the building front door, as always, and John smiled and waved to him before going inside._

_The drummer felt a funny thing on his chest, but he ignored and restarted his car._

_\---_

_J_ _ohn couldn’t believe he was buying a snack for Roger just to apologize to him. The blond was mad at him since he saw the ‘Misfire’ lyrics._

_It wasn’t even a real song. John never was a songwriter, but one night he was writing down some words and when he saw he already had some sentences, and he played with his bass, creating a tune. But he would never show to Freddie or Brian, and especially not to Roger._

_Because it was about their first night together, and the… misfire situation. John liked very much at the time, and maybe the whole point was to put out how amazing it was that night._

_He didn’t hide the paper well and one day Roger was at John's flat and found the lyrics, and when he got the meaning of it, he yelled with John, saying he felt humiliated, and was until that moment without talking with him._

_So, John thought that maybe a candy bar could improve his mood, and he knew how much he liked Drifter._

_The stupid informations he retained because they’re together almost every day._

_Getting back to his flat, Roger was still on the couch, watching some commercials, and he even watched at him when the brunet sat next to him._

_“Hey, Rog. I bought you something,” John showed the candy bar, with an apologetic smile._

_Roger looked tempted to the Drifter, but then he shook his head and glanced away. “Are you trying to bribe me, John?”_

_“Roger, look, I’m sorry. I swear to you that I’d never show that to anyone. It was just some lyrics,” John touched his arm, carefully._

_John didn’t like that. When they were together it was fine, they had a good time, in and outside the bed. Roger always was a good company, to joke around or to just enjoy themselves. Seeing him being cold was something weird for him, and the brunet wanted to solve this so they could go back to normal._

_The urge on this was making John feel strange._

_“John, I’d never write about us like that. Anyone that reads this will know you’re talking about someone that came too soon,” Roger said, his tone still accusatory._

_“But no one would know it’s about you!” John tried to be reasonable._

_“Well, I would!”_

_“Rog, please,” John took his hand. “I promise, Freddie and Brian will never know about this song. If you want to, you can set it on fire right now.”_

_A devious smile showed on the drummer’s face. Maybe he liked the idea._

_Without saying anything he grabbed the candy bar, opened it and took a bite. John accepted it as his answer._

_Someone knocked at the flat door. “I hope you two are decently dressed.” They heard Freddie’s voice._

_Roger rolled his eyes and John laughed. “We are.”_

_Freddie opened the door, showing himself and Brian, they two smiling to the youngest men. “Then chop chop, my friend said that he wanted to see us perform before so we could contract us for his birthday,” Freddie clapped his hands._

_“Now we’re playing at birthday parties,” Roger snorted. “Next stop is children parties.”_

_Brian looked to the table and grabbed a paper. “John, are you writing songs? I thought you weren't into it.”_

_Roger and John looked at each other, terrified, and Freddie smiled and shifted closer to the guitar player, taking a look at the paper too. And the Queen rhythm section saw the other two men’s faces change in the next moment: first shocked, and then amused. Freddie opened his mouth, surprised, and Brian was trying to laugh._

_“Well, that’s… something,” stated the curly-haired man._

_Freddie muffled his mouth, but his whole body was shaking with the laughter. “Wonderful subject for a song.”_

_John could see Roger blushing strongly._

_“Care to share who was the inspiration for it?” Brian couldn’t hold himself anymore._

_“Look...” Roger started, but he was cut by John._

_“It happened to me during my first night with Roger,” The bassist spoke too fast, and Roger looked surprised at him. “I needed to get this off my chest, but I wasn’t planning to show to any of you.”_

_John quickly went to the kitchen and came back with a lighter._

_“In fact, I was about to burn it,” John lightened it up._

_Freddie and Brian started to speak, not ready to give up on that._

_“There’s no need, Deaky...”_

_“Why such a rush decision?”_

_“We certainly will find a place for this track in our first album...”_

_Roger was giggling in silence._

_“It’s not even a good song, mates,” said John. “It came out wrong.”_

_“At least it came, right?” joked Freddie._

_The other three laughed, and John set the paper on fire._

_With this, they left the flat, Roger let himself a bit behind so he could talk with John when putting his jacket._

_“Deaky, you didn’t –” and again he was cut by the brunet._

_“But I did. Now we’re even?” John smiled at him._

_Roger smiled back and nodded, giving him a long peck in the end._

_\---_

_“Jurassic Park is a kid movie, Deaky!” exclaimed Roger._

_“So what? They talk about dinosaurs and biotechnology, how you can not be excited about it?” John was surprised._

_“Because I don’t care about this shit!”_

_They were in the street going to buy some ice cream. John said there was a very good ice cream shop some blocks from his flat, but for the drummer, who always liked more to drive than to walk, seemed too far away. But they were already there, so they were chatting, when John started to talk about the movie he knew Roger never liked._

_“E.T. is almost the same as Jurassic Park,” commented John._

_Roger stopped in front of him, shocked, and put his hand on the brunet’s chest, making him stop. “Take that back.”_

_“What? They both talk about childhood and adventure, and...”_

_“E.T. is a masterpiece, John, that talks about friendship, bounding and...” Roger stopped and took a deep breath._

_John tried to hold his laugh. “Are you crying, Rog?”_

_“Fuck off, Deaky, it’s a very emotional movie. You just don’t get it.”_

_John felt a drop of water fall on his forehead and he looked up. More drops reached his face, and he could see the clouds getting darker._

_In a second a heavy rain started, making people run to some shops nearby, or to their homes again. Roger and John looked to a house with a ‘FOR SALE’ sign and ran to there, climbing the few stairs of it. They looked at each other, slightly wet, and laughed._

_“I can’t believe I forgot to bring my umbrella,” John shook his head, feeling stupid._

_“Relax, this rain will pass soon,” Roger looked at the front door, and then to the brunet. “Do you want to go in?”_

_John thought he was crazy. “Roger, we can’t get inside an empty house.”_

_“Don’t be so uptight, John. We will look for a bit. No one will know we were here,” Roger held the handle and turned it over._

_The door was open, and the blond smiled, triumphant. John looked to the street, but besides the rain no one was there, so after thinking for some seconds he went inside the house._

_It was a very classic house, with a large hall and a wood staircase going to the first floor. John liked to imagine how it would be when he had enough money to afford a real house, and when he had a family to fill the place. Without the furniture it seemed a normal house, but John would like to imagine himself living in a house like that._

_Roger was already exploring the place and he found a room. “John, come here,” he called._

_The bass player walked there and got into the room. It’s a large room with a big wall shelf._

_“I would make this my home office,” said Roger, with a playful voice. “Filling that shelt with books.”_

_“Your sci-fi books, I’m sure,” laughed John, and Roger gave him the finger; the brunet used to mock him, saying sci-fi wasn’t real literature. “Oh, and in the walls you could hang some news and golden discos from Queen.”_

_“Why not? I’d be proud of my band’s accomplishments,” nodded the drummer, looking to the walls and picturing what the brunet said._

_“Of course you would,” snorted John. “You could put a table here,” the man pointed to the center of the room. “Drinking beer and smoking your cigarettes while you listen to our songs.”_

_“You really think I’m that pretentious, Deaky?”_

_John laughed hard, seeing he found the right strand to push. “You’re so easy to piss.”_

_“Fuck off.”_

_“Is that a fantasy of yours? Having sex in a for sale house?”_

_John kept laughing until Roger held him and pushed him to the wall. His breath stopped when he saw the way the blue eyes were looking at him. Something so strong to shut him up._

_“I’d fuck you anywhere, Deaky, don’t tease me.”_

_John wrapped his arms around his neck and showed a challenging smirk. “I’d like to see you try.” And he kissed Roger._

_There was always something intoxicating on John’s lips that made Roger never get tired of them. He liked to kiss in a tender manner, almost tempting, trying to drive Roger crazy and make him go further. It didn’t mean John was soft, no. He liked to push the drummer, to show he knew what he was doing. The brunet liked to get what he wanted and knew how he wanted it._

_It was known, but still surprising._

_He sucked Roger’s lips while his hands ran through the blond hair, grabbing softly and moving his face to deepen the kiss. When he put his tongue on the drummer’s mouth his fingers were brushing on Roger’s nape, his thumbs caressing the ear lobes._

_Roger was holding on his ribs, feeling the man body moving between the kisses, enjoying the little sounds that John produced every time he pushed his lips with the teeth. A pain so worthy to feel._

_That weird was on his stomach again, rising up to his chest, warm him on the inside._

_He pulled away and stared at the brunet. The way he batted his eyelashes, the content smile on his thin lips, his charming prominent nose, the small wrinkles in the corner of his eyes, his perfect eyebrows._

_“What day is today?” Roger asked him._

_John didn’t understand his question, but he did answer anyway. “Twenty-second of May.”_

_“Okay.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for angst? :)))))

**Author's Note:**

> Thank @drummerandbassist on tumblr to get birth to this story


End file.
